What's the point in shacking up?
because I like that commitment made to each other before family and God
What's going to happen once your are both old and medical decisions need to be made?
What happens if something happens to you and your children are left without a mother? The state would get the kids and then he would have to fight for your other two unless their father/s would step up and take care of them.
You get into an accident tomorrow, he wouldn't be able to do a darn thing about your health care decisions.
I think peoples hearts are in the right place when they marry, but they don't necessarily stay there. When you take your vows...when you say for better or worse...worse will come, trust me. It's how both people deal with it. I've been married twice, the first time was for a very short time and we were young, he was controlling (but I knew no different) and he eventually changed into someone I just didn't like or want to be around. The second time is better, but our relationship is inconsistant. The way dh treats me changes from week to week and we just don't have the closeness we once had. Cuddling is almost non existent unless I initiate it. When he touches me it's pretty clear what he wants. I miss the way things used to be, but I'm so tired of begging for every bit of affection I need or want from him in our relationship. It's too bad too because I have so much more to give, but I just can't have the relationship be one sided any longer. He will take and take and then when I remind him of the fact that he takes and never gives it causes a huge fight that can last weeks. I end up feeling hopeless and depressed, who am I kidding, I feel like that most of the time. I also have major trust issues with him, I won't go into detail, but there are have been some things that have happened to make me question his fidelity. I have no proof, or I wouldn't be here. So I have hope I guess, I have to, that some day things will get better. Wow, this turned into a vent, sorry! To answer your question...I guess I just don't know.