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How often do you and your SO fight?

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DH and I got into a fight last night. It was really stupid so I won't go into the details but suffice it to say, we were both wrong to snap as we did and it really shouldn't have escalated into a verbal altercation as it did, but it seems like we're both on short fuses lately and we're fighting a lot when we seldom ever used to fight before.

Is it normal to fight frequently? How often do you and your DH/SO fight?


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by on May. 14, 2014 at 4:15 PM
Replies (101-107):
by Silver Member on May. 19, 2014 at 7:58 AM
We bicker or vent, a actual fight where we are nad at eachother...maybe 3x in the last 9 years.
by Member on May. 19, 2014 at 4:15 PM

Having petty arguments is normal. Everyone has them, it's the crazy shouting, throwing things and yelling that isn't normal.

by Member on May. 22, 2014 at 4:04 PM

 We've had some long talks the past week or so and determined that we're both super stressed, tired, and in desperate need of some time alone together, not working, no kids, no family, no friends, just us. Now we're trying to work out the timing and finances of such a venture to make it happen, even if it's just for one night. Thanks for all of your input!

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by on May. 24, 2014 at 11:03 PM

It seems to me every couple is different... when I was with  my ex husband for 16 yrs we fought frequently and intensely, we did even before we got married and it just got worse over the years in our cases, not saying  that is always the case but it was for us. We fought  over big stuff and little stuff and with most people I am exceptionally patient and compassionate and all of that but he had a way of pushing every buttton I had to make me feel like I totally lost all control of my anger and  frustration and annoyance etc and I would scream and  yell and  throw stuff and he was even worse. I couldn't stand how I felt and acted when I was around him and I TRIED NOT to but I felt like I couldnt help it. Not a very good feeling. 

Now with being married to Todd and being with him 11 yrs now.. I can honestly say it is the total opposite. We never have those kinds of fights, we never scream at one another or throw things, we never say things we will later regret, we never do silent treatments or call names or anything like we did with our exes. 

The most we ever do and even this is not very often.. occasionally we will have a strong difference of opinion and  we will both express our side of why we feel or think the  way we do and we both respectfully listen even if we feel the opposite and we discuss it and sometimes we reach a fair compromise we both feel good about or we agree to respectfully disagree and agree that is ok to do sometimes since we ARE individuals.  We both tend to care a LOT more about our relationship and one anothers feelings and respecting their rights to feel and think  how they do than in "winning or losing" an "argument" we are more concerned with being kind and respectful and acknowledge and validate even when we can't agree. It works really well for us. 

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by Member on May. 25, 2014 at 4:32 AM

 Oh shit yeah. Me and hubs have disagreements at least twice a week. We are in a stressful situation at the moment with his drama queen family so that's making it harder but we don't actually have serious yelling matches often

by on May. 25, 2014 at 8:36 AM

I don't know we don't do so at regular intervals, we had a doozy yesterday - still not really talking to him.

but our fights aren't like what you would expect them to be.. we get angry at one another and then ignore each other.

by on May. 25, 2014 at 11:00 AM
We have actually fought maybe 3 times in the last 10 years
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