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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

sex problems. help!? UPDATE

Posted by on Apr. 20, 2014 at 9:15 AM
  • 18 Replies
My fiancé is a over the road truck driver and is only home sat night - Monday morning. We have a great relationship and really no issues until here recently. When he comes in he wants sex all the time! And I don't mean every night. I can handle that but he wants to like 3 times a day every time he's in and it's starting to really bother me. It starts as soon as I pick him up the second we get home he is already trying to get me to. He just don't understand that I am not like this and now I am starting to feel my emotional needs arnt being met because I can't even show him affection like cuddling on the couch without him trying to make a move on me and that just turns me off even more.


Idk what to do, we do have sex about every night he is in but apperantly that is not enough. I'm just so busy threw the week because we just had our second baby 3 months ago and she is exclusively breastfed we also have our other little girl who is 3 and then my son who is 2. All the housework and taking care of the children falls on me when he is gone. On top of all the errands and grocery shopping doctors appointments and breastfeeding. Plus being alone with him gone is hard emotionally threw the week so when he is home I need I guess that comfort and emotional support from him. It's different getting emotional support from him when he is home than threw a cell phone.

He just don't understand how much him wanting to have sex and always trying to just turns me off even more. It makes me feel just Idk disrespected? I could understand if I never had sex with him but 3-4 times a weekend is decent I think.



UPDATE: I talked it out to him. He said he never met to make me feel that way. He just is so attracted to me and love that connection we feel. I told him I do to. But I also like just being able to show him affection without it being sexuall all the time. Since then it's been great! And we watched a movie together last night and I even put the move on him lol. One thing we have always been is open with feeling and talking things out. Communication is a deff key to a successful relationship.
by on Apr. 20, 2014 at 9:15 AM
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Replies (1-10):
4kings1queen
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 10:26 AM
Just try to understand thats the type attention he wants. Maybe he miss you so much that he has to have a piece of you everyday. How long is he normally home for? Explain to him that you are sore and need a day or two just to get back to normal before y'all start back up again. Try giving him oral so that way he will be satisfied.
amberNewman0213
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 11:02 AM
1 mom liked this
I get the attention he wants. But sex is not suppose to do something I feel violated about. It's not like he don't get it. We have sex ever day when he is home. But he wants it 3 times a day and I just am too busy. Plus I don't want to give into his every need for it like I'm so toy for him. I'm his fiancé not a live in hooker

Quoting 4kings1queen: Just try to understand thats the type attention he wants. Maybe he miss you so much that he has to have a piece of you everyday. How long is he normally home for? Explain to him that you are sore and need a day or two just to get back to normal before y'all start back up again. Try giving him oral so that way he will be satisfied.
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Apr. 20, 2014 at 4:37 PM
1 mom liked this

Can you do something long distance.. like phone sex? Get him a "toy" to use for while he is gone? Send him racy photos during the week...

He is containing all that sexual energy all week JUST for you!! LOL Help him wear it off during the week. 


Fayanne
by Gold Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 5:29 PM
Has he always been like that?
booaura
by Bronze Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 7:18 PM
Talk to him, tell him how you feel.
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Racheldp20
by Member on Apr. 20, 2014 at 8:05 PM

You're just going to have to talk it out with him. You shouldn't have to feel pressured into it, and he should be more considerate of you having so much on your plate...sex and physical touch may be his main love language but I can totally understand you feeling used and disrespected here. Sex shouldn't be the main or only facet of a relationship. You really have to have a frank, but kind and loving conversation with him about it. Communication is key.

Butterfly_xo
by Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 3:04 AM

I can understand where you're coming from. You guys are def having plenty of sex lol If I were in your shoes, I guess I would feel the same way. I def like to cuddle and talk and if DH only wanted to have sex with me then I would start to feel like the relationship was becoming a little "one-note". But honestly, I don't think I would change anything. Since you guys don't see each other and that seems to be what he wants right now, then I would just give it to him without saying anything- even if it bothers you. I'm 35 weeks pregnant and throughout this whole pregnancy, I haven't been super horny like I usually am. Sometimes he turns me off but I would never deny him because sex is super important to a man. And as long as he's getting it from you, ya know ? I would get a little tired of having sex more than twice a day a few days in a row though.... but still I wouldn't even know how to address it. I'm sorry you feel this way...... I wish I could help more. But whatever you do, don't deny him. It could potentially piss him off or hurt his feelings....

feminista
by Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 3:54 AM

I can so relate to the feeling of being put off by constant attempts to have sex, it makes EVERY single action feel like a ploy to have sex and it's awful. It got to the point where my skin would crawl when my ex touched me.

You're going to have to talk about it with him though, there's no other way I'm afraid. Tell him you feel harrassed and uncomfortable by his constant demands and that you feel like he doesn't value you in other ways. Mismatched sex drives can be tricky but you should never have to feel stalked in your own home!

Trevorsmommy1
by Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 2:17 PM

So glad to hear its going better! So often i get upset, when i should just communicate better..good job :)

Kaaden
by Member on Apr. 21, 2014 at 4:01 PM

Glad you guys had a 'happy ending' hehe.  

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