This really grinds my gears, my husband and I have been separated for about a month, month and a half maybe. He intiated the separation saying that I don't clean well enough for him. Our daughter has Been with family so that we could get caught up on bills and put in as much hours working. The stress built up on me as I am not making much financially, minimum wage and going to school, just two more years until I graduate with a BS in biochemistry. I've been doing my best with school and juggling work with family. I can't exactly clean every square inch of our apartment every single day. After school was done, I went back home to deal with the separation in solitude with our daughter and my mom helping me out by not asking for money or anything, she just let me be sad and sleep all day, I only woke up to eat one meal a day and to run twice a day. I showered only once every two days. Eventually I sook out my MIL and had a talk with her and FIL, they told me to be positive and eventually things would work out, to trust in god and believe that it'll get better and assured me that it would. Now, our DD and I came back with my husband because school is about to start and I need to work to save in case this marriage is over. We've been here a couple days, I've been walking on eggshells with cleaning and cooking and housework. He's been nice and okay, we went swimming with our daughter and had a blast, I believed everything would be great and that this marriage would trump the past couple of months of our fallout. He came to me two nights in a row for sex, it's been a month since we last did, so of course I let him and we did. Every time afterward, I was crying to cuddle and to kiss him and to just be near him as a wife and not some sex doll in the next room. I'd ask myself why I was allowing him to do this to me with no real talk about what will happen next with marriage. Today, I was cleaning and going into a heavier detail with organizing and scrubbing walls and the fridge and sink, whatnot and I started doing laundry. I wasn't sure about his laundry because I've been trying to keep my distance and kind of show him the struggle he'd be in without my help. So I just decided, "I'll be nice and do it for him, he works 12 hours a day, whynot?", I was incredibly shocked when I found 3 opened condoms in his pants pocket. For one thing, I have never accused him of cheating nor have I ever suspected he would cheat especially being married and all. Now this really killed my heart. I can feel it breaking inside and I can't breathe. I can't believe this has happened and in a way I'm glad I know. My thoughts are all over the place, do I leave and just divorce or should I stay and figure out if he wants to try to work things out? Right now I feel strong and like I can get through this with or without him. I love him and the person he is and the person he makes me strive to be. Now I'm not even sure about what kind of relationship I want with him.
Have you been cheated on and stayed and worked it out or did you leave and feel you made the right choice at the time?
On my phone so sorry, no paragraphs. Not sure if anything is even in a good story mode. Just need advice. :(
on Jul. 2, 2014 at 6:48 PM