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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Advice please!!!!!

Posted by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 2:33 AM
  • 16 Replies
I've been with my husband for 2 years and 9 months.. But we've been married for almost 7 months now and these past couple of months have been horrible on our marriage!! Any advice would be awesome right now?? I've been looking into my bible and i havent really found any answers /: i've also been praying ALOT about it.. We also have a 1 year old daughter and I love my husband with all my heart and would really like to figure this out!! Please??
by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 2:33 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jan. 14, 2014 at 2:41 AM
Do you have a pastor or counselor you can talk to?
Aprilbaby14
by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 2:42 AM
Hello Ms. I am April. I am sorry to hear you are having bumpy times with your husband. I can relate to you. I am in to God a lot I pray constantly I have a son. Can add me to your frndlist if you would like. Be glad to help you with your issues a good listener as well. I hope things get better asap. Take goodcare -April
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Monsita
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 2:47 AM
Having babies sometimes challenges how much time we can spend alone as couples...however, it is important to make the time.

Planning a date out without the baby, helps a lot.
Time doing something together, besides housework, is important too!
committed4ever
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:02 AM

Since you read your bible study 1 corinthians 13 known as the love chapter.  Also as recommended above talk to your pastor or even your pastor's wife if they are a good example and you see fruit in their marriage.   If not ask a friend about their pastor. A lot of churches counsel for free or very small fees.

I pray that things will turn around for you.  Just know that rough patches happen but don't put up with abuse. 

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 5:40 AM

 

Quoting Bae_boo123: 

 we've been married for almost 7 months now and these past couple of months have been horrible on our marriage!!

 you didn't give any details, so it's hard to give advice

His Needs, Her Needs is a really good book, try that

                   
    Life is divine chaos
Embrace it.  Forgive  yourself.   Breathe
           And enjoy the ride....   

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Jan. 14, 2014 at 6:18 AM

Well without knowing details of what the issues are, it's very hard to give  specific or detailed advice. 

Most important thing is  to communicate with one another. Try to use I statements like "I feel, I wish, I  appreciate when, It would mean a lot to me if, I feel special and loved when, It hurts my feelings when, I"m worried about.. I would like to do whatever I can to make you  feel loved and make our marriage better, what do you think I could do or we could both do to make that happen? If  you  use I  statements instead of  You statements like YOu always, you  never, you made me... etc  the other person is more open to  listen and really hear what you are  saying and feels more safe and open to talk to you truthfully. If you use you statements they feel defensive right away and are probably thinking of what to say to  defend themselves or put everything on you to get it off  of them instead of really hearing what you are trying  to say. 

It sounds like  the bible is important to you so one  thing I can not  reccomend highly enough and you do not even have to believe in God to go but it is run  by various churches , you can pick whatever denominiation you feel most comfortable with if you care about that and find one in your area, it's called Worldwide Marriage Encounter.. no one knows your business, no one knows if you  are there  to work on issues or to just enrich an already wonderful  marriage. They guide you   without knowing that stuff and you  work on it the way they teach you in private as a couple, they also have LOTS Of special romantic and meaningful touching surprises and things throughout the weekend to make it  extra special and memorable. I know some couples who went and it helped them decide if  they should get a divorce at that time or not. It saved some marriages on brink of dvorce and then others ithelped them decide amicably that their marriage was indeed over. It teaches you communication and marriage enrichment skills you can use to make your relationship better once you go home too. 

Although the true cost of it  is expensive, they take FREEWILL donations, so at end of weekend  they tell you how much it really cost to have each couple there and then give you envelopes and you put in envelope whatever you can affford if you can only afford $50 then they will accept that. IF you can afford extra to help pay for couples who cant afford full cost then  bless your  heart. You olnly have to put small amount of money down to reserve your spot on  your weekend. Good luck

I hope this helps. 

Here is  link for more info and to find one near  you. 

http://www.wwme.org/

View Full Size Image YVONNE

jjames1990
by on Jan. 14, 2014 at 6:26 AM


Is communication your problem? Do you have a hard time with it face to face? If so, try email, texts or notes? DH and I do this, sometimes when we are in the same house.

Also, when you have a baby, all of a sudden your not husband and wife any longer, your mom and dad and you lose what you use to have as a couple. Arrange date nights. ExDh and I were military so we didnt havesitters, we would put the kids in the back seat, drive around, they would fall asleep and we would hit a drive thru, listen to music and talk.
LadyBast
by Brenda on Jan. 14, 2014 at 11:15 AM

I think you need to talk to someone, since you did not give details on what the issues are that is about all I can say!

emarin77
by Silver Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 11:26 AM

What is the problem?  Whenever there is a problem in my marriege we always talk it out.  We share our feelings and listen to each other.  It takes practice but it gets easier.

3xangel
by Bronze Member on Jan. 14, 2014 at 12:21 PM
Marriage counseling ASAP! It's good to read your bible, but you're not going to get through this unless you start communicating with your husband. Good luck.
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