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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Husband started Chewing Tobacco

Posted by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 11:55 AM
  • 18 Replies

So my husband and I have been together for nearly 16 years.  In high school we smoked and quit together shortly after we quit he started chewing and hid it from me then he quit that for over 10 years.  Well the past few years he has started chewing and hids it from me, then I find out and he quits, then does it all over again.  I HATE chew, it is absolutely disgusting...he doesn't do it around me but all I have to do is look at him and I picture him doing it and I want to throw up.  I know he has an addiction and needs help, but he doesn't really want help right now, he keeps quitting because he knows I want him to not because he wants to.  I know I need to be the good wife that stays by his side and supports him thru this, but how can we have a healthy relationship when I am disgusted thinking about him doing it or looking at him.  I don't want to kiss him.  How do I get over this so I can be there for him to help him thru this?  Anyone else go thru similar situations or have any advice?

by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 11:55 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Pit_mama1112
by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 11:59 AM

My husband had dipped since he was like 14... but i told him when we got together that it was to go or he would have a lifetime of no kisses... it went. Before our wedding he attempted it again, when i saw the can in his pocket while doing laundry one day, i threw it away. he has yet to touch it again


LaughCryLive
by Bronze Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 12:04 PM

nope. wouldn't put up with it. has nothing to do with being a good wife. i'd rather him smoke.

Brattzilla
by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 12:15 PM

Well nagging at him wont make him stop, he will probably just hide it from you , which in turn creates him lying about it .

Simply lay down the facts on how you feel, in a gentle lovingly manner, and ask him to please try to stop. But no need in nagging at him over it.  Long as he is respecting that you dont like it, he isnt blantantly putting dip into his mouth infront of you like a ha ha ha look at me man-child... he is respecting that you dont like it by not doing it around you.  All you can do, is explain to him your view & hope he can stop. 


farmgirl1006
by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 12:27 PM

I have expressed my feeling about it and he just hides it from me cause he knows I will be upset if he's doing it.

Quoting Pit_mama1112:

My husband had dipped since he was like 14... but i told him when we got together that it was to go or he would have a lifetime of no kisses... it went. Before our wedding he attempted it again, when i saw the can in his pocket while doing laundry one day, i threw it away. he has yet to touch it again



farmgirl1006
by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 12:29 PM

I know naggin won't help, I don't do it.  I express my dislike for it and he decides to quit for awhile, then decides he needs it again and hides it from me until I find it and the cycle starts all over again.  And he wants to quit again, but only because he knows I don't like it, not for himself.

Quoting Brattzilla:

Well nagging at him wont make him stop, he will probably just hide it from you , which in turn creates him lying about it .

Simply lay down the facts on how you feel, in a gentle lovingly manner, and ask him to please try to stop. But no need in nagging at him over it.  Long as he is respecting that you dont like it, he isnt blantantly putting dip into his mouth infront of you like a ha ha ha look at me man-child... he is respecting that you dont like it by not doing it around you.  All you can do, is explain to him your view & hope he can stop. 



Brattzilla
by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 12:34 PM

My exh would do this cycle, and it created a lot of conflict... he would tell me he quit and then i find out he is hiding it.. to me Omitting information is lying, so therefore it created a lot of problems.  However, my exh was a habitual liar, and lied about many many many things.   

I have a low tolerance for "omitting information", my current dh is open about everything hides nothing, and If i dotn like something i state my opinion, and let it rest.   All you can do, is ensure he knows how you feel about it.

serenitycat
by Bronze Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 12:41 PM

yuck

LadyBast
by Brenda on Feb. 25, 2014 at 12:49 PM

I think it is a very nasty habit and I would not put up with it, I need and want to stop smoking too!

Hildi-Gardi
by on Feb. 25, 2014 at 2:24 PM

DISGUSTING! But I smoke,so I don't know if I'd have much room to object if an SO decided to start chewing. I've heard that chewing is more addicting than smoking, because the nicotine reaches the blood stream faster. I have never consciously tried to influence someone to start smoking, but this might be the one exception. If he was an ex-smoker, I'd keep a pack of his old brand around. I don't know what  I'd do if he never smoked. Maybe keep a pack of Marlboro Lights around, and suggest to him that maybe he should smoke instead. They seem like a pretty good starter brand; I couldn't expect him to smoke my Virginia Slims!

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Feb. 25, 2014 at 2:27 PM

 It is up to your husband to stop doing it. There is nothing you can do about it

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