Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

He hates me !

Posted by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 1:08 AM
  • 14 Replies

This is a first for me

But I am so lost, so disconsolate, so angry, I need to vent. I am not a horrible woman, nor a horrible wife or mom, yet, my husband lives to define the parameters by which I fall short. I have just been scolded for being a "fat, fucking retard." The words, however shocking to the innocent ear, are quite the norm to me. i defend myself by imagining his limp impotent ego growing flaccidly stiff with each horrid incantation against me. Poor man... Is this all that's left of your immasculated existence?

I am not as horrible as his slander would make you think. I have born two perfect daughters (both born naturally and lovingly nursed for months) I am an entrepreneur and have, successfully, started two businesses in our years together. I have, more often, equalled his salary than i have depended upon it. Even now, in my flattery towards him, I hesitate to admit, that I was often the one responsible for our family's debts.

I am nether fat, nor retarded.

So what, if anyone can answer, is my responsibility to stay to hear the next assault? Of course, we all know, trsponsubility is for the 5 year old girl that her mother can bear no more? That her father had shot his last competent arrow?
by on Jul. 9, 2014 at 1:08 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
by YVONNE on Jul. 9, 2014 at 1:45 AM

I already answered this in your other post. 

View Full Size Image YVONNE

by Brenda on Jul. 9, 2014 at 11:04 AM

Answered in your other post!

by New Member on Jul. 10, 2014 at 7:07 AM
1 mom liked this
Remember: the way he treats you is the way your child will think marriage should be. Plus, verbal abuse like that isn't OK regardless of whether kids are involved. You deserve better!
by Bronze Member on Jul. 10, 2014 at 10:07 AM
by Melissa on Jul. 10, 2014 at 11:12 AM

If you are smart enough to realize all that he is doing is wrong.. you should be smart enough to leave...

by Marianne on Jul. 11, 2014 at 4:44 PM

 As another poster has said, and as I always say in the case of abuse, think of your child. You don't want her to grow up thinking this is how she should be treated by her husband. You don't want her growing up to believe this is how YOU should be treated either. Break the cycle now. Get out while she's still young and can relearn respect from you and others. She won't learn it from him.

by Platinum Member on Jul. 11, 2014 at 4:49 PM


by Member on Jul. 11, 2014 at 4:53 PM

What you allow, will continue.

We teach others how to treat us.

Why do you stay?

by Member on Jul. 11, 2014 at 6:09 PM

You are asking the right questions. Why can't you accept your own answers. This is a no-brainer....Leave.

by New Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 10:50 PM
Wow, thank you for all your responses, though it seems the resounding answer from all is to simply "leave." I must say that this solution is one that I've not come even close to considering.

I'm actually a bit shocked by how quickly everyone seemed to support that conclusion. I'm not saying this in any way to support him, he is a {fill in with your own derisive epithet), but don't you feel you would need a little more information before suggesting the nuclear option? I suppose that was what I was hoping for. I don't want to break my little family up. I love my home, my girls, my life, and even my husband (when he is the Mr. Hyde version pf himself) He is a man everyone adores; his family, my family, his work, our neighbors... He is a provider and a protector, (bla bla bla) but to me, and only to me, he is also mean-hearted and hurtful. (I write this post from bed after having been called, yet again, a "retard", a "dumbass", and an "idiot". All of which, of course, I am not, nor did I do anything so atrocious to have been called them.) BUT these words were said in our room and in the presence of no one as is always the case. He does not act this way, for obvious reasons in front of other people. So, my question is, if my girls are not witnessing his tirades against me, and considering they have gone on long enough for me to have grown a shell thick enough to protect myself from any form of belief in his words, what is my next step? Are there others that live like this or is this miles beyond the boundary of normal? Am I truly allowing something horrendous to happen within the walls of my home, or is this parts s parcel of the typical mediocre marriage?

What is the worst things your husband have called you?

Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)