Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

DH doesn't last....sensitive subject

Posted by on Apr. 12, 2014 at 7:51 PM
  • 31 Replies

I feel horrible even posting this publicly, but at the same time I'm also very frustrated. So here it is...

My DH cannot last at all during sex. I'm talking literally 5 pumps or so and he comes. This has been going on for 6+ years. Of course he tries his hardest to please me in other ways, like more foreplay, we've added toys, etc. Yes, toys are fun sometimes but I'll be honest--I want actual, real f**king too! And for more than 10 seconds!  It's to the point that I actually don't even want to bother most nights because it takes longer for me to undress than the penetration lasts. 

I feel like I can't say anything anymore because we've talked about it already a lot in the past and nothing changes. I don't want to hurt his feelings and make him even more sensitive about it. He went to a doctor several years ago (when he got sick of me trying to gently suggest it). The doctor wasn't very concerned, saying it's very common. But he gave DH an rx for Levitra.....it didn't work. 

So here we are, years later, still in the same boat. He knows I get frustrated but I no longer say anything anymore. 

I know ppl will ask so I will mention: he is only 36, he's not obese(he's about 20 lbs overweight), doesn't smoke, and he's healthy. I guess I just need to talk to you ladies bc there's really nothing else I can do. =(


by on Apr. 12, 2014 at 7:51 PM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 7:55 PM
5 moms liked this

Try using condoms.  DH hates them because they make him less sensitive.  There's also a desensitizing lotion you can get from adamandeve.com.  Good luck.  I'm sorry that must be frustrating for both of you.

 

rfhsure
by Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 7:57 PM
1 mom liked this
This is what I was going to recommend. And honestly, practice. Have your dh masturbate and practice 'holding it'. Sorry you're feeling with that, I would be frustrated too.

Quoting BonitaM:

Try using condoms.  DH hates them because they make him less sensitive.  There's also a desensitizing lotion you can get from adamandeve.com.  Good luck.  I'm sorry that must be frustrating for both of you.


 

cntrdmom
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 7:59 PM
So his testosterone levels are fine? How's his diet?
Have you tried cock rings or sleeves? How often are you having sex? Usually I don't want to be touched during my period so by the time it's over we've went a week without sex and dh usually has to get a few out of his system to get back to lasting a long time. The more we have sex the longer he can last.
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 8:11 PM
1 mom liked this
ugh. Frustrating...yes. good luck.
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 8:11 PM
My guy is the same way. The first time ever, four thrusts and that was it. Its not a subject Ive brought up with him though. Frustrating...yes. good luck.
BabyLove777
by New Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 8:25 PM

They were fine before, maybe he's needs it tested again. But it's so difficult to talk about. 

Quoting cntrdmom: So his testosterone levels are fine? How's his diet? Have you tried cock rings or sleeves? How often are you having sex? Usually I don't want to be touched during my period so by the time it's over we've went a week without sex and dh usually has to get a few out of his system to get back to lasting a long time. The more we have sex the longer he can last.


JC2223
by Bronze Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 8:25 PM
1 mom liked this

Is he able maintain an erection after orgasming or get another erection shortly after? If so let him get the first one done, then start again. Try things that will desensitize him. Practice restraint with him, get him to the point just before he would finish and then stop for a few minutes. This could help him build control. If he's been cleared medically, maybe see a sex therapist.

rockinmomto2
by on Apr. 12, 2014 at 8:31 PM

Try cock rings. They help stave off orgasm. There are also certain types of numbing creams that can help. Also, work with him WHILE having sex to help him understand his body and how he can actually physically control how/when he orgasms. 

jamamama00
by Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 8:34 PM
I think I might be a minute woman. I'm the same way lol. Anyway, I had a friend get divorced over this. Not just this...but it played a big part:/
steffielou_who
by Silver Member on Apr. 12, 2014 at 8:35 PM
I say try a cock ring.. You would be surprise at how that will make a difference!
Posted on CafeMom Mobile
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN