Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Husband Wants a Divorce; I'm 31 Weeks Pregnant....

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:14 AM
  • 49 Replies
Hi mommies, I'm going through a really hard time right now, and need some advice/similar experiences. My husband and I have a 19 month old daughter, and are pregnant with our second daughter. I'm 31 weeks. About a week ago, my husband revealed to me that he still feels guilty about having an emotional affair with a woman at work (2 years ago) and that the "fire" for me is gone for him. He says that every time he sees me, all he can see is a broken heart, and that he feels he has ruined our marriage. We have been married four years. I have forgiven him for all past digressions...and I don't know what to do. I'm terrified of losing my best friend. I'm not looking for name calling or harsh words, I love my husband...I just need some guidance.

by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:14 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
Maks1mommy
by Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:19 AM
2 moms liked this

Do somethings to show him that you love him.

My dad always told me that no matter what is going on or how mad you are at a person, do 3 nice things a day for them. Nothing extravagant, but simple things, like make his coffee, or take out the trash when it's his turn. Simple things like that and slowly he will start doing those things for you and then you will genuinely appreciate the things the other does and it will make it better.

I have been trying it and so far it seems to be working, my dh had an emotional affair, but I was the one that wanted him to leave. We are trying to work things out. It's a slow process but I feel like it's worth it.

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:19 AM
11 moms liked this

 Well he's probably still cheating. His "excuse" for wanting a divorce is flimsy at best. Get thee to marriage counseling!

scold-01
by Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:21 AM
1 mom liked this

Ask him if he would try marriage counseling before a break up. Remind him that you have forgiven him, and that you are very pregnant, and maybe thats why the fire in him for you has died down...sometimes counseling can bring back the old feelings they used to feel for us...reconnecting to the fire they once had.....

babie113
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:21 AM
I agree with this .im sorry op

Quoting furbabymum:

 Well he's probably still cheating. His "excuse" for wanting a divorce is flimsy at best. Get thee to marriage counseling!

rockinmomto2
by Silver Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:23 AM

Therapy and a very serious discussion about your feelings. Don't let him tell you how you're feeling, you need to tell him.

charley31
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:27 AM
2 moms liked this
I'm sorry you're going through this but it does sound like he's using his past to get out of the marriage prob because he is or has done something recent. To me it just sounds like an excuse to not man up to what he's been up to. He's turning it around on you instead of being a man. If when he looks at you and sees a broken heart perhaps he should try to make you happy. I don't mean to soud harsh this is just my opinion. Maybe to save your marriage try counseling. But if he won't go or try anything and just blame you than easier for me to say, let him go. Again I'm so sorry you're going through this. He needs to be supportive an loving to you ESP since you're pregnant. Good luck.
ladybugchick317
by Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:28 AM

 Maybe some counseling and maybe start "dating" again. reconnect

cpenney13
by New Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:29 AM


Quoting scold-01:

Ask him if he would try marriage counseling before a break up. Remind him that you have forgiven him, and that you are very pregnant, and maybe thats why the fire in him for you has died down...sometimes counseling can bring back the old feelings they used to feel for us...reconnecting to the fire they once had.....

I have suggested couseling, but we don't have the money to pay $80-120 a session. We have had a couple very long and very intense conversations, and so far the only thing that has improved is that he is willing to take a "break" instead of just getting a divorce. 

Brattzilla
by Bronze Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:30 AM

He is still cheating.  Sorry to say. 

cpenney13
by New Member on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:31 AM


Quoting charley31: I'm sorry you're going through this but it does sound like he's using his past to get out of the marriage prob because he is or has done something recent. To me it just sounds like an excuse to not man up to what he's been up to. He's turning it around on you instead of being a man. If when he looks at you and sees a broken heart perhaps he should try to make you happy. I don't mean to soud harsh this is just my opinion. Maybe to save your marriage try counseling. But if he won't go or try anything and just blame you than easier for me to say, let him go. Again I'm so sorry you're going through this. He needs to be supportive an loving to you ESP since you're pregnant. Good luck.

I want to tell him this so bad, that if he sees a broken heart, maybe try to mend it instead of running away from it...but I'm scared that me being harsh (as much as I want to be) will just deter him from talking about this altogether. I know I shouldn't keep someone toxic in mine and my children's lives, but I do love him, and I'm scared to see him go.

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)