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What happened on your worst date ever?

Posted by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 9:34 AM
  • 18 Replies

How My Worst First Date Ever Went Straight Down the Toilet

by Corey Levitan 

She was a traditional Catholic girl from New Jersey. I was a former New Yorker visiting my Jewish parents for the week. We met at a Rangers game other people had dragged us to. We both hated hockey. In her case, it was because she preferred other sports. So that's what I pretended, too.

With encouragement from my friend Jumbo Budweiser, I found the nerve to suggest the continuation of our playful conversation over dinner the next night. This is not a story about the woman who would become my wife, and there is a very specific reason why.

She suggested the restaurant. It was an empty dive bar in the East Village that I would never notice, much less enter. But that's not the kind of message you telegraph to a traditional Catholic girl from New Jersey on your first date at her favorite eatery. So, in between pretending to follow her assessment of the New York Giants, I also pretended not to be a vegetarian Jew with Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder.

Luckily, she couldn't see my womanly reaction to the men's room toilet. Rimming the lowered seat was the residue of a nearly successful recent attempt at making the bowl. This forced me to play the same revolting game, since there wasn't enough hand soap in the world for me to raise that seat now. And, as any guy can tell you, this game's second player invariably has worse aim than the first, since he must stand farther away to avoid splash-back containing contributions from the first player.

After trying to wash my memory as thoroughly as my hands, I returned to the table. At that point, my date excused herself to visit the ladies' room. As I watched, my delight at her tight jeans quickly morphed into the horror that Shelley Duvall experienced upon reading what Jack Nicholson had been typing all that time in The Shining. My date was closing in on the same door I had just emerged from. This bar had only one, unisex rest room.

After she returned, I once again pretended to consider the chicken wings. But they were 800-pound gorilla wings now. When both dinner guests avoid eye contact and utter one-word sentences, you know there either won't be a second date or they're married.

After we parted outside with an obligatory cheek kiss -- because only a sexual predator would try for more -- I doubled back to the bathroom. I needed every detail of what happened seared into my memory in an attempt to make sense of it all. What I saw splashed vinegar on my humiliation. The toilet was scoured spotless.

My date was, indeed, more of a man than I was.

What happened on your worst date ever?

by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 9:34 AM
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Replies (1-10):
by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 9:36 AM

I was left at the movie theater in the middle of no where i didn't drive or anything.

by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 10:26 AM
Dinner was interrupted by a phone call from my cousin that my house was on fire, and the fire fighters could not find my cats. They had my dogs out though. We left the restaurant, and hurried home. Nothing like a first date helping you search your destroyed home for your possibly deceased cats. Thankfully they were fine, and lived for many more years. Never saw that guy again, lol.
by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 10:35 AM
He took me to a movie. When he went to drop me off he wouldn't let me out of the car and got mad because I didn't kissb him goodbye and then went off on me because I didn't sleep with him. Needless to say, I only had the one date with him
by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 10:37 AM

My wrap around skirt almost fell off in the middle of a french restaurant.  Caught it just in time.

by Brenda on Feb. 19, 2014 at 1:03 PM

Wow I am not sure I did not date much only my hubby.. So nothing really bad, and I am happy for that!

by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 1:20 PM

My friend set me up with someone that was like 10 years older than me and he wasn't even the least bit cute. I was so mad at her. Obviously it was a blind date. 

He was nice but it was awkward. I wanted to hurt her when the date was over. 

Now, I know looks aren't everything but I have to at least find someone somewhat attractive to go out with them and he just was not my type. AT ALL. 

by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 1:25 PM
We went to Anna Ruby Falls in Helen, GA for our last date before we got married in 2001. It didn't get bad until the air conditioner broke on the drive back and we had to travel for an hour in sweltering heat all the way home.
by Ruby Member on Feb. 19, 2014 at 1:54 PM

He picked me up from the hospital (said he would have brought me flowers but his friends talked him out of it) and took me to lunch.  It was a bit awkward and he kept talking about how he was freaked out because the room I stayed in was the same room that his "crazy uncle" had stayed in. 

by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 3:08 PM

 Thanks for posting

by on Feb. 19, 2014 at 8:03 PM

I went out with a guy who wouldn't take no for an answer and was very pathetic. I figured I'd just bite the bullet and go out one time. What could it hurt, right? He spent a long time talking about how he didn't know what it felt like for anyone other than himself to touch his penis. WTF Dude. He also complained about being lonely. He refused to roll the windows up while we drove down the freeway (which I found more annoying that his penis talk.)

Yeah, I grew a pair after that and didn't care if I hurt his feelings and avoided him at all costs. Naturally, when I married DH a 1-2 years later and we moved into our apartment, guess who was our neighbor?? Creepy penis dude. Yup.

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