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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Should I want to leave?

Posted by on Jun. 15, 2014 at 10:46 AM
  • 35 Replies

Every relationship I have been in I have been cheated on or left for someone in the past or someone that they just wanted to leave for. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year on the 23rd. Everything was perfect but my man is so honest he will let me know everything. So he lets me know that its this woman that he has basically been talking to and I guess he is attracted to her cause she has a big butt(I have never seen her) but the past few days I found out that she does have his phone number and when I asked him he said she calls him but he always tells her that he is to busy to talk which I am not falling for. I work monday thru friday and I am mainly a home body so if he was cheating with her I wouldn't know.. Should I want to leave him? He says he hasn't had sex with her but I really don't care I have never been able to be in a relationship without wondering if my man is cheating on me and I am tired of it I wish I could just have a man that I knew wasn't going to cheat on me. I am insecure sometimes but then again I know I could always find someone but I don't know how I will trust him like I once did I just thought he was different when we first met. He always told me that even if he did cheat its only a lust thing and that he would never leave me for anyone. I guess cause we handle bills good and because I have a good head on my shoulders with school and everything.

by on Jun. 15, 2014 at 10:46 AM
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Replies (1-10):
shadow_lark
by Silver Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 10:51 AM
3 moms liked this
You shouldn't want to leave, you should leave. He as good as told you he will cheat. I'm thinking he's using you to help pay his bills.
linz04060913
by Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 11:43 AM

You can't have it both ways. Either he's honest and hasn't slept with her, or he's dishonest and has. You should def leave

Pixi-goddess
by Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 12:06 PM
1 mom liked this
You are going to have to talk to him an let him decide if the "lust" for others is worth losing you. Let him know you are a one man type girl and if he can't be the same a one woman type man than it's time to move on. Honesty is the best and most important part in a relationship. And besides if he isn't doing anything an there just friends then why not suggest he invite her over for dinner one night so you can get to know her.... Befriend the enemy and it makes things harder for him if he tries to cheat...

Quoting myloves2:

Every relationship I have been in I have been cheated on or left for someone in the past or someone that they just wanted to leave for. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year on the 23rd. Everything was perfect but my man is so honest he will let me know everything. So he lets me know that its this woman that he has basically been talking to and I guess he is attracted to her cause she has a big butt(I have never seen her) but the past few days I found out that she does have his phone number and when I asked him he said she calls him but he always tells her that he is to busy to talk which I am not falling for. I work monday thru friday and I am mainly a home body so if he was cheating with her I wouldn't know.. Should I want to leave him? He says he hasn't had sex with her but I really don't care I have never been able to be in a relationship without wondering if my man is cheating on me and I am tired of it I wish I could just have a man that I knew wasn't going to cheat on me. I am insecure sometimes but then again I know I could always find someone but I don't know how I will trust him like I once did I just thought he was different when we first met. He always told me that even if he did cheat its only a lust thing and that he would never leave me for anyone. I guess cause we handle bills good and because I have a good head on my shoulders with school and everything.

myloves2
by New Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 12:07 PM
We moved into this house together paying half and half and he pays the rent and I pay most of the bills like car payments and stuff if I'm a little short he will give me what I need but yes he said he wants to have sex with her but hasn't cause he loves me but I told him it is just as bad cause of the fact that she is able to call and text him or whatever but he says when she calls he doesn't talk on the phone. I just feel angry cause it hasn't even hit a full year and he already is giving out his number I could understand we have been together for a few years and he wants to go somewhere and have excitement for the relationship but I just feel like I can do better with a man who will just all about me I just have to wait for God to send him

Quoting shadow_lark: You shouldn't want to leave, you should leave. He as good as told you he will cheat. I'm thinking he's using you to help pay his bills.
myloves2
by New Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 12:10 PM
I don't even know he she is and if I seen her I might do something I regret he said they are not friends he wants to have sex with her but he always says I'm here for you 100% its just lust he said I come home every night I am only attracted to her for sex. But like I told a previous mom it just hurts with knowing you have been conversating with someone other then me in that way basically

Quoting Pixi-goddess: You are going to have to talk to him an let him decide if the "lust" for others is worth losing you. Let him know you are a one man type girl and if he can't be the same a one woman type man than it's time to move on. Honesty is the best and most important part in a relationship. And besides if he isn't doing anything an there just friends then why not suggest he invite her over for dinner one night so you can get to know her.... Befriend the enemy and it makes things harder for him if he tries to cheat...

Quoting myloves2:

Every relationship I have been in I have been cheated on or left for someone in the past or someone that they just wanted to leave for. Me and my boyfriend have been together a year on the 23rd. Everything was perfect but my man is so honest he will let me know everything. So he lets me know that its this woman that he has basically been talking to and I guess he is attracted to her cause she has a big butt(I have never seen her) but the past few days I found out that she does have his phone number and when I asked him he said she calls him but he always tells her that he is to busy to talk which I am not falling for. I work monday thru friday and I am mainly a home body so if he was cheating with her I wouldn't know.. Should I want to leave him? He says he hasn't had sex with her but I really don't care I have never been able to be in a relationship without wondering if my man is cheating on me and I am tired of it I wish I could just have a man that I knew wasn't going to cheat on me. I am insecure sometimes but then again I know I could always find someone but I don't know how I will trust him like I once did I just thought he was different when we first met. He always told me that even if he did cheat its only a lust thing and that he would never leave me for anyone. I guess cause we handle bills good and because I have a good head on my shoulders with school and everything.

tapies2324
by Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 12:21 PM
1 mom liked this
Oh my goodness..honey...please walk away from this fool. Do all us ladies a favor and do not let yourself be played like this. Let him have her..I'm sure she wont be calling or texting once he is single again. Some bitches love a game, the favorite is "can i make him cheat?" Don't let this happen to you.

Btw, he is playing freaking games to. F that noise about finding her do able..walk away!!!
Pixi-goddess
by Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 12:30 PM
I completely understand what your saying, but in any relationship there are going to be spots where you are wanting someone else because there hot... My husband has cheated on me before and we were able to get past it. And there are times where he will start talking to a female still but now he tells me. When we sat down and really talked about why he feels like he does this he came to the root of it and said he does it to feel like he is still desirable to others. It's not that he wants them and he would never leave me but because we have been together for so long he just feels like I'm the only one who wants him... It truly is a male thing, and it passes. When he starts to do this I'll find some new way to make him feel wanted and desired and the other girl goes away. You have to work on relationships... That part never goes away... And it's not always easy. But if you are truly in love with him than you have to give more than you receive and always expect nothing in return. It seems unfair I know but love is not always fair and it's not always a 2 way street... It's not always black and white... But love is never ending and never fails and will always be there for you.

Quoting myloves2: We moved into this house together paying half and half and he pays the rent and I pay most of the bills like car payments and stuff if I'm a little short he will give me what I need but yes he said he wants to have sex with her but hasn't cause he loves me but I told him it is just as bad cause of the fact that she is able to call and text him or whatever but he says when she calls he doesn't talk on the phone. I just feel angry cause it hasn't even hit a full year and he already is giving out his number I could understand we have been together for a few years and he wants to go somewhere and have excitement for the relationship but I just feel like I can do better with a man who will just all about me I just have to wait for God to send him

Quoting shadow_lark: You shouldn't want to leave, you should leave. He as good as told you he will cheat. I'm thinking he's using you to help pay his bills.
tapies2324
by Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 2:19 PM
4 moms liked this
Damn it ladies!! Here is a news flash! There are good men out there who don't cheat...they are even classy enough to NOT tell you about some hot chick at work...and they won't give them their contact info either. Why on God's earth are you playing into this crap. You are being totally disrespected. .you are SO MUCH BETTER THAN THIS BULLSHIT. Go be free of this...allow God to send you your soulmate.

I'm 36, my age may have something to do with it, but my man, my soulmate would never disrespect me by saying he wants to bang some whore at work or wherever. He sure wouldn't make an effort to contact them. Even if he wanted to he wouldn't say it and he wouldn't want to lose what we have together for a moment of lust.

Walk away from the foolish guys who do this crap to women. And if they proceed with the crazy bullshit eliminate them from your life. Make yourself available for a Good man!!!
shadow_lark
by Silver Member on Jun. 15, 2014 at 2:57 PM
1 mom liked this
If he loves you he wouldn't want another woman

Quoting myloves2: We moved into this house together paying half and half and he pays the rent and I pay most of the bills like car payments and stuff if I'm a little short he will give me what I need but yes he said he wants to have sex with her but hasn't cause he loves me but I told him it is just as bad cause of the fact that she is able to call and text him or whatever but he says when she calls he doesn't talk on the phone. I just feel angry cause it hasn't even hit a full year and he already is giving out his number I could understand we have been together for a few years and he wants to go somewhere and have excitement for the relationship but I just feel like I can do better with a man who will just all about me I just have to wait for God to send him

Quoting shadow_lark: You shouldn't want to leave, you should leave. He as good as told you he will cheat. I'm thinking he's using you to help pay his bills.
PinkButterfly66
by on Jun. 15, 2014 at 3:40 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, you should leave.   You need to take a honest inventory of yourself to figure out WHY you always end up with cheaters.

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