Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Sigh...Separation

Posted by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 11:32 PM
  • 34 Replies

So, Im pretty sure I am going to follow through with getting a trial separation from my husband. We have been together for almost 5 years and we have only been married for 8months. Im tired of feeling like the only one who does anything for our relationship. 

I have been having some very messed up thoughts run through my head the last couple months, and I begged him, help me. Dont let me go through it alone, and he refused to even acknowledge me about it. And only now, after almost 3months does he show any interest about it, because I told him I was done. 

Ive tried to show him that I need his attention. Like, any kind of attention. He doesnt talk to me, he doesnt barely make an actual effort in anything. 

We have a 1yr old, we just uprooted ourselves and moved to a completely different state and completely made our lives about our family together, and now, i just cant fucking do it by myself anymore. He doesnt make an effort at anything at all anymore, really, and all the two of us do is work, and be home with Emma. It was fine up until there honestly no connection between us anymore. We never really had sex anymore, either. I mean, it was to get it over with and thats it. (5minutes, ladies.)

God, I love my husband with my entire heart. I dont want our marriage to fall apart. I cant lose him, but I am tired of feeling like im the only one in the relationship. I need to know that there is still a relationship between us anymore. 

Ive never been able to follow through with what Ive "threatened" him with before. I need him to know Im completely serious...

Please help me...what am I supposed to do?


by on Jan. 21, 2014 at 11:32 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
awebber4
by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 12:30 AM
1 mom liked this
I think you should seperate from him for a while and see if this is what you really want. Maybe he will change maybe not. I did this with dh and qwhen we got back together he was great now hes back to his old self :( **hugs** i hope the best for you and stay strong
korra2013
by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 12:33 AM
Stop talking and do it. If you need space then take it. Threatening him does nothing. Only when you guys are apart will you be able to see if it's with fighting for.
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jan. 22, 2014 at 1:03 AM
After 8 months? But you two been together for 5yrs. what changed?
Have you talked someone professional? You're going through a lot and much as you love your husband he can't fix you. He can be supportive of you but you need to talk to someone.
committed4ever
by Bronze Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 4:32 AM
2 moms liked this

Please try counseling first even if you have to do individual counseling first. Can you identify what changed when you got married. I find it hard to believe you had a good relationship and great connection just 8 months ago and just like that it's gone for no reason. 

muisjes
by Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 5:23 AM

It takes two to make a succesful marriage. If you're both willing to make it work, then maybe counseling?

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 5:27 AM
1 mom liked this

 why on earth did you even get married? 8 months?????

chickadees
by on Jan. 22, 2014 at 8:53 AM

A separation could end things...if you go into it, you need to know that.  But maybe thats not a bad thing,  it may be the only way to know if he will straighten out and start "being there" or if he wants out and doesn't know how to tell you.  Either way it's a gamble you need to be willing to take.   Good Luck.

MrsVolle0904
by Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 10:41 AM

See, this is why I have been thinking about it. I love him to death, and everytime I have threatened him with something, he would change for about a week, and then it was like nothing ever changed at all. I love him. I love him with all of my heart. He gave me something to live for (my daughter), but Im just tired. Im tried of feeling alone. Im tired of feeling like, if I have a problem I shouldnt go to my husband because he just doesnt care. I know that its pretty much all on me in the situation, which makes me feel worse, but I dont even have any friends that I can tell any of this to.

I thought I should be able to talk to my husband and he would be supportive. Wrong! Even when my daddy passed, he acted like I wasnt going through anything, and that his parents could treat me like shit. Yes, that was 6 months ago that hes gone, but my daddy was my best friend and now I have absolutely no one. Im depressed and want to be done with life. I would be, if I didnt have my daughter. I just dont know what to do anymore. I think I may go to church on sunday and hopefully one of the pastors can talk to me. but Im not looking for a religious aspect of it, Im jus trying to figure out if my husband and I should have ever gotten married in the first place...

:(

MrsVolle0904
by Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 10:44 AM

I guess we got married because it was the right thing to do. We had a 2month old, and I wanted her to be able to say that her parents were married. I know its weird sounding, but I guess I was caught up in all the rush, and bustle of everthing happening with the move and a new baby and all that


Quoting Fayanne:

 why on earth did you even get married? 8 months?????


MrsVolle0904
by Member on Jan. 22, 2014 at 10:46 AM

I begged him to go to counceling. I begged him to help me and he wouldnt. He refuses counceling, therapy, everything. 

I just dont know what to do!

:(

Quoting muisjes:

It takes two to make a succesful marriage. If you're both willing to make it work, then maybe counseling?


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN