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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

My dh won't go to church with me

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 10:09 AM
  • 58 Replies
I just very so upset that my husband never goes to church with us as a family. I feel my dh had a very strong influence on things that go on in our family. I don't know why he won't go I ask and he all upset and passed off.
by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 10:09 AM
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SlightlyPerfect
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Don't let people fool you. Everything they do is by design.
Today at 8:17 AM
by Slightly Perfect on Jul. 13, 2014 at 11:26 AM
2 moms liked this
I'm an atheist, so I'm looking at it from that perspective. Chances are he doesn't believe your god exists. Maybe he doesn't want to raise the kids with those beliefs. Or maybe he doesn't care. Your best bet is to ask him.
casah4
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 11:26 AM
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Church isn't for everyone.  

booaura
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 11:30 AM
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If he isn't religious, you have no right to expect or attempt to force him to go. He is his own person and doesn't have to share your beliefs. How are you asking him? Are you being aggressive and condescending? Or are you asking him respectfully becauseyou are truly curious?
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MMerrill
by Melissa on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:13 PM
1 mom liked this

Do you two share the same religion?  If not, I could see why he doesn't want to go.  However, I don't have much advice because I could never be with someone who didn't believe the same things I believed.

If he does share the same religion as you and just doesn't want to join you at church, try telling him what you told us... that you think he is a big influence on your family and that you would love it if he would please join you at church every now and then.  Let him know that it would mean a lot to you.

Maybe try to get him to come when church is having some sort of function or something fun.



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little.worthen
by Tessie on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:21 PM
Honestly you should have married someone more spiritual then...
AutymsMommy
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:23 PM

Well, did you marry him knowing he didn't attend church?

I'll be honest - posts like these (and they are frequent posts) remind me why I married a man who strongly shared my Catholic faith.

I am a Home Schooling, Vaccinating, Non spanking, Nightmare Cuddling, Dessert Giving, Bedtime Kissing, Book Reading, Stay at Home Mom. I believe in the benefit of organized after school activities and nosy, involved parents. I believe in spoiling my children. I believe that I have seen the village and I do not want it anywhere near my children. Now for the controversial stuff:  we're Catholic, we're conservative, and we own guns (now there's no need to ask, lol).             Aimee

Anryan
by Platinum Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:29 PM
4 moms liked this

religion is deeply personal.  no one person should ever dictate how another practices thier religion nor should they demean or undermine them if they don't have a religion.  Your husband is still setting a good example for your family....he is standing up for his view points and saying 'this isn't for me, i'm not going to go' regardless of why he isn't going.  Kids need to know they can make choices as they grow up, why be forced to go to church when it isn't your faith or your choice.

Anryan,

Wife to.....

  David    and   Irish

alexsmomma06
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:32 PM
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Same here. I wouldn't marry someone of a different or no faith.

Forcing him or constantly nagging him will only drive him further away. Have you tried asking him why he won't or what his beliefs are?

Quoting AutymsMommy:

Well, did you marry him knowing he didn't attend church?

I'll be honest - posts like these (and they are frequent posts) remind me why I married a man who strongly shared my Catholic faith.

earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:38 PM
1 mom liked this

Did you two discuss your religious beliefs and how you both felt they should be lived out and how you two would raise your kids whether you share religious beliefs or not BEFORE you got married and had kids? Ideally that should be discussed and agreed upon or compromised on before marriage and kids.... now all you can do is make sure you discuss it with him respectfully .. RESPECTFUL OF HIS feelings and beliefs and rights too...  we can't dictate how another person thinks, feels, believes, lives.  

If you two can't agree on a church or religion or such then a compromise is your best bet.... apparently he doesn't seem to have an issue with you taking the kids so be grateful for that if that is important to you and if he is a good man and husband and father and human being that just doesn't go to church, then I think I would focus on counting my blessings that my kids still have a good role model in so many other ways even if he doesn't agree on every religious aspect.  So many women have husbands who are BAD husbands or bad fathers or bad people .. period and also at least he isn't  trying to dictate to you that he doesn't want YOU or the kids to go to the church you like.. he is respecting your beliefs and rights .. so.. so what if it he doesn't want to go... you should give him as much freedoom and respect as he is giving YOU! 

View Full Size Image YVONNE

frankiesma530
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 12:40 PM

Well did you attend church together before getting married? Was faith discussed beforehand? Church isn't everyone's thing.

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