Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Sleep Talking

Posted by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:36 PM
  • 10 Replies

I have a question for the group. My boyfriend has told me on several occasions that I talk in my sleep. And what I say are the names of some of my ex's. One name keeps being repeated. If this was just a one time occurrence I would not be as concerned as I am. It is causing issues in our relationship. He thinks that I am calling him their names and that I could be cheating. I have been faithful and would never even consider cheating on someone. I don't know if it is because I am dreaming or if it is something else. I know that the one name that keeps coming up, I had a really bad separation from and it was even abusive. I do not know if it is my minds way of sorting through everything that had happened or what is going on. I just do not want this to cause a problem in our relationship. If anyone has any advice or help with this it would be greatly be appreciated.

by on Mar. 25, 2014 at 11:36 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
abt1019
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:30 AM

You might want to see a therapist to discuss your previous abusive relationship to sort out any unresolved emotion. 

I talk in my sleep, too, but only when I have nightmares or dreams about negative things. My therapists just consider it unresolved conflict so my mind keeps bringing it up.

Good luck! if it continues to bother him you might want to go to a couples session just to ease his mind a bit and let him express himself in a safe environment. 

Mum-2-3-girls
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 1:28 AM

they say u dream of the things u r scared of...get counseling hugs sweetie

swatt0428
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 4:31 AM
That makes sense. I'm just worried that he will not understand. Everytime it happens we end up in a big fight. I just feel like I'm being accused of doing something that I'm not so i get defensive, which i know does not help the situation. And as for still having feelings for him, the relationship ended over a year ago, it was about a six month relationship. I am afraid of my ex. Had a restraining order on him ( he threatened to kill me if he could not have me). So I know I have some things to resolve there. Most all of my relationships have been abusive in some way. Except for the one I'm in now. And I'm afraid because of this I'm going to lose him.
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 5:14 AM

 Does HE know you've been in abusive relationships? If he does, then he needs to grow up and get over it. Counseling/therapy for you past issues would be great. A smack upside the head for the current bf would be great too. I suspect he's not a keeper though, if he acts like this. Hugs. Good luck

myloveismyfaith
by Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 7:59 AM
Not to be a pessimist, as I only know the arguing part, just make sure you don't settle in a relationship where he distrusts you because its finally not abusive. I would definitely seek some counseling to help let go of your abusive past, but I would have a serious conversation with him. It's not a matter of leftover feelings, but fear and rather than be accusatory and argumentative, he should try to help you cope and calm down. What you need is support and comfort, not added stress. Can you remember the dreams when you say their names?

Quoting swatt0428: That makes sense. I'm just worried that he will not understand. Everytime it happens we end up in a big fight. I just feel like I'm being accused of doing something that I'm not so i get defensive, which i know does not help the situation. And as for still having feelings for him, the relationship ended over a year ago, it was about a six month relationship. I am afraid of my ex. Had a restraining order on him ( he threatened to kill me if he could not have me). So I know I have some things to resolve there. Most all of my relationships have been abusive in some way. Except for the one I'm in now. And I'm afraid because of this I'm going to lose him.
swatt0428
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 8:02 AM
No I have no memory of the dreams. I never do.
mamamiajk
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 12:44 PM

No advice really but I am a big sleep talker. I shouted out my EXs name a few times in the past and MY SO was furious.I actually remember my dreams especially when they are that vivid. I woke up shaking because I was dreaming he was choking me and it was all too real. Tell SO to chill......it was ONLY a dream.

Krysden
by Platinum Member on Mar. 26, 2014 at 1:57 PM

If he will let something you say in your SLEEP, cause issues then it may be time to move on.   You said that he thinks you could be cheating because of this?  If he already has that in his head, odds are good it will just get worse.

swatt0428
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 2:16 PM
I just found out its not only their names but he says I am moaning so he believes they are sexual. I wish I could remember.
Texasladybug84
by on Mar. 26, 2014 at 4:16 PM
When I left my xdh and got with current hubby I would attack him in my sleep. He would wake up with a busted lip or scratches. I asked him to wake me up when I do that and he did once and I wasps so confused why he was waking me up for. I finally stopped but this was for the first year. I was pissed at someone lol
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)