Been with my husband for 10 years and married almost 7 years. I have a dd from a previous relationship. She will be 12 this year. We have another dd we had together. She is 6. So you can see we have a lot of history together. I love my husband with all my heart.
The past few years have been rough though. I realized in November last year that I have been miserable. He's been taking me for granted. I don't feel loved at all. All I feel like i'm good for is sex. He's no longer romantic with me. (hasn't really been for 7 years) He has his moments when he is romantic, but they are few and far in between. We've been fighting and I dread to even see him most of the time.
December last year, he hurt his hand pretty bad and lost his job over it. We almost became homeless, but luckily we moved in with family so we have a place to live. He is technically unemployed now since his hand is healed, but working under the table for a friend of ours making a few bucks. I am working part time 2nd shift so we don't see each other much. We had a really nice vehicle. Had it paid off and everything. Now its broke down as of 3 days ago and we have no money to fix it.
I just had a long talk with him last night about how I feel towards him. He didn't even defend himself or anything. He just said that he will have his bags packed and moved out as soon as he can. I told him I don't want him to leave. That I want to work things out. He said he felt like I ripped his heart out. He asked me if I was leaving him for another man and I said no.
I told him if he doesn't change and make me feel like he actually wants to be with me, then I'm done. I told him i'm giving him 3 months to improve. If i'm still unhappy and he hasn't done anything different, then I am seriously calling it quits.
I feel like i'm at a crossroads with this cuz I really do love him. I keep holding out hope that he will be a better husband to me. He is a great father and when he has a steady job, a great provider too.
I don't know what to do. I don't mind being single again, but I don't know if I want to be divorced either. I told him I can't see him being with anyone else, having sex with anyone else or even having kids with someone else.
All I did after we talked was cry. I wish there was an easy way to fix all this. In the past, I have felt this same way. Unappreciated, unloved, etc. Every time I tell him the same thing, nothing changes. This time i'm about at the end of my rope. Not sure how much longer I can push on. I also don't want to have a broken family. (2 kids to 2 different men and not with either one. I don't even want more kids.)
I have tried many times over to have him go to conseling with me. Every time he refuses. So that is why we talk. What do you ladies think? Should I tough it out and wait the 3 months or call it quits now?