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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

10 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Right Now

Posted by on Feb. 18, 2014 at 9:12 AM
  • 13 Replies
1 mom liked this

10 Ways to Improve Your Marriage Right Now

by Sasha Brown-Worsham

marriageMarriage is not easy. When you've seen people who make it 10, 15, and 30 years together, you know you are looking at two people who have fought, compromised, and stayed committed to one another through a lot. There's a lot to be learned from these people. 

But marriages don't fail from big problems, at least not all the time. Very often, people end up splitting over the small things, especially once the small things add up.

With this in mind, I asked around for advice, small ways that people can improve their love and their marriage today. This doesn't include therapy or major sucking up or any major effort on the part of anyone. These are small things that can make a big difference. So here are 10 important ways you can improve your marriage RIGHT NOW. See below:


  1. Apologize when you are wrong: Forget pride. If you realize you are wrong in a fight, admit it and say you are sorry. It will make a world of difference in terms of staying close.
  2. Imagine the other person gone during a fight: There is no better way to stop a fight than to imagine losing or missing the other person. That sadness? That tightness in your chest? That's the love you feel for them.
  3. Laugh more: For me, this is the biggest secret to 10 years of marriage. My husband and I crack each other up. We roll on the floor laughing and genuinely enjoy each other's company. This is what keeps us strong.
  4. Arrange weekly meetings: If you have young kids and two careers, there is nothing more important than having weekly "meetings." It may not be romantic, but neither is nagging, and this curbs that a lot. From a friend who has started them: "It has been very helpful from a practical side of just getting through everyday life as a team." Amen.
  5. Schedule sex: It's not romantic, but in our busy lives, it's necessary. Pencil that shite in, because you know what's less romantic? A sexless marriage.
  6. Talk about the little things: Talk about the big things, but also discuss the little things. Talk and then talk some more. The more you talk, the more you learn.
  7. Have your own life: No one likes someone with no friends. So get hobbies. Get friends. Get a life! Now! It will make your spouse appreciate you more.
  8. Remember to thank the other person: It's true. However small it seems, remember to say thanks for small things, even if they are expected. "Hey, thanks for making dinner tonight." It creates a lot of goodwill and helps each person feel appreciated.
  9. Stop yelling: No one is suggesting you stop fighting. Some fights are needed. But stop yelling. And name calling. And fighting dirty. Trust me.
  10. Hold hands: Even when you are mad at each other, just touch. Whether it's in bed or out of bed. Sometimes the simple act of touching one another can help curb angry feelings.

More from The Stir: Longest Married Couple in the World Shares Their Secrets

What is your marriage advice? How do you make it last?

by on Feb. 18, 2014 at 9:12 AM
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Replies (1-10):
BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Feb. 18, 2014 at 9:44 AM
1 mom liked this

Not keeping score on who did what or who did more.
Daydreaming about him and thinking of him as that sexy man I want to get alone instead of as my husband.
Do the little things.

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Feb. 18, 2014 at 11:16 AM

 Thanks for posting

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2014 at 11:22 AM

 Marriage counseling. Loads of it. lol

beeky
by Alexandra on Feb. 18, 2014 at 12:57 PM

I've been married for 25 years and I totally agree with all of those. 

Especially #7!  We've always had a good marriage but when I went back to work after 16 years as a sahm,  our relationship became even better.  Probably because I felt better about myself.

bamamommy2009
by Member on Feb. 18, 2014 at 1:00 PM

 remember that he is human and so are you! Don't ever say Divorce! once you say it it is out there and the thought doesn't slip away.. we have never said it and wont! we may have asked the other to please go stay at a parents' house while we calm down but i could not see my life without him in it. I have even gotten so mad at him i took off walking down the street to keep from saying something I knew I would later regret- end result to that is he chased me down with the truck and we talked it out right then....

committed4ever
by Bronze Member on Feb. 18, 2014 at 1:40 PM

 11. Treat each other kindly. Remember neither one is perfect.

Also I would change 5.  From "schedule sex" to "have sex often. make it a priority." One way to accomplish this is stop turning each other down, unless it's that time of the month.  Don't try to have sex with each when the other is sick with a cold, flu, etc.  Other than that, sex can actually HELP headaches and other temporary ailments in a lot of cases. It can also help you sleep better if you feel you're too tired.

withsecond
by on Feb. 18, 2014 at 2:23 PM
Well, we don't schedule sex but we do the other things already. Maybe that's why we do already have a solid marriage.
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Feb. 18, 2014 at 3:33 PM
2 moms liked this

 Don't treat him the way you think he wants to be treated, don't treat him the way you want to be treated, treat him the way HE wants to be treated

BPWifey
by on Feb. 18, 2014 at 4:50 PM

Now that our kids are alot older we make more time for each other..we do have our weekend getaways :) alone at least once a month. And YES I agree with committed4ever you MUST make the time..it's that time that mean the most. 

LadyBast
by Brenda on Feb. 18, 2014 at 7:25 PM

I like all but the schedule sex part I do not like that one :)

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