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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

The 1 Thing You Need to Stop Doing to Have a Good Relationship

Posted by on Apr. 2, 2014 at 8:40 AM
  • 14 Replies

The 1 Thing You Need to Stop Doing to Have a Good Relationship

by Jenny Erikson

There are about a zillion little tips and tricks for making relationships work, and it seems like there's a new study every other day proclaiming to have found the secret to forever love. You've heard them before ... have more sex, divy up the chores evenly, share interests, agree about money, etc.

But really, the root of every relationship problem can be solved by one thing: Stop being a selfish jerk.

That's right. Just stop it, stop it right now. Did you have a long day at work? Guess what, your wife did too and she made dinner, so that means you're on dishes duty.

And ladies, are you exhausted from the work-life balance, or touched out from little people crawling all over you all day? Don't be a selfish jerk and refuse your husband in the bedroom. He's tired too from the daily grind. And dudes! If you constantly demand sex without loving your wife in other ways, you're being a selfish jerk! Stop it already.

Arguing about whether to spend the bonus money on a vacation or a home improvement? Stop thinking about yourself for a second and look at it from your spouses perspective. Don't immediately discount their thoughts, ideas, desires, and dreams. That way you can compromise and find a solution that works for both of you.

The secret to making a marriage work is as simple as it is difficult to accomplish. Just simply care for and care about one another. And when you are inevitably a selfish jerk, make it up to your partner somehow.

Unless you both stop acting like selfish jerks, the relationship is going to break down. Forever love is a two-way street, and you can't get there if only one of you is driving.

Do you think more couples would be happy if both partners stopped being selfish jerks?

by on Apr. 2, 2014 at 8:40 AM
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Replies (1-10):
ladyvamp5489
by Bronze Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 9:14 AM

 WOW, Im glad and soo lucky my hubby is not a "selfish jerk", he actually helps  me with meals when he can and all the housework, hes a gem and is very caring when im sick. BUT we have a great relationship, dont fight, hold hands still, all this even after almost 18 years of marriage!

BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 9:14 AM

Yes, yes I do. 

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Apr. 2, 2014 at 9:17 AM

Yes I do think that.  

Todd and I are both always doing everything we can think of to spoil and  show our love for one another and make the other one feel like the most important person ever born and constantly trying to think of even more and new ways to express that.  We are beyond happy, we are both  spoiled rotten lol 

 View Full Size Image YVONNE

furbabymum
by on Apr. 2, 2014 at 11:44 AM

 Agreed. Selfish jerks suck! lol

mrsfitz05
by on Apr. 2, 2014 at 1:31 PM

 I think ultimately selfishness - on the part of at least one partner -  is the root of most marriage problems. Sometimes it's both partners being selfish but it only takes one to destroy love!

LeKendria
by Member on Apr. 2, 2014 at 2:08 PM
Great article...right on point.
rockinmomto2
by on Apr. 2, 2014 at 2:54 PM
1 mom liked this

I think this article, while well meaning, kind of misses the mark. It's more about being uncaring and unempathetic. A healthy amount of selfishness is imperative in any functioning relationship. If you're constantly selfless, you're not going to be happy.

jennifertaylorh
by on Apr. 2, 2014 at 6:53 PM

Amen Amen Amen

sammybear31
by on Apr. 2, 2014 at 10:52 PM

 great advice!

Brattzilla
by on Apr. 3, 2014 at 8:19 AM

probably, but I dont have this problem.  There are times, when he can get a bit selfish, but hey so can I.

Overall, we are givers i this marriage. 

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