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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

To go back to work or not?

Posted by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 3:48 PM
  • 8 Replies
My hubby and I have been married almost a year and I'm currently 3 months pregnant. Right now I am working full time. He makes enough money that I don't even have to work, I just choose to. We've been discussing whether or not I will go back to work after I have the baby. He's really wanting me to stay home but I saw myself going back to work. In a way I'd like to stay home. I don't want to miss out on some of those precious moments with the baby, plus its hard to trust anyone. Our closest family is two hours away so we would have to find a good daycare. The problem for me is giving up that independence. In my previous marriage I stayed home with our boys and when it fell apart I was just lost. No job, didnt know what I was going to do. I had to work hard to get where I am. Now here I am again looking at the possibility of being in the same situation. I love him more than anything and I know we have a great marriage. He's a hard worker and I appreciate him so much. This is probably just my insecurity. Has anyone else gone through this?
by on Feb. 9, 2014 at 3:48 PM
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Replies (1-8):
Miller0305
by Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 3:49 PM
What do you do for a living?
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Aprils74
by Member on Feb. 9, 2014 at 3:53 PM
I work for the state and really enjoy my job. I've been there for 5 years.
LadyBast
by Brenda on Feb. 9, 2014 at 5:28 PM
1 mom liked this

I would keep working I was always that way and no family to watch our daughter I was with her until she was just about a year or so then I started working again!

LeKendria
by Member on Feb. 10, 2014 at 1:23 AM
You should do whats best for your family. Make sure that everyone is happy. I was in that situation before to and it was very hard to come back up. So i told my husband ,before we married, i would not quit my job at that time and that he would have to. He didnt want to but understood my fear and it worked out. Now 2 years later i have quit my job for my pregnancy but i will go back to work after having my daughter.
Katie3621
by on Feb. 10, 2014 at 4:18 AM
1 mom liked this
Stay home! You get to see so many precious things and watch them grow and change from day to day. It's truly a blessing.
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Feb. 10, 2014 at 5:31 AM

 haven't gone through it, I always went back to work. Good luck

Runner36
by Bronze Member on Feb. 10, 2014 at 8:16 AM

Well, I have been both a working mom and a SAHM.  Right now I am a SAHM again.  I love taking care of our home and family.  I love all the benefits of me staying home, getting things done during the day so that we can spend time together as a family and not worry about donig the cleaning/ grocery shopping/ errands/ etc on the weekends or in the evening.  I loved it when my boys were younger...I was working until my oldest was almost 3 years old.  I quit working when we had our 2nd son.  I didn't get to see my oldest's first steps, the daycare worker did :(  I didn't get to always be the one that was right beside him when he cried.  I was so grateful that I got to be there for my youngest.  I wouldn't trade that for anything in the world.  I believe that if you don't have to work when your kids are babies until they get to grade school, it is in their best interest to be at home with them.

However, I see that you have gone through a rough situation in the past that is definitely influencing your view today.  If you are confident in your marriage and the reason you are not wanting to quit your job is due to the past, I would try and work through that.  If you want to continue working because you feel that makes you a better wife/ mother then that is okay too.  I do know a couple of women that continued working because it really did make them a better mother...they were more stressed and unhappy staying at home.  But I think, as in any marriage, it has to be a decision that is the best for you, your husband and your child.  I would just sit down and really think about things, pray on them if you are religious and have an honest talk with your dh.  At least you have a few months to figure out what you want to do :)  Good luck!

livndaybyday
by Alicia on Feb. 10, 2014 at 8:18 AM
What about part time or per diem?
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