Should I tell the other woman's boyfriend about the affair?
Greetings all, I have been wrestling with an ethical question and I am seeking some advice. About a year ago I discovered that my husband had been having an affair - he left an email from his lover open on his phone and I found it. I was devastated and considered leaving but opted to stay and go to the marriage counselor - we have a two year old boy and I thought it was really important to try rebuild the relationship. Things have been slowly improving between my husband and I and I feel that my life overall is in a much better place.
When I found the email, of course it contained the other woman's name. Thanks to the magic of Facebook, I easily found her and also discovered that she was "in a relationship with" a guy. I considered emailing the guy but thought that perhaps I was still very raw from discovering the affair and thought it would be best not to do so - basically I thought my motive might be revenge so I opted not to do anything.
Fast forward to now - I feel that I've gotten over the initial pain of the affair and have healed somewhat. However, I still contemplate contacting this guy to tell him. I'm trying to examine my motives and think about what I would want someone to do if he discovered his girlfriend/wife was having an affair with my husband. On one hand, I'd be devastated to learn about it from someone I didn't know. On the other hand, I would also want to know the painful truth and not stay in a relationship that was based on distrust and lies.
Please advise. Thanks.