I know what I have to do but I feel guilt and sadness. Help.
I've been with my SO for 5 years now, we've got a 3 year old daughter. Our "relationship" started in high school and was mainly physical (he was my first boyfriend) and progressed to an emotional one where we were living together; our baby girl was a happy "accident" at a time in our lives where we weren't ready for kids but everything seemed to work out. I'm not happy, I haven't been happy for a while now but he doesn't think it's serious. I've told him over and over that I need attention, our daughter needs attention and time with him but he makes ME feel guilty by saying he works hard so he needs HIS time to himself. He thinks being a dad means sitting in the same room watching tv or reading/playing with her in her room for an hour every couple of days. I confront him and ask him to come up with family activities and he throws it in my face saying we dont have money for that, I tell him we dont need money to be together. I feel like a single mom/handy man/take care of everything person while he gets to stay the same childish and unresponsible person he was when we met. He lives off his parents and has NO motivation, he works 4 to midnight and sleeps all day til 1 and hangs around the house. I'm tired of initiating everything, from family time to intimacy. My family feels I need to get out while I can but I feel so guilty because he tells me if I leave him he will drink himself to death and he can't live without me/he's obsessed with me. My mom told me not to end up like her in a marriage of 17 years where she put everyones happiness over her own, she's been remarried for 9 years and is the happiest ive ever seen her. I can't keep feeling like I'm settling with someone who doesn't appreciate me and takes me for granted, I KNOW he's never going to change because it's been 5 years and he's still the same. I'm scared that I will disrupt my daughters life (his parents pay for her schooing, our house, EVERYTHING! Which I HATE!) and I still have love for him and don't want to hurt him but I feel like it's just familiarty. I would love to hear advice from mother's who've seperated from their kids fathers. I know if I want to be self-sufficient and happy I need to move on but I feel so trapped.