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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My marriage is dead but I care more about my budget

Posted by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:41 PM
  • 16 Replies
1 mom liked this
My marriage have been dead not for 5 years. I have 2 young child that I worry about tremendously. My husband and I live on separate floors. I don't love him anymore and I know that he will never be able to make fullfil me. I have given up on expecting much from him.

I when to see the lawyer to file for divorce and I was more worried about paying for before and after school that I was about my happiness.

Have I settled so much that I don't even know what happiness is?

My children are almost 8 and 6 years old.
by on Feb. 27, 2014 at 9:41 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Katie3621
by Member on Feb. 27, 2014 at 10:39 PM
No. I'd be worried about finances also. Sorry to hear what you're going through tho!
serenitycat
by Bronze Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 9:24 AM
2 moms liked this

You have to meet your primary needs first which is taking care of your children and your security and comfort before you can think about your secondary needs in a relationship with your almost ex husband.  This is normal and expected as a good mother.  Happiness is a choice and has nothing to do with finances.

mrsfitz05
by on Feb. 28, 2014 at 1:24 PM

 well, you have to make sure you can take care of your children financially. Have you had a conversation with your DH about this? Perhaps he wants out too and you could come up with an amicable solution.

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Feb. 28, 2014 at 2:14 PM

 ((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

MomToovey
by Marianne on Feb. 28, 2014 at 9:46 PM
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 I agree that finances are more important. Your children need to be provided for. I agree with the suggestion of talking to him about this. If you're not even living on the same floor as him and your marriage has been dead for 5 years, it's likely he's looking for a way out too. If you two can talk about it, perhaps you can come up with an agreement that allows you two to divorce, move on and be happy, but also keeps the children well cared for.

I also agree with what another poster said about happiness. It's a choice. You can choose to find the good in your situation and be happy, despite the negativity around.

dontgetn
by Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 5:38 PM
1 mom liked this
Quoting MomToovey:

 I agree that finances are more important. Your children need to be provided for. I agree with the suggestion of talking to him about this. If you're not even living on the same floor as him and your marriage has been dead for 5 years, it's likely he's looking for a way out too. If you two can talk about it, perhaps you can come up with an agreement that allows you two to divorce, move on and be happy, but also keeps the children well cared for.


I also agree with what another poster said about happiness. It's a choice. You can choose to find the good in your situation and be happy, despite the negativity around.



I am trying my best. Everyone thinks that I am a fool. They keep telling me that this is no way to live and my children will resent me for staying in a marriage for them. Honestly I rather the children resent me later because I put them first, than for us to be free with our lives turn upside down.
dontgetn
by Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:05 PM
Quoting serenitycat:

You have to meet your primary needs first which is taking care of your children security and comfort before you can think about your secondary needs in a relationship with your almost ex husband.  This is normal and expected as a good mother.  Happiness is a choice and has nothing to do with finances.



I don't hate my husband. He is not the nicest nor smartest person and he doesn't know how to apologize. He feels justified in everything he doesn't and get mad if someone questions his actions.

We have been married for 10 years. He works 7 days per week except for when he need a day off

We are not physically or emotionally married but we have no other support system other than eachother. The difference in personalities and the stress of trying to be good parents to our children has took a toll on the marriage, leaving me with the realization that he is not right for me.

It's like having a stressful job and you want to quit just about everyday you clock in. The reality of it all is that you can't quit, cause you have to pay your mortgage and right now there isn't any thing better out there. You just have to wait just a little longer.
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Mar. 1, 2014 at 6:43 PM
Sorry! Sounds like a tough situation. ((Hugs))
itsmesteph11
by Member on Mar. 1, 2014 at 7:33 PM

 Yep, I think you have.  Even so I don't think the budget has anaything to do with it.  Youdo need to start "fixing" yourself because no one is happy unless momma is happy.  Do what you have to do but don't dwell on it and get yourself all depressed. It will just hurt the kids.  You CAN find happiness with or without another man.  :)

AlannaMaria
by Alanna on Mar. 1, 2014 at 9:07 PM
Sorry to hear you're in this tough situation. I agree with the other ladies. Good luck
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