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Stressed to the MAX!!!! (update in red)

Posted by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:02 PM
  • 27 Replies

I just need to talk to someone. 

My fiances mom had a stroke about a week ago. I told my fiance because his brothers wife hates their mom that she could come stay with us when she got discharged but now they like to rub it in our faces that they get to stay up and drink and watch tv. And how there daughter sleeps for 13 hours and doesnt wake up or anything and how they are going out with there friends this weekend. While they are 28 and 30 yrs old i am 23 my fiance will be 28 tomorrow and we have a three year old im up all day all night with there mom i am running on 3 hours of sleep today and believe me when my fiance asked me to marry him i promised him i would always be there for him no matter what and i mean it thats why i am doing this and also because i love his mom. But when his brother and sister in law text me and rub it in my face all the fun things they are getting to do it makes me angry because they are not helping with their mom at all we were the ones who took the responsibility on i understand that, but dont rub it in my face that your getting to do all these fun things while i am trying to be so strong for his mom and hold everything togetherwith myself my home my relationship, and still be the best mom i can be and give our son the attention he needs. My fiance is scared this will make me want to leave because of the stress and pressure im under but i dont know what else i can say that will let him know i am here threw it all no matter what it is.  Im sorry this is long and im sure noone really wants to hear it but i just need to get it off my chest... :) Thanks for listening ladies



Update:

So i woke up this morning with a full nights rest my mother in law had a good night i have been doing alot of callin this morning trying to figure things out and i have to say that what you ladies said has helped alot . The dr is going to see her this afternoon to get her anxiety under control. As for the ones rubbing it in that they arent having to do any of this they are officially blocked from my cell phone and i deleted facebook also just to get away from all of it. I am going to talk to a home health facility today. And try and get some answers to disability.  As of now my best friend does home health and is a cna so me and fiance have decided to pay her out of pocket until we can really get everything going. 

by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:02 PM
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Replies (1-10):
mrsniebo
by Bronze Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 5:28 PM
Try to not let them get to you. You are doing a great thing by taking care of family while they are being selfish. I hope things get better for you and that you get a bit of a break soon.
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LadyBast
by Brenda on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:47 PM

Tell them just let them know, I would not be quiet at all then again that is me! I think your soon to be should understand and be helping a lot too..

So just talk and speak up! I sure would!

furbabymum
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:49 PM

 First off, they're assholes. They're bragging that they suck? Stupid.

Secondly, you shouldn't be taking the care of his mother on all by yourself. If she needs that much help you need to get someone to come help. What insurance does she have? She may qualify for a home health aide. Look into it. 3 hours of sleep is dangerous for all parties involved so you really aren't helping anyone right now.

JakobsMom03
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 6:54 PM
2 moms liked this

 Text them every day with an update on how their mom is doing. Every time they boast about their social life, boast about how mom ate something solid today! or whatever accomplishment that made it a better day then yesterday. Do it nicely, and as peppy as you can manage in a text message. Yea- it's a little passive aggressive, but maybe they will get the hint and knock it off. You're a great person for what you're doing. Many people wouldn't see it through.

Fayanne
by Platinum Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 7:59 PM

 they are being incredibly childish.. I would have expected they were much younger than you said

Be like a duck and let it roll off your back. Stop taking their calls, ignore the texts, or block their number. Be the bigger person, let karma take care of the rest.

And have your fiance look into a home health aide or nurse who can come by and give you some relief

MagicTemptation
by Gold Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:50 PM

I'm with Fayanne, block their numbers! What is the issue that she is up all night? Is your husband helping?

Cherish77
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 10:56 PM

Can you change your number and not tell them what it is?  either that or just delete their texts without reading them.

huntmom1104
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:01 PM

My soon to be helps as much as he can he gets off work and takes over and then he has to go to sleep an be up at 4 am . We have tried looking into home health and are trying to get her disability i think is what it is. She has insurance threw the indians i think . Im not sure on what to do and neither does my fiance we just got this thrown at us and havent really had to deal with anything like this before. 

Quoting Fayanne:

 they are being incredibly childish.. I would have expected they were much younger than you said

Be like a duck and let it roll off your back. Stop taking their calls, ignore the texts, or block their number. Be the bigger person, let karma take care of the rest.

And have your fiance look into a home health aide or nurse who can come by and give you some relief


huntmom1104
by on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:04 PM

My fiance helps and takes over as soon as he gets home and lets me try and rest. But he has to go to bed early because he has to get up at 4am to go to work.  She has Indian insurance i think is what it is im not sure we kinda got all this thrown at us and i have no idea where to even start looking to get some home health started. If you know of a way i would greatly appreciate any advice i could get. An so would my fiance Thank you guys for helping me im still young and i honestly dont know what steps to take . 

Quoting furbabymum:

 First off, they're assholes. They're bragging that they suck? Stupid.

Secondly, you shouldn't be taking the care of his mother on all by yourself. If she needs that much help you need to get someone to come help. What insurance does she have? She may qualify for a home health aide. Look into it. 3 hours of sleep is dangerous for all parties involved so you really aren't helping anyone right now.


shadow_lark
by Silver Member on Jan. 8, 2014 at 11:23 PM
I would start by calling the hospital she was treated at. Most have people who are knowledgeable about the ins and outs of insurance as well as disability and social security benefits.

You could also call her insurance company and ask what's available as far as help with continuing care.


Quoting huntmom1104:

My fiance helps and takes over as soon as he gets home and lets me try and rest. But he has to go to bed early because he has to get up at 4am to go to work.  She has Indian insurance i think is what it is im not sure we kinda got all this thrown at us and i have no idea where to even start looking to get some home health started. If you know of a way i would greatly appreciate any advice i could get. An so would my fiance Thank you guys for helping me im still young and i honestly dont know what steps to take . 

Quoting furbabymum:

 First off, they're assholes. They're bragging that they suck? Stupid.


Secondly, you shouldn't be taking the care of his mother on all by yourself. If she needs that much help you need to get someone to come help. What insurance does she have? She may qualify for a home health aide. Look into it. 3 hours of sleep is dangerous for all parties involved so you really aren't helping anyone right now.


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