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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

 

Poll

Question: Is monogamy natural?

Options:

Yes

No


Only group members can vote in this poll.

Total Votes: 447

View Results

Do you think it's natural for people to be monogamous? Why or why not?

by on May. 17, 2014 at 2:39 PM
Replies (121-130):
amanda_mom89
by Bronze Member on May. 19, 2014 at 11:14 AM
:) just didn't want you to think I was attacking or arguing. Just adding to the discussion and I agreed with something you said.

Quoting pippi311:

If you choose to have plural or open relationships and all parties involved agree and are happy with the situation, then more power to you! You are correct, I was speaking more for people who deceive their partners and choose to cheat.


Quoting amanda_mom89: I agree with you to an extent. I don't think there's ever a good excuse for cheating. If you've made a commitment to a partner and monogamy is included in that, you should honor it. If someone can't handle that they should find other ways to end the relationship that don't involve deception. But I don't think you can put cheaters in the same category as those who choose to have plural or non monogamous relationships. (not saying you did, just expanding on the concept. :) ) Those relationships tend to involve enormous amounts of open communication and working past jealousy or insecurity. I don't think relationships should have one size fits all boundaries. Everyone is going to find happiness in different things. Quoting pippi311: I think monogamy is both natural and requires conscious choice if that makes any sense, though that doesn't mean that having attractions or urges for other people go away. I just think too many people refuse to put these attractions and urges aside, then claim that monogamy "isn't natural" in order to make themselves feel obsolved of guilt when they choose to cheat. Sure animals in the wild may do it, but I don't think it should ever be a good thing to compare ourselves to wild animals. After all we are the most evolved species and have the ability to reason and think logically. We are different from animals in most every way. To claim "but animals do it" is a cop out, big time, in my opinion.

 

pippi311
by Member on May. 19, 2014 at 11:21 AM

 Yep I gotcha. No problems. Thanks. :)

Quoting amanda_mom89: :) just didn't want you to think I was attacking or arguing. Just adding to the discussion and I agreed with something you said.
Quoting pippi311:

If you choose to have plural or open relationships and all parties involved agree and are happy with the situation, then more power to you! You are correct, I was speaking more for people who deceive their partners and choose to cheat.

Quoting amanda_mom89: I agree with you to an extent. I don't think there's ever a good excuse for cheating. If you've made a commitment to a partner and monogamy is included in that, you should honor it. If someone can't handle that they should find other ways to end the relationship that don't involve deception. But I don't think you can put cheaters in the same category as those who choose to have plural or non monogamous relationships. (not saying you did, just expanding on the concept. :) ) Those relationships tend to involve enormous amounts of open communication and working past jealousy or insecurity. I don't think relationships should have one size fits all boundaries. Everyone is going to find happiness in different things. Quoting pippi311: I think monogamy is both natural and requires conscious choice if that makes any sense, though that doesn't mean that having attractions or urges for other people go away. I just think too many people refuse to put these attractions and urges aside, then claim that monogamy "isn't natural" in order to make themselves feel obsolved of guilt when they choose to cheat. Sure animals in the wild may do it, but I don't think it should ever be a good thing to compare ourselves to wild animals. After all we are the most evolved species and have the ability to reason and think logically. We are different from animals in most every way. To claim "but animals do it" is a cop out, big time, in my opinion.

 

 

ellechoi
by on May. 19, 2014 at 2:02 PM

I said no, monogamy is not natural, because biologically it is not.  However, humans have evolved socially so that monogamy is expected.  In any relationship I am in I would expect monogamy from my partner and I would never cheat myself. 

BAMFSFW
by Member on May. 19, 2014 at 2:04 PM

No, it's not. 

sarahfire
by Member on May. 19, 2014 at 2:05 PM

Yes I do think its natural, at least for myself and my husband. Neither of us has any desire to be with anyone else. We sowed our wild oats before we met and got together and we have been together for nearly 10 yrs (married almost 7 yrs) with no desire to be with anyone else. I know our feelings won't ever change on this. It may not be natural for all people, but it certainly is for us.

supercarp
by on May. 19, 2014 at 4:09 PM
I think it was natural when there were fewer people on the planet. Now that we are inundated with chances to cheat, it is a lot easier to do so. Polygamy never made sense because there always were more men than women, so if one man had a harem, it meant more men did not have mates or (a reason for prostitution)
Momma2Warriors
by Member on May. 19, 2014 at 5:29 PM
I did not answer your poll because I feel monogamy is natural for some people but not others. Just like some are homosexual, bisexual, pansexual, asexual, heterosexual... some are into bdsm some are vanilla.

Everyone is wired differently.


Quoting white_mage:

Do you think it's natural for people to be monogamous? Why or why not?

MommyBoren
by on May. 19, 2014 at 5:55 PM
I don't think our base nature is to be monogamous sexually. I 100% agree that our reasoning is what overrides our human nature though. I adore my husband but that doesn't mean I don't see another male and have a catnap instinct. My reasoning overrides it that I appreciate what I have with my husband more than the 'quick fix' I could get from indulging in that desire.
mrs.hartman12
by on May. 19, 2014 at 6:04 PM
Quoting pippi311:

I think monogamy is both natural and requires conscious choice if that makes any sense, though that doesn't mean that having attractions or urges for other people go away. I just think too many people refuse to put these attractions and urges aside, then claim that monogamy "isn't natural" in order to make themselves feel obsolved of guilt when they choose to cheat.


Sure animals in the wild may do it, but I don't think it should ever be a good thing to compare ourselves to wild animals. After all we are the most evolved species and have the ability to reason and think logically. We are different from animals in most every way. To claim "but animals do it" is a cop out, big time, in my opinion.



I agree with this and some animals do mate for life.
sugarbutt89
by Member on May. 19, 2014 at 7:35 PM
We have to fight our human nature on so many other things also. Human nature is selfish , and it lacks self control.

Quoting white_mage:

I don't think it's natural, that's why people cheat on each other. I believe it's wrong to cheat on someone, so we have to fight against our own nature to do what's right.

Quoting Hottmomma607: Yes I do.
What about you?

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