I feel like my husband's in love with his family more than me.
We got married in June. We've known each other for 7 years. We've been living together for about a year. I'm four months pregnant. Up until two weeks ago, he was the perfect husband. Compliments all the time, flowers every week, a date every day. Gentle and kind. Never ever said a negative word to me. And then two weeks ago he said he wasn't happy and that he was leaving. He came back the next day and slept (he works nightshift) and the went to work again. Then for the next weeks leading up to now he has been spending every day at his parents house, day and night, no call or text or warning. Today he came back because I told him if he wasn't going to live in our house, his belonging's weren't going to live in our house either.
His family has never liked me. From day one his grandmother was trying to get him to dump me to the curb. Who knows why. I "stole her little boy"? Even though she's backhanded him and slit open his cheek with a ring before.
His mom has never actually said anything horrible in front of me, but she found out I was pregnant July 4th and it appeared she was trying to get me to have a miscarriage. I try to talk to her and she gives me these looks like, "Uh.... You're incredibly stupid, I don't want to talk to you."
His brother absolutely hates me the most, by far. He hates me because I exposed his drug addiction and he got a slap on the hand. He's the most spoiled out of the entire household. He could be some of the reason my husband's family hates me so much. He made up lies to make me appear a cruel person to everyone.
His dad, who I thought would be the most difficult to communicate with because of a history of abuse, is actually the easiest and most mellow.
My husband says he never gets to see his family because of me.
Today we had a huge conversation - the first in weeks - and I told him, "When you chose to marry me you chose to make me your family. They are now your relatives. Me, the baby, and you. That's the family you have now. There is no middle ground. You either live in my home or their home. That's it. It's like having two queen bees. One of them is going to die, because there can only be one."
And he told me he just plain out doesn't get that. He says, "Why can't I just have both?"
I reiterated the queen bee example. He reiterated that was a stupid conclusion and it wasn't going to happen.
Finally at the end he said, "Then I think it's time I move back in with my mom."
What is wrong with him?? How do I get it in his head that he needs to grow up and leave his mom? I don't have the resources to fix this. I have tried my best to get along with his family, but it's like an entirely different planet. I'm a human trying to walk amongst aliens.