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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Is this common, if so wth do I do to get through it??

Posted by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:03 AM
  • 11 Replies

I have to nag my husband for anything that involves me needing anything, which also includes any kind of one on one attention.(sex too)

would you just give up and just do it all your self?? this has been going on since he fell into a

depression after he got hurt at work and was out for 10 months. That was 2 years ago. Nothing has changed.

by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 1:03 AM
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Replies (1-10):
jonsgirl99
by Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 2:05 AM

BUMP!

petitekatie
by Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 3:29 AM

That wouldn't be ok with me. I would suggest counseling.

Brattzilla
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 7:58 AM

i think ages, and length of marriages may be a helpful factor.   Also I think maybe if you stop nagging, he may intiate..  If not, then go to a toy party, buy fancy showerhead (removable kind) become self sufficient lol

cntrdmom
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:01 AM
I went through the same thing. Is he working now? Is he still hurt? Is he on meds?
Also how long have you been together? How old are the kids? What does he do when he's not helping you?
Don't give up. Your marriage will quickly fall apart. If he's at a stage where he's unable to fight you have to fight for both if you and help him see his wake up call.
earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:10 AM

Often times people suffering from severe depression lose interest in everything even things they love, they lose motivation and incentive and drive... everything feels overwhelming even simple things... he needs help! Very possibly medication too, it can make a DRAMATIC difference that can feel like a miracle. He is  not expeirenceing any quality of life in this state either. It doesn't mean he doesnt want to be there for you or to do for you, he needs help. If they try him on a med and it doesnt work or he doesnt like side effects DO NOT GIVE UP.. tell the dr the truth about that and he or she can adjust dosage or try one of  MANY Others and one of them WILL help.. in some cases medication is enough but if dr feels therapy will help then encourage him to do that too. Make sure to approach him not in a way like you are judging him but that you are concerned and care and want better for him as an individual you  love and care about and are worried about and as a couple and family as well. 

Helping HIM will help YOU too. 

Good luck

View Full Size Image YVONNE

katiebug840204
by Bronze Member on Mar. 22, 2014 at 8:15 AM
Has he been put on any medicine to help him out of his funk?
deadlights86
by Emily on Mar. 22, 2014 at 9:28 AM

Has he seen a doctor or a therapist?

withsecond
by on Mar. 22, 2014 at 10:46 AM

Is he on meds? In therapy? If he's not doing both of those things, he needs to be. I understand depression. I've dealt with it for most of my life so I know it's difficult to get through but he has to at least try those two things. If he won't, then I wouldn't stick around. 

MomToovey
by Marianne on Mar. 22, 2014 at 5:35 PM

 It is normal for that to happen, however, it's not healthy and shouldn't go on that long. He may need to see a doctor (if he isn't already) and possibly a counselor to help with his depression. Once that's under control, things will start to be easier.

Is he unable to work at all? I know you said he's hurt. Not all injuries an invalid make, so I'm just trying to see if he can be looking for a new job? I'm willing to bet that getting out of the house regularly will help as well.

Good luck.

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Mar. 24, 2014 at 12:22 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this

Quoting earthangel1967:

Often times people suffering from severe depression lose interest in everything even things they love, they lose motivation and incentive and drive... everything feels overwhelming even simple things... he needs help! Very possibly medication too, it can make a DRAMATIC difference that can feel like a miracle. He is  not expeirenceing any quality of life in this state either. It doesn't mean he doesnt want to be there for you or to do for you, he needs help. If they try him on a med and it doesnt work or he doesnt like side effects DO NOT GIVE UP.. tell the dr the truth about that and he or she can adjust dosage or try one of  MANY Others and one of them WILL help.. in some cases medication is enough but if dr feels therapy will help then encourage him to do that too. Make sure to approach him not in a way like you are judging him but that you are concerned and care and want better for him as an individual you  love and care about and are worried about and as a couple and family as well. 

Helping HIM will help YOU too. 

Good luck


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