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how would you handle this situation?

Posted by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 10:15 PM
  • 21 Replies
When I found out I was pregnant with my daughter my SO told me he wanted to stop working after the baby was born, he told me when she was a year old I could start back working but he wanted to take care of her for the first year and I agreed.

My daughter will be one in may, I told him Monday that we need to start looking for daycare because I will be getting ready to go back to work soon as she turns one. He thinks that I am trying to rush it, I just feel that the year is almost up and I want to be comfortable going back to work knowing she is in a safe environment and is happy.

SO thinks I should just stay home with her until she is old enough to go to kindergarten or at least preschool. I told him that wasn't what we discussed before and she will be fine going to daycare my boys started at 10 months and are just fine.

It seems likes this is going to be a never ending argument. Am I in the wrong fir wanting for wanting to go back to work? If you were in my situation how would you handle it?
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 10:15 PM
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Replies (1-10):
addiesmommy1109
by Bronze Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 10:17 PM
Maybe start working part time or on opposite shifts? Kind of meet in the middle?
miaamor77
by on Mar. 12, 2014 at 10:24 PM
I don't think he will agree to that. I only agreed to stay home for the first year and I don't think it's right he is going back on his word now the year is almost up.

Quoting addiesmommy1109: Maybe start working part time or on opposite shifts? Kind of meet in the middle?
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Mar. 12, 2014 at 11:12 PM
It seems like he wanted you to stay home altogether?
I agree with addiesmommy sort of meet of the middle.
shadow_lark
by Silver Member on Mar. 12, 2014 at 11:17 PM
Im a little confused here...neither of you are working right now? He wanted to be a sahd , with you home for a year as well...then you would go back. But now He doesn t want you to work? So what is his alternate plan. Unless you've both got trust funds, one of you will have to work sooner or later .

Tbh with you, id say go back to work. A mom forced to be at home wont make a good stay at home mom. your happiness is essential yo the well being of your child, and if working makes you happy, then work. Your Dh can get over it or find some other compromise that does leave you in a place you don't want to be.
miaamor77
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 12:51 AM
I don't even think he would agree to that, even he did I wouldn't want to do it because I would have no time with boys they are in school all day so if I worked evening they would be sleep when Id get home.

Quoting Hottmomma607: It seems like he wanted you to stay home altogether?
I agree with addiesmommy sort of meet of the middle.
miaamor77
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 12:52 AM
No he works, he wanted me to stay at home with her for a year.

Quoting shadow_lark: Im a little confused here...neither of you are working right now? He wanted to be a sahd , with you home for a year as well...then you would go back. But now He doesn t want you to work? So what is his alternate plan. Unless you've both got trust funds, one of you will have to work sooner or later .

Tbh with you, id say go back to work. A mom forced to be at home wont make a good stay at home mom. your happiness is essential yo the well being of your child, and if working makes you happy, then work. Your Dh can get over it or find some other compromise that does leave you in a place you don't want to be.
Hottmomma607
by Trica on Mar. 13, 2014 at 1:07 AM
Oh!
Ok I hope you find a happy medium?


Quoting miaamor77: I don't even think he would agree to that, even he did I wouldn't want to do it because I would have no time with boys they are in school all day so if I worked evening they would be sleep when Id get home.

Quoting Hottmomma607: It seems like he wanted you to stay home altogether?
I agree with addiesmommy sort of meet of the middle.
ABCMomma0211
by on Mar. 13, 2014 at 1:11 AM
But sometimes thats what happens.

When i worked at walmart, i didnt see my dd....she was in daycare duing the day an i worked from 6pm-12am.....



Quoting miaamor77: I don't even think he would agree to that, even he did I wouldn't want to do it because I would have no time with boys they are in school all day so if I worked evening they would be sleep when Id get home.

Quoting Hottmomma607: It seems like he wanted you to stay home altogether?
I agree with addiesmommy sort of meet of the middle.
4kings1queen
by Bronze Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 2:47 AM
This. And daycares would be my last option. Too many hirror stories going on with daycare facilities. Good luck.

Quoting addiesmommy1109: Maybe start working part time or on opposite shifts? Kind of meet in the middle?
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Mar. 13, 2014 at 4:01 AM
We worked opposite shifts.
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