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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

letting myself go.

Posted by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:35 PM
  • 124 Replies
Today my bf told me I was letting myself go. I have gained about 15 pounds. I was heavy when we met. I didn't wear a lot of make up and I usually tied my hair. When we started dating we had a long distance relationship so I had time to do my hair and make up. After the birth of my second son I really dont have time to do my hair anf make up anymore. And honestly I don't try to do it or be sexy. I hate the way I look. Always have. Growing up I have been told I was beat with the ugly stick and I should kill myself because of it. I dont want him to leave me because he isn't attracted to me but I find it so hard to find the time or if its even possible to save our relationship
by on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:35 PM
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Replies (1-10):
booaura
by Bronze Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:37 PM
1 mom liked this
I can't really understand where you are coming from. I've always taken care of myself, because I want to look nice. Sure, it's partially for my husband now, but I've always made sure I looked good because it was important to me. If your relationship is based solely on looks, then there is probably something wrong there, but other than that, try to find the intrest to look good for yourself.
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amberNewman0213
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:38 PM
4 moms liked this
It sounds like there is a deeper problem. And your dating a dickhead.
TommyAbby
by Melissa on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:39 PM

You had a long distance relationship.. ok... did you every use the camera so he could see you live? 

How was he when you two moved in together? 

And gaining 15 isn't too bad after having a child.  

Putting on make up can take two seconds. Literally.. a little blush and some mascara and BAM Done!  Youtube easy hair styles for your hair length. There are some great styles that can be done that look dressy and chic, but don't require a lot of time at all. 

kacfl816
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:47 PM
We have been together four years. The first two he lived three hours away and I saw him one weekend out of the month. I have tried the whole make up thing and quite frankly I suck at it totally. I have two children so I don't have a lot of time in the morning to get dolled up to go to work. We dont go out on dates anymore. So idk. The weight is all around my stomach area so its very unattractive. I don't know what to do cause I honestly feel like I can't be what he thinks I should be.

Quoting TommyAbby:

You had a long distance relationship.. ok... did you every use the camera so he could see you live? 

How was he when you two moved in together? 

And gaining 15 isn't too bad after having a child.  

Putting on make up can take two seconds. Literally.. a little blush and some mascara and BAM Done!  Youtube easy hair styles for your hair length. There are some great styles that can be done that look dressy and chic, but don't require a lot of time at all. 

kacfl816
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:48 PM
I have never been a beautiful girl. Have tried the whole make up thing and I just can't apply it to look good. Even when I have friends do it I just look so silly.

Quoting booaura: I can't really understand where you are coming from. I've always taken care of myself, because I want to look nice. Sure, it's partially for my husband now, but I've always made sure I looked good because it was important to me. If your relationship is based solely on looks, then there is probably something wrong there, but other than that, try to find the intrest to look good for yourself.
kacfl816
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:49 PM
What kind of problem?

Quoting amberNewman0213: It sounds like there is a deeper problem. And your dating a dickhead.
lillybug222
by Silver Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:49 PM
I'm pretty thankful my DH isn't overly concerned with how I look. He doesn't even notice when I get fixed up. I am a teacher, so I do my hair & make up (basic) every day for school. Weekends, breaks & summer = I rarely put make up on, do my hair, or wear anything but comfy lounge clothes. He's happy regardless.
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TommyAbby
by Melissa on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:54 PM

I also have two kids.. 

I get the busy, but.. that's an excuse. Practice makes perfect. OR you could go to your local store (BonTon, Dillards) at the make up counter and have them do your make up and show you how to apply it. They can show you what colors work best for your skin tone.  Blush and mascara are all a busy mom needs. 

Now have you tried to get some exercise in just for your own health? (you said you were overweight to begin with) Take the kids for walks or run around the backyard...

Quoting kacfl816: We have been together four years. The first two he lived three hours away and I saw him one weekend out of the month. I have tried the whole make up thing and quite frankly I suck at it totally. I have two children so I don't have a lot of time in the morning to get dolled up to go to work. We dont go out on dates anymore. So idk. The weight is all around my stomach area so its very unattractive. I don't know what to do cause I honestly feel like I can't be what he thinks I should be.
Quoting TommyAbby:

You had a long distance relationship.. ok... did you every use the camera so he could see you live? 

How was he when you two moved in together? 

And gaining 15 isn't too bad after having a child.  

Putting on make up can take two seconds. Literally.. a little blush and some mascara and BAM Done!  Youtube easy hair styles for your hair length. There are some great styles that can be done that look dressy and chic, but don't require a lot of time at all. 


amberNewman0213
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:54 PM
3 moms liked this
I don't know just an underlying problem. Has he been feeling down on himself? My ex husband would say things like that too me after I just had our child. Hence he is the ex husband now. I think any man who could say something like that to his wife is not a man at all and has insecurities of his own and if looks are that important to him I'd rethink the relationship.

Quoting kacfl816: What kind of problem?

Quoting amberNewman0213: It sounds like there is a deeper problem. And your dating a dickhead.
kacfl816
by Member on Jul. 13, 2014 at 8:55 PM
He never was like this so idk what happened

Quoting lillybug222: I'm pretty thankful my DH isn't overly concerned with how I look. He doesn't even notice when I get fixed up. I am a teacher, so I do my hair & make up (basic) every day for school. Weekends, breaks & summer = I rarely put make up on, do my hair, or wear anything but comfy lounge clothes. He's happy regardless.
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