I have been married for three years. I have two boys that are 3 and 2. The first two years of my marrige were rough. My husband was physically and verbally abusive. He would have rage blackouts. Basically, stress or anger would cause him to blackout and when he came out of it he has no recollection of what he has done. Each time this happened I always made excuses to stay and work things out.
A little over a year ago we got into another big fight and he started hitting me. Like many times before I fought back but this time I fought back hard. I kicked him in the ribs and nearly broke two of them. Sadly, this did not faze him during the fighting. At that moment I wanted to give up. I had tried everything to make our marriage last but was tired of doing it alone. After the last fight, he started to step up. He was still the same as before but was not abusive. I took it as a good first step to make our marriage work.
I tried to move past what he had done like I had the many times before. Sadly, a year goes by and we are still at a stand still. I needed closure. All I wanted and needed to know was one question. 'Why did it take two years of abuse for it to suddenly end after two years?' He does not know the answer. He can tell me that he lost himself along the way and after that one incident he just found himself. Here is the problem with that answer, he still is not sure if that is even the reason. I need a definate and truthful answer. Without it I know that this marriage is going to end. The answer he gave could actually work but it still is not definate.
After two years of trying to save my marriage alone, he decides to work things out. When I want to give up, he steps to the plate. Abuse was always a dealbreaker for me but I was willing to over look it for so long because I loved him. Now that the love is pretty much gone, I know that if it ever happened again (not that it will) I could leave. Would the answer he gave be good enough for you to move on or would you still need that definate answer?
I know this is long. I did not mean to ramble on. Thank you for the inputs/advice in advance.
on Jan. 5, 2014 at 1:57 AM