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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

well that talk didnt work

Posted by on May. 5, 2014 at 9:57 PM
  • 33 Replies
Lovely...I had a talk with dh because he is really mad at me and I just made it 100 times worse. He had no reason to be mad in the first place....he said I wasn't showing him enough appreciation for my new car...anyway now he is more pissed than ever. Am I the only one that can never say things right? I can write it out but when it comes to talking I totally suck!
by on May. 5, 2014 at 9:57 PM
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Replies (1-10):
ER-momma
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 9:58 PM
What'd you say/do to make him feel that way to begin with and what'd you say that made it worse?
Runner36
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:05 PM
Well I told him what I thought he said / meant and he got mad that I miss understood him. Then he got mad that I brought up an example of him getting upset about our differences... I was calling him shallow and to get away from him. I'm not very good at explaining myself and he gets really mad when I say stuff he doesn't like...not a whole lot of open mindedness or good communication. He is a yeller and I am not at all...anyway right now he thinks I don't appreciate him and that he is shallow...and frankly he thinks I need to reward him with sex for my new car...uhhhh..I am not a hooker...

Quoting ER-momma: What'd you say/do to make him feel that way to begin with and what'd you say that made it worse?
ER-momma
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:07 PM
Well how did you show him you're appreciative of the car? Guess I should ask, are you?

Quoting Runner36: Well I told him what I thought he said / meant and he got mad that I miss understood him. Then he got mad that I brought up an example of him getting upset about our differences... I was calling him shallow and to get away from him. I'm not very good at explaining myself and he gets really mad when I say stuff he doesn't like...not a whole lot of open mindedness or good communication. He is a yeller and I am not at all...anyway right now he thinks I don't appreciate him and that he is shallow...and frankly he thinks I need to reward him with sex for my new car...uhhhh..I am not a hooker...

Quoting ER-momma: What'd you say/do to make him feel that way to begin with and what'd you say that made it worse?
Runner36
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:12 PM
Oh yes!!! Very appreciative... I thanked him and told him how much I loved it. He said that I could have at least given him a bj and been like...yeah...that's my man. We are equal partners and I appreciate him and everything he does for us and our kids. But I don't think I need to give him sex just because he bought a car...one we both discussed and agreed on. It wasn't like an out of the blue thing...we traded in our huge gas guzzler on something more economical.

Quoting ER-momma: Well how did you show him you're appreciative of the car? Guess I should ask, are you?

Quoting Runner36: Well I told him what I thought he said / meant and he got mad that I miss understood him. Then he got mad that I brought up an example of him getting upset about our differences... I was calling him shallow and to get away from him. I'm not very good at explaining myself and he gets really mad when I say stuff he doesn't like...not a whole lot of open mindedness or good communication. He is a yeller and I am not at all...anyway right now he thinks I don't appreciate him and that he is shallow...and frankly he thinks I need to reward him with sex for my new car...uhhhh..I am not a hooker...

Quoting ER-momma: What'd you say/do to make him feel that way to begin with and what'd you say that made it worse?
ER-momma
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:22 PM
I agree 100% sex shouldn't be his payment for getting you something. If you wanted to give him a bj that's one thing but he shouldn't feel is owed to him.

Since you are appreciative and everything was just a misunderstanding, I suggest doing something special for him. A romantic dinner or whatever he enjoys and just let him know you love him and appreciate all he does. Apologize for the misunderstanding and for making him feel unappreciated.

Hopefully he'll see your effort and remember why he fell in love with you!

Quoting Runner36: Oh yes!!! Very appreciative... I thanked him and told him how much I loved it. He said that I could have at least given him a bj and been like...yeah...that's my man. We are equal partners and I appreciate him and everything he does for us and our kids. But I don't think I need to give him sex just because he bought a car...one we both discussed and agreed on. It wasn't like an out of the blue thing...we traded in our huge gas guzzler on something more economical.

Quoting ER-momma: Well how did you show him you're appreciative of the car? Guess I should ask, are you?

Quoting Runner36: Well I told him what I thought he said / meant and he got mad that I miss understood him. Then he got mad that I brought up an example of him getting upset about our differences... I was calling him shallow and to get away from him. I'm not very good at explaining myself and he gets really mad when I say stuff he doesn't like...not a whole lot of open mindedness or good communication. He is a yeller and I am not at all...anyway right now he thinks I don't appreciate him and that he is shallow...and frankly he thinks I need to reward him with sex for my new car...uhhhh..I am not a hooker...

Quoting ER-momma: What'd you say/do to make him feel that way to begin with and what'd you say that made it worse?
sfigu16
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:24 PM
Oh my...did he really say that?!

Quoting Runner36: Oh yes!!! Very appreciative... I thanked him and told him how much I loved it. He said that I could have at least given him a bj and been like...yeah...that's my man. We are equal partners and I appreciate him and everything he does for us and our kids. But I don't think I need to give him sex just because he bought a car...one we both discussed and agreed on. It wasn't like an out of the blue thing...we traded in our huge gas guzzler on something more economical.

Quoting ER-momma: Well how did you show him you're appreciative of the car? Guess I should ask, are you?

Quoting Runner36: Well I told him what I thought he said / meant and he got mad that I miss understood him. Then he got mad that I brought up an example of him getting upset about our differences... I was calling him shallow and to get away from him. I'm not very good at explaining myself and he gets really mad when I say stuff he doesn't like...not a whole lot of open mindedness or good communication. He is a yeller and I am not at all...anyway right now he thinks I don't appreciate him and that he is shallow...and frankly he thinks I need to reward him with sex for my new car...uhhhh..I am not a hooker...

Quoting ER-momma: What'd you say/do to make him feel that way to begin with and what'd you say that made it worse?
Runner36
by Bronze Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:28 PM
Yes...he thinks sex is payment for him buying me things...that I should show my appreciation that way. Then when I call him on it I am the bad guy....I am so tired of always being the wrong one. I believe it is a two way street but he thinks he is perfect. And yes he said that it I shouldn't try to turn anything around to try and make our issues his fault. I just want to work together for the sake of our kids..but its getting harder and harder: (

Quoting sfigu16: Oh my...did he really say that?!

Quoting Runner36: Oh yes!!! Very appreciative... I thanked him and told him how much I loved it. He said that I could have at least given him a bj and been like...yeah...that's my man. We are equal partners and I appreciate him and everything he does for us and our kids. But I don't think I need to give him sex just because he bought a car...one we both discussed and agreed on. It wasn't like an out of the blue thing...we traded in our huge gas guzzler on something more economical.

Quoting ER-momma: Well how did you show him you're appreciative of the car? Guess I should ask, are you?

Quoting Runner36: Well I told him what I thought he said / meant and he got mad that I miss understood him. Then he got mad that I brought up an example of him getting upset about our differences... I was calling him shallow and to get away from him. I'm not very good at explaining myself and he gets really mad when I say stuff he doesn't like...not a whole lot of open mindedness or good communication. He is a yeller and I am not at all...anyway right now he thinks I don't appreciate him and that he is shallow...and frankly he thinks I need to reward him with sex for my new car...uhhhh..I am not a hooker...

Quoting ER-momma: What'd you say/do to make him feel that way to begin with and what'd you say that made it worse?
cbear2
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:30 PM
Write him a letter and set things straight. As for.expecting sex as payment maybe.say something along the lines of well that was on my to do list untill u made it payment, n that whem iys no longer a payment youll be eager to get on with.that thought. This.way it gives him the.f off he.earned and yet tells.him u didnt n havent wrote off sex.
sfigu16
by Member on May. 5, 2014 at 10:34 PM
Oh wow :( no one should be treated this way!

I'm assuming this has been going on for a while?
Damn, I feel for you. Message me if you just need ti let some steam off

And you are not wrong. How can you be?! Are you pissed? I would be. Asking for sexual favors, get out of here! Take your car back

Oh man *sigh* what do YOU want to do?


Quoting Runner36: Yes...he thinks sex is payment for him buying me things...that I should show my appreciation that way. Then when I call him on it I am the bad guy....I am so tired of always being the wrong one. I believe it is a two way street but he thinks he is perfect. And yes he said that it I shouldn't try to turn anything around to try and make our issues his fault. I just want to work together for the sake of our kids..but its getting harder and harder: (

Quoting sfigu16: Oh my...did he really say that?!

Quoting Runner36: Oh yes!!! Very appreciative... I thanked him and told him how much I loved it. He said that I could have at least given him a bj and been like...yeah...that's my man. We are equal partners and I appreciate him and everything he does for us and our kids. But I don't think I need to give him sex just because he bought a car...one we both discussed and agreed on. It wasn't like an out of the blue thing...we traded in our huge gas guzzler on something more economical.

Quoting ER-momma: Well how did you show him you're appreciative of the car? Guess I should ask, are you?

Quoting Runner36: Well I told him what I thought he said / meant and he got mad that I miss understood him. Then he got mad that I brought up an example of him getting upset about our differences... I was calling him shallow and to get away from him. I'm not very good at explaining myself and he gets really mad when I say stuff he doesn't like...not a whole lot of open mindedness or good communication. He is a yeller and I am not at all...anyway right now he thinks I don't appreciate him and that he is shallow...and frankly he thinks I need to reward him with sex for my new car...uhhhh..I am not a hooker...

Quoting ER-momma: What'd you say/do to make him feel that way to begin with and what'd you say that made it worse?
rockinmomto2
by on May. 5, 2014 at 10:49 PM

I read this to my husband and this is his response : "What a dickhead. Isn't that the definition of misogynistic? That's really fucked up." So, there you have it. Tell your husband to shove it and that your body is not currency. You said thank you, and that should be enough. You both need to enter into marriage counseling so that he can really truly understand how disgusting he is. 

Quoting Runner36: Yes...he thinks sex is payment for him buying me things...that I should show my appreciation that way. Then when I call him on it I am the bad guy....I am so tired of always being the wrong one. I believe it is a two way street but he thinks he is perfect. And yes he said that it I shouldn't try to turn anything around to try and make our issues his fault. I just want to work together for the sake of our kids..but its getting harder and harder: (
Quoting sfigu16: Oh my...did he really say that?!
Quoting Runner36: Oh yes!!! Very appreciative... I thanked him and told him how much I loved it. He said that I could have at least given him a bj and been like...yeah...that's my man. We are equal partners and I appreciate him and everything he does for us and our kids. But I don't think I need to give him sex just because he bought a car...one we both discussed and agreed on. It wasn't like an out of the blue thing...we traded in our huge gas guzzler on something more economical.
Quoting ER-momma: Well how did you show him you're appreciative of the car? Guess I should ask, are you?
Quoting Runner36: Well I told him what I thought he said / meant and he got mad that I miss understood him. Then he got mad that I brought up an example of him getting upset about our differences... I was calling him shallow and to get away from him. I'm not very good at explaining myself and he gets really mad when I say stuff he doesn't like...not a whole lot of open mindedness or good communication. He is a yeller and I am not at all...anyway right now he thinks I don't appreciate him and that he is shallow...and frankly he thinks I need to reward him with sex for my new car...uhhhh..I am not a hooker...
Quoting ER-momma: What'd you say/do to make him feel that way to begin with and what'd you say that made it worse?


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