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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

DH and strip clubs?

Posted by on Jun. 9, 2014 at 6:27 AM
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How do you all feel about your DH going to a strip club?

I ask because this past weekend my DH went camping with three of his friends (two are married) and my DH sent me a text saying the guys want to go to a strip club are you ok with me going. We had talked about this before and he knew that I didn't want him to go and I reminded him of how I felt. Then he said should I just go and not tell you and I said only if you want a divorce. I felt he was saying that he shoulda just lied to me and I questioned my trust in him. They didn't wind up going but I was still pissed about the conversation we had. And now I don't trust those friends around him. What do you think of my situation?
by on Jun. 9, 2014 at 6:27 AM
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Replies (1-10):
booaura
by Bronze Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 6:32 AM
I don't care. He's an adult, and I trust him. He's gone a few times, for bachelor parties, and birthday parties.
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Greysonmommy
by Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 6:36 AM
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I prefer him to be honest and tell me...i don't care if he goes...He has gone a few times for bachelor's parties...i am not insecure with our marriage.
Mommabearbergh
by Bronze Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 6:47 AM
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I took dh to his first strip club and when I went to my first I just went sooo yeah. We are both adults who can make decisions and we don't need each other's permission I am not his mother. He is going to have some women rub on him so I expect him home horny and a bit drunk. That's a win for me. I don't see the issue with strip clubs
BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 6:57 AM
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I would have been pissed about that conversation too.  I'm not sure how I would have felt about DH going in this situation (guess that would depend on my mood) but in general I'd prefer he go with me rather than with his friends.  There aren't any strip clubs around here and DH has no interest in going either so this scenario is very unlikely to happen.

amybrg86
by Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 7:49 AM

i would be very upset about that conversation as well! you're sure they didn't go? i would not trust those 'friends' around him either! however, i will say that it was great on his part to ask you if you minded if he went...at least he was being somewhat considerate...

BellaAngel8707
by Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this
We have already talked about this
Thankfully the closest one in 1 1/2 away. I don't like it. I am not his mother, but he is suppose to be respectful.He doesn't want me dancing with other men, so I expect no other woman be dancing on him.
I would have had a talk with him when he got home. Its very upsetting that he even said anything of that nature.
RheaF
by Silver Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 8:09 AM

 It's not something either of us feel is ok in our marriage. We trust each other completly, it is just not something that ould be ok for either of us to do.

I would have a serious talk with him about it if I were you. Did this whole conversation happen over text? If so, maybe he thought he was joking around with the "I should just not tell you" bit. A bad joke, but maybe? It is hard to convey tone over text. Maybe he also didn't think you were serious with the divorce part, or didn't think you were that upset? Maybe he knew? The only way to find out is to talk to him about it. Do't yell, or let emotions get the best of you, just explain why you feel the way you do, and ask him why it is so important for him to go?

LadyBast
by Brenda on Jun. 9, 2014 at 8:50 AM

I guess if it was all guys and a bunch of them did it and they were together I may be OK with it but nope I do not like them and it is not his thing or his friends, so he would not do it!

pippi311
by Member on Jun. 9, 2014 at 9:33 AM

I trust my DH and if he had to go to a strip club for a bachelor party that he couldn't get out of or something like that then begrudgingly I might have to be ok with it, but he knows how I feel about these kinds of places so under normal circumstances, No I am not ok with him going. I firmly feel that strip clubs are no place for married men, single guys sure, but married men have no business having some naked chick grind all over them until their shorts burst.

If DH and I had this conversation you did - I would be upset by that too. He already knew how you felt about it, did he think just merely asking you would change your mind. It is good that he did ask but still, the way he said it would make me think he might just start going when he wants and keeping it from you. Hopefully not.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jun. 9, 2014 at 11:10 AM
This! I've been.
Why don't you trust his friends? They are all adults, what they do has nothing to do with him. He did call to "ask permission." After conversation he seemed frustrated and added in "I shouldn't have told and went!" Not right at all.


Quoting booaura: I don't care. He's an adult, and I trust him. He's gone a few times, for bachelor parties, and birthday parties.
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