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Rocky start??

Posted by on Mar. 21, 2014 at 10:32 PM
  • 14 Replies

Anyone have a rocky start in their relationship with SO/DH?  Please share story...

The reason I pose this question is because my SO and I are trying to reconcile.  4.5 years and something keeps bringing us back together.  I am taking alot of heat from family and friends for considering trying again with him.  I know my friends and family have my best interest at heart but some seem to forget the rocky starts their own relationship had.  Some of them still not so good..

by on Mar. 21, 2014 at 10:32 PM
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by Emily on Mar. 21, 2014 at 10:38 PM

We actually broke up after dating a couple weeks. Dh mom yelled at him till we got back together.

by Member on Mar. 21, 2014 at 10:46 PM
2 moms liked this
Yes, we were young 16/17 when we got married. He was very controlling. I lost contact with family and friends bc of him. When I had our first son he was never around. I felt like a single mother. He was verbally abusive. After seven years I decided I had enough of his bs. I left him. by then I had three kids with him. It took a week for him to come look for us. He cried and begged me to come back home. I let him know how much he was damaging me. I was completely broken. He felt bad. He realized how much he hurt me. He promised to spend the rest of his life making it up to me. It took a while for me to believe him, but I have to say he's done a huge turn around. He's a better, happier man. I can say I've fallen in love with him all over again. 15yrs later, 4 kids later I'm very happily married.
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by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:00 AM

 we'd be here all day reading a 200pg novel  lol

by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:09 AM

 LOL in short are you happily married now and how long??

Quoting Brattzilla:

 we'd be here all day reading a 200pg novel  lol


by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:10 AM
My first year was tough just a little bit of everything
by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:25 AM

Not really.. the closest thing to a rocky start we had was more of a hesitant start... we met online dating and I had some dealbreakers that would cause me not to even go out for coffee with a guy. Todd and I were STRONGLY physically attracted to one another online photos and he only lived 1/2 hr away and wanted to go out on date with me and I did with him too and we both liked eachothers personalities and profiles and enjoyed deep in depth conversations from silly lighthearted stuff and humor to philosophy and spirituality and current events etc.  He admitted to me that he had been a bad alcoholic for about 4 yrs in his past but was VERY PROUD because he had been sober for over a year and knew he  would never go down that path again, as a matter of fact he  was doing so well, he was one of the 'bosses" at his job and he had full custody of his bio daughter and truly was/is an exceptional dad. 

THE ROCKY PART... was drinking is a dealbreaker for me so I was proud of him for his accomplishments but was scared that what if I fell in love with this guy and what if life throws us a hard curveball in future and he backslides into drinking again in future someday to  "cope" or escape his stress? I was very very hesitant to take that risk so  wouldnt even go out for coffee with him so I would not risk falling for a high risk guy. He was SO HURT, he had been open and honest and felt he was being punished for it.  I explained I didnt just have me to worry about, but my 4 kids would be effected to if I made a mistake.  He kept conversing with me regularily online and helping me with stuff and giving me good advice on issues that came up and talked to me on the phone for hours too... 

Another guy I had met online that he and I had more of a big brother little sister relationship,  and I told him EVERYTHING about everything like a best friend and he would give me great advice all the time, talked me into giving Todd ONE chance just to go out for coffee or to a movie, dinner, ice hockey something and then to follow my intutions which he knew was strong. So he talked me into it after 

THREE MONTHS of me talking to Todd online and on phone refusing to go on date due to his past the whole time... Todd still kept talking to me and not pressuring me at all. He was THRILLED my friend talked me into giving him one chance...

I am too, because it's been a happily ever after with us ever since (11 yrs ago ) : ) 

Other than that, no rocky start other than 6 mos into our relationship he was only 2 weeks away from being  deployed to Iraq and I was HYSTERICAL and so were the kids.. we were basket cases..... and then to our unexpected shock.. including Todds.. a jag officer pulled him aside and said he didnt feel he should go to complicated issues with his bio daughters safety and custody .. his going could put her in danger and also his good reasons to worry about that while deployed would distract his mind putting him and others at risk besides Amanda.. so he said FULL chain of command would have to agree he needed to stAY home and if one of them disagreed he would still have to go, one week before deployment we got word every one of them felt he should stay .. Me and kids and todd were so relieved and grateful but at same time Todd was emotional and felt guilty too because he felt he was letting his troops down and was worried about them but they were SOOOOO sweet and everyone of them comforted HIM and assured him they agreed with the decision and thankfullly they all did make it back home alive. 

View Full Size Image YVONNE

by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 12:13 PM

 We are very happy, been together 5yrs, married 1.5 months! haha

Quoting help1027:

 LOL in short are you happily married now and how long??

Quoting Brattzilla:

 we'd be here all day reading a 200pg novel  lol



 Signed "The Brat"

family in the van

by Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 12:25 PM

it sounds like you are asking people to tell you it is OK to ignore problems and warning signs - that there will be a fairy-tale ending despite this.

Only you know what is really going on here.  You have already been in a relationship with this person and needed to leave or move on.  Now you want to try agian... what has changed since the last time?  Did he or you go through counseling?  Join AA?  Address anger issues?  I don't know what the problems were the first time, but if there hasn't been some major work to address them the same things will be problems again.

In my experience, the choice of a supportive, loving, stable partner is the single biggest factor in having happy life.  Nothing else mattters as much.  All the money, houses, vacation, looks or romance will not make your life happy if your partner causes stress, anxiety or turmoil.

Please think about the long term and choose what will be a lasting healthy relationship for you.

by Silver Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:43 PM

rocky start-yes

good marriage-no

good relationship or friendship in general-no

by Trica on Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:53 PM
No. We had the typical learning each others ins&outs but rocky start, no.
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