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How can I get my husband to talk to me... PIOG, really need advice

Posted by on May. 4, 2014 at 7:32 PM
  • 10 Replies

We have 3 children already, two are from a previous relationship of mine and their father and I have shared custody so they spend 6 days with him and 8 days with me. We have a son together who will be 2 on Saturday. We haven't prevented another pregnancy since he was born (we struggled for 14 months to get pregnant and STAY pregnant with him), unless you count breastfeeding. I have some female hormone issues, causing my periods to be very difficult, to keep a long story short, and we started the Clomid pills to officially TTC again one year ago, we switched to Femara a few months ago. I have done more testing, dh did a sperm analysis and everything checks out fine. We just are not having any luck. The next step is IUI and DH isn't fully on board. I don't want to go through too much extra to get pregnant, since we already have 3, but we have both said we would like another one. 

The problem is, if I am not on ovulation pills, I have bleeding/spotting for about 20 days a month. My dr and I have talked and have decided that if we are for sure done having kids, then she is okay with doing a partial hysterictomy (sp?). 

So, I am trying to explain to DH, that I would like to try the IUI a few times this summer before I am comfortable with finally giving up and just doing the hysterictomy, however he thinks we should just keep doing everything the old fashion way and see if it happens, and every time I bring it up he gets upset and says he doesn't want to talk about it and that if I keep "shoving it down his throat" that he will just say forget the whole thing. At this point, I only bring it up whenever I get a new update from the DR. He doesn't realize we just can't keep trying forever because of my health issues and he doesn't seem to fully realize how much I suffer during my periods. 

He is a great guy, I just can't get him to talk to me about this certain subject, I think he feels like he will be less of a man if he can't do it the old fashioned way.

*Wife to Joel since 10-2-10*
*Mother of Addyson, Karder & Everett *
*Angel Babies 1/19/11 & 4/23/11*

by on May. 4, 2014 at 7:32 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Acid
by on May. 4, 2014 at 9:27 PM
3 moms liked this

Some men are uncomfortable with period talk and fertility talk.

IF he won't talk to you, then write him an email, or a letter or send a long text. 

Often times it's easier to write out your feelings than to speak them.  You can't get away from an email or a letter.

Good Luck

earthangel1967
by on May. 5, 2014 at 2:17 AM

I agree with this  and if he feels uncomfortable talking  about it .. maybe hopefullly he will write back more openly than  he  is  talking. 

Good  luck!

Quoting Acid:

Some men are uncomfortable with period talk and fertility talk.

IF he won't talk to you, then write him an email, or a letter or send a long text. 

Often times it's easier to write out your feelings than to speak them.  You can't get away from an email or a letter.

Good Luck


 View Full Size Image YVONNE

rockinmomto2
by on May. 5, 2014 at 7:13 AM

Have him come in to see the doctor with you, and have your doctor explain to him what exactly is going on with you. 

3xangel
by Silver Member on May. 5, 2014 at 7:15 AM
This. Sometimes it takes them having to hear it from someone else.

Quoting rockinmomto2:

Have him come in to see the doctor with you, and have your doctor explain to him what exactly is going on with you. 

la-cosa-nostra
by on May. 5, 2014 at 7:37 AM

I agree with this. 

Quoting rockinmomto2:

Have him come in to see the doctor with you, and have your doctor explain to him what exactly is going on with you. 


mrs.hartman12
by on May. 5, 2014 at 9:37 AM
When ever my dh and I are having trouble talking we talk on the phone. I agree with having the doctor explain too.
furbabymum
by on May. 5, 2014 at 11:27 AM

 Well I'm the "smack him over the head with a hammer" kind of communicator. :) So I'd sit my DH down and tell him, "Look, I don't know what is going on with you but you need to decide if you want another baby. If you do we are doing IUI. If you do not I am getting a partial hysterectomy and that's it. My health is more important than your wishy washy attitude."

addykarder19
by on May. 5, 2014 at 9:00 PM
I've actually did this.. But then I get emotional about NEVER having another baby :( that's why I want to explore our options first :(

Quoting furbabymum:

 Well I'm the "smack him over the head with a hammer" kind of communicator. :) So I'd sit my DH down and tell him, "Look, I don't know what is going on with you but you need to decide if you want another baby. If you do we are doing IUI. If you do not I am getting a partial hysterectomy and that's it. My health is more important than your wishy washy attitude."

addykarder19
by on May. 5, 2014 at 9:05 PM
He has been to the Dr with me, he knows everything that is wrong and sees me struggle every month for almost 2 weeks with my period.. It was a struggle to get him to do the sperm analysis, I think it's a not feeling manly issue

Quoting rockinmomto2:

Have him come in to see the doctor with you, and have your doctor explain to him what exactly is going on with you. 

Krysden
by Platinum Member on May. 7, 2014 at 12:26 PM
1 mom liked this

Hi there.   I don't know what all you've looked into or tried.  Have you ever heard of Vitex?   It's herbal and from what I've read has a pretty good track record at regulating hormones & cycles.  It may be worth looking into at least.  :)

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