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I recently found out that my husband has be chatting with and flirting with several different women online. I don't know what to think about this is it something I bring up to him or just let it go. What would you do if it was your husband and he was doing the same thing?

So I did bring it up with him and we had a long talk about what was going on and I really don't know what to say but he said he didn't realize what he was doing and would stop. I really don't know how to feel or what to think about that.
by on Apr. 12, 2014 at 6:58 PM
Replies (11-20):
by Marianne on Apr. 12, 2014 at 10:07 PM

 I'm glad you were able to talk to him, but...he didn't realize what he was doing? Umm...ok. I guess I can see that. I mean, without knowing the content of his messages and only going off of what you say, it's possible that your definition of flirting and his are different, and perhaps it wasn't blazingly obvious to the casual observer. In that case, sure. And now that he knows your definition of flirting, he can back off. But...if it's really obvious, I mean, blantant talk about their feelings for each other or other sexual content, then he's lying. And that's a no-no for me.

by Silver Member on Apr. 13, 2014 at 5:41 PM

Hubby and I are going through this as well.  At the beginning of the year, I hacked his phone as he was acting suspiciously and found out.  We talked, went to counseling. 

by Silver Member on Apr. 13, 2014 at 7:30 PM

Tell him how you feel.

by Melissa on Apr. 13, 2014 at 7:39 PM
1 mom liked this

Umm.. calling BS on the whole "he didn't know what he was doing" 

He knew damn well that he was flirting..

Better watch him for a while to make sure he doesn't slip back into that pattern. 

by Gold Member on Apr. 13, 2014 at 7:45 PM
Ahyepp... i call BS on that too.
by Platinum Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 12:07 PM

All you can do is talk to your husband about how you feel. It is up to him to change his behavior

by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 12:24 PM
Once a cheater... Even if it is only online. He won't stop but will just get better at it.
you really have to think about if you want to be wondering about this all the time
by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 3:11 PM

He didnt know what he was doing? You have got to be kidding right? And you believe him? Oh hunny, he will do it again, just next time he will hide it a little better. Go make a fake account and start talking to him as another women, that will give you all the answers you need right there. 

by Member on Apr. 14, 2014 at 3:43 PM

I had about as many married men contact me as single after I got divorced. I was shocked and naive I guess. They weren't really going to leave their wives although they tried to tell me the relationship was in name only. It's starts off innocently enough. There is some reason they need to get her number or send her a text. She replies "thanks!" Then one of them says something back to not be abrupt and then the chat takes off from there. I think the common thread was simply looking for a little fresh flirting and feeling young and/or desirable by someone different again. Same thing happened to my sister. I'm remarried now but I tell you nothing surprises me anymore about men, and I am pretty jealous of any texts to my husband now, even from his older unattractive boss.  I hope he gives it up but I would keep an eye on things. Oh, and their buddies usually condone it or are doing it too, so they all rationalize it's harmless together I guess.

by on Apr. 14, 2014 at 4:41 PM

How can he not know what he was doing? That sounds like a bullshit cop out for getting caught. 

I'd be keeping my eyes wide open with that one. 

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