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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

How do you know when it's time to sacrifice your dream for your relationship and family?

Posted by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 8:59 AM
  • 9 Replies

My Wife & I Have Dreams That Are Hurting Our Marriage

by Corey Levitan

My wife slaves for 10 hours a day to pay our bills while I sit home, ignore the laundry, and share our life with strangers.

Putting her family's needs above her own sets a good example for our 3-year-old daughter. It demonstrates that sacrifice is noble. However, it also creates tension in the house.

My wife's dream was to produce TV. But cervical cancer at age 20 caused her to drop out of college and into a steady succession of legal clerical jobs to pay her medical bills.

Why should she be the one to give up everything?

Not counting high school jobs, I've never been anything but a journalist -- a skillset that, these days, makes me only slightly more marketable alive than dead.

Because my wife so unflinchingly supports my struggle to continue earning as a writer, I recently made a concession to her. I interviewed for a high-paying position I didn't want that would have forced me to give up this blog and all my other writing.

I didn't get the job. But the thing is, I don't know whether I really would have taken it if I did. You see, I'm setting an example for our daughter, too: If you are lucky enough to figure out what you really want to do in life, never give up on it.

The problem is, I'm not sure if that's a good example anymore.

How do you know when it's time to sacrifice your dream for your relationship and family?


by on Mar. 10, 2014 at 8:59 AM
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Replies (1-9):
BonitaM
by Platinum Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:13 AM

I can't imagine anything more important than my relationship and family.  I'd give anything and everything up for them.  I still chase my dreams but they will never come first.  I couldn't be with someone where a career or dream or anything else came before me.  I believe in chasing dreams and setting high standards and meeting goals but never at the expense of family or love.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Mar. 10, 2014 at 12:40 PM
Dreams and goals are wonderful. But not at the expense of my family.
AnGLInterrupted
by Kendall on Mar. 10, 2014 at 1:09 PM

You don't have to give up on your dreams for family.  Sometimes they get put on hold, sometimes they get modified and sometimes your dreams completely change but you shouldn't have to throw your dreams and wishes completely out the window.

HaileysMom07180
by Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 1:10 PM

you don't have to give up on them, they may have to be put on hold or take a little longer than planned when you have a family but don't just check it off just because you had a kid cuz when they grow up and leave your house, you will be left wondering what now?

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 1:16 PM

 I would give up the job I currently have, that I love, to keep my husband home with the family more. I think it's incredibly selfish what he's doing unless she's just totally cool with not seeing her daugther much. I couldn't be ok with that.

rockinmomto2
by Silver Member on Mar. 10, 2014 at 5:05 PM

I think that dreams change as we get older, but I also think that both partners deserve to follow their dreams. I think this article sets up a VERY poor example because this "journalist" sounds like an asshole. His wife is obviously frustrated with the fact that she has to take on menial and meaningless jobs while he gets to sit on his ass at home and wonder whether he would actually have taken a job (read:sacrificed his own dream) to enable his wife to follow her own dream. He seems incredibly selfish and self serving. No wonder there's "tension in the home".

la_bella_vita
by Bella on Mar. 10, 2014 at 11:04 PM

 I'm blessed that my dream does not interfere with my relatinoship with my husband or children. Nor do my husband's.

lulalacroix
by Bronze Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 3:11 AM

You simply decide which is more important in your life.  If both are equally important, then you try to compromise.

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Mar. 11, 2014 at 3:36 AM

 Thanks for posting

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