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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I feel more alone in my marriage then ever

Posted by on Jul. 11, 2014 at 10:30 PM
  • 19 Replies
Today has been a day from hell, once again and I feel stuck on what to do. I know one thing is for sure, I feel extremely depressed and alone in my marriage. I am 3 months pregnant with our first child (my husband and I) and I have a 3 year old from a previous relationship. Well today, my mother asked if I could come down to see her with my daughter before she went with her father... it was last minute but I said okay considerinf I had to be in town anyway that day later. The second I left I got a text message from my husband saying you had time to do your makeup and shit to leave but didnt have time to do the dishes.... mind you, I didnt even put makeup on.. and even if I did who cares? I was in a rush considering I has to take 2 buses to get to my mother's town. I was planning on doing the dishes when I got home... he also texted me saying I had no respect for him as a husband because I didnt clean before I left... and by the way, he wasnt even working today. Well I left at 1pm, and came back about 630pm after I dropped my daughter off with her father and my husband was STILL in a bad mood. I cooked him dinner, and asked him if he was going to be like this all night he said yes. He was giving me short answers, and ignoring me, then pretty much left me in our room by myself. Me being hurt I was crying, and when he came back in, we had words and he said I was in a rush to see my daughters father and I need to learn how to be a wife.. that really hit home for me because I do everything for this man and our household, and I wasnt rushing to see my kids father, I was rushing to catch the bus on time.. he left the room again, came back in and iI was trying to talk to him and he was ignoring me... i said i think im going to have to leave and his response was then leave.. it is now 1027pm and he is inbed sleeping not even caring how he has made me feel. I feel like he doesnt even care, love or respect me. I really DONT want to leave but iI deserve to be respected and loved. I just need advice and support please :(
by on Jul. 11, 2014 at 10:30 PM
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Replies (1-10):
M4LG5
by Member on Jul. 11, 2014 at 10:43 PM
Question. ..did you know he felt this way about the house only being your responsibility? One of the reasons I married my DH was because we both felt it was both of our duties to clean the house. We still have our issues but cleaning house is not near the top at all.

DH has had issues with my ex (oldest daughter's bio dad) at the beginning as well. He has never met him because he isn't around but he did call my daughter at the beginning and DH thought I couldn't wait to talk to him. He would get upset about this when he was upset about something else. If he wasnt, we didn't have as much as an issue.

When things are calm, talk to him about what your needs are and how he can help. You two need to agree on responsibilities as a team. Good luck.
cakklove
by Member on Jul. 11, 2014 at 10:45 PM

Does he think you still have feelings for your ex?

SleepyBaby224
by New Member on Jul. 11, 2014 at 10:48 PM
@M4 yes I knew it was my responsibilty to clean and im fine with that, but he does help sometimes and I usually clean atleast once a day, it was just today I was in such a rush I didnt have time to clean. @cakklove Im not sure if he does, but I definitly don't, and I've reassured my husband plenty of times.
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Jul. 11, 2014 at 11:01 PM
2 moms liked this

 counseling

sorry, hon. For some men, coming home to a clean house is part of the deal.

hopeful8897
by Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 6:25 AM

Maybe your husband is insecure in your relationship. He might  feel threatened by your X.You need to have a long calm conversation when things are a little calmer . You should not be treated that way! It sounds like you have your hands full. Good luck!!

L202M
by Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 8:55 AM
5 moms liked this

He's your husband, not your father.  Shut down that shit asap or you'll have a miserable life. 

Iluvfairies
by New Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 1:36 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry but life is just too short to make washing dishes top priority.First your pregnant and he should be doing ad much as possible for you.I to an in a lonely marriage and the worst feeling is when your crying your eyes out and hee roles over.my husband can do that just fine.he abandoned nee my pregnancy and I have found that not just as a man, or husband but as a human being, your natural instinct should be to console the person you supposedly love and care about.I stopped crying in front of him and started thinking about myself.I have a 6yr old who is disabled and a ten month old.it's difficult.but it seems like he's picking on you for no reason.My suggestion is to stop feeling like you did something wrong because you didn't.pay no attention and if this persists and you try to talk to him do what I did..stop cooking dinner, and being a door mat.you should be loved especially carrying his child.we deserve to be cared for and worshiped and he's taking advantage.this is only my opinion but you have to stand up for yourself.I spent so much time asking what did I do, and what can I do when it was him nit me.it'd he's not willing to talk afoot what is really bothering him you may need to consider just taking care of you.
MonarchMom22
by Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 1:50 PM
4 moms liked this

this is very troubling.  You husband is using anger and and ignoring you to try to control your behavior about something he is imagining.  You were not getting make-up and rushing to see your ex - that was all in husband's own mind.  But he is trying to punish you for what he percieves as a slight.

This is step one on the road to abuse.  Being jealous for no reason, and then punishing you for how he feels.  It is a no-win situation.  You can't fix it because you did nothing wrong.

Can you stay with your Mom if things get difficult?  It is important you have a support system in place.  Things may get better, but they may not also.  

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Jul. 12, 2014 at 2:03 PM

((((((((((((Hugs))))))))))))



Autiziumom
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 2:32 AM
Mmmm..... talking isnt working. He sounds very macho. Like u dont have a say. He throws in your face your duties but what about his? Marriage is 100% from both parties. Im so sorry this is happening. I say try one more time. If he still isnt respecting u, u must think of yourself and children.
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