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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Do you have a GPS tracker on your husband's phone?

Posted by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:21 AM
  • 173 Replies

I currently have some trust issues with my husband due to some things that happened during our separation, so I want him to put a GPS tracker on his phone so I know where he is at all times.  After the lies and cheating I caught him in, I think he should do whatever he can to help me get past my trust issues.  Often times he won't call (says there's no service at his work, his phone was dead or he's extremely busy) and I can't get a hold of him, so my mind starts to wonder (and these are mainly for times when he's on call and ends up having to work a graveyard shift), in addition to me wondering if he is okay or not (he's pulled over and slept on the side of the road before in his car.)  He thinks it's degrading and won't do it, but that to me makes me think he's hiding something.  He just wants to move back home so I know he comes home every night, but my ex-husband lived at home and he still managed to cheat on me with several women during our marriage!  But aside from the trust issues, I think its a great tool for both of us so we always know where each other is.  I have it on my son's phone and it just gives me a sense of security. 

by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:21 AM
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Replies (1-10):
Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:23 AM

My husband does not have a cell phone


furbabymum
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:26 AM
13 moms liked this

 Wow, nuts. I can't imagine asking my DH to do that. I can't imagine him asking me to do that. No, I'm not going to GPS track my DH. Yes, I have forgiven my DH for cheating.

I see several issues here. You've had a previous relationship that involved cheating. Your current relationship involves cheating. You've got extreme insecurity and imo co-dependence issues.

To me, this is you. Yes, it's partially him but mostly you. You pick shitty men. I wouldn't say that if it was just the one but it's not just the one and it's not just one occurance. They cheat multiple times, you stay and go all crazy. Then you move on to someone else who is going to do the same thing to you. So what's up with you? Go to counseling and figure that out.

Otherwise openess and communication are needed to overcome cheating. I checked my DH's email and phone quite often in the beginning. We went to counseling together, and separate. We worked on issues. He did things to change himself. Then at one point I realized I just had to make the decision to trust him again. He'd done everything he could to earn my trust back and now I had to decide if I was going to or not. I chose to trust and I don't regret it. I don't check his phone or anything now, because I have trust.

Anyway, so you need to work through this but GPS tracking him and going crazy, not the way.

KandC1115
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:55 AM
2 moms liked this

I would never. Of course I have no reason to. We hide nothing from each other. A relationship full of secrets and lies is no relationship. If you feel you have to start tracking someone's movements then I say it's time to remove yourself from the situation. 

ebmars2681
by Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 11:59 AM
1 mom liked this

i wouldn't have the heart to ask lol.  if you do this, is there a guarantee that this will work?  if he knows that he has a tracking device, and if he is cheating, he will find another way.

palike
by New Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 12:03 PM

 

Quoting furbabymum:

 Wow, nuts. I can't imagine asking my DH to do that. I can't imagine him asking me to do that. No, I'm not going to GPS track my DH. Yes, I have forgiven my DH for cheating.

I see several issues here. You've had a previous relationship that involved cheating. Your current relationship involves cheating. You've got extreme insecurity and imo co-dependence issues.

To me, this is you. Yes, it's partially him but mostly you. You pick shitty men. I wouldn't say that if it was just the one but it's not just the one and it's not just one occurance. They cheat multiple times, you stay and go all crazy. Then you move on to someone else who is going to do the same thing to you. So what's up with you? Go to counseling and figure that out.

Otherwise openess and communication are needed to overcome cheating. I checked my DH's email and phone quite often in the beginning. We went to counseling together, and separate. We worked on issues. He did things to change himself. Then at one point I realized I just had to make the decision to trust him again. He'd done everything he could to earn my trust back and now I had to decide if I was going to or not. I chose to trust and I don't regret it. I don't check his phone or anything now, because I have trust.

Anyway, so you need to work through this but GPS tracking him and going crazy, not the way.

Thank you for your advice.  But actually, my current husband is nothing like my ex.  They are night and day and I NEVER had any issues of insecurity while dating him even after all my ex did to me (we did not divorce over the cheating btw as I found that out after the fact).  My current husband has NOT cheated multiple times.  We were separated and we both were almost ready to file, at which point he started talking to someone and says he only kissed her.  Before finding that out, however, I had an epiphany to make a change to our situation and we've been working on things since then, but I call it cheating because we both agreed NOT to date/talk to anyone during our separation.  He broke that trust and I was VERY hurt as he is the one person I knew would never do that to me, like my ex did.  Our separation had nothing to do with cheating, or he and I for that matter.  He and I were great together actually.  It was all related to my ex and my boys and not having boundaries acceptable to my current husband, making him feel low priority.  Just wanted to clear that up.  Unfortunately, his actions after leaving and even before (gig-related, no cheating) have affected me and these are all things he must face and together help me to get through it, just like I have to make some changes for him as well so he is comfortable in coming back home.  And yes, I am in counseling, and he is planning to join me in my session today if he can get away from work.  I want to get over my trust issues, but I need his help and I don't want to be naive.

TommyAbby
by Melissa on Jul. 17, 2014 at 12:14 PM
2 moms liked this

You need to stay in therapy. He shouldn't have to wear a dog collar & leash to appease your mind. You should be learning to trust him. 

And if you two were so great, why the seperation? Why did he move out? Or did you kick him out?



Quoting palike:


Quoting furbabymum:

 Wow, nuts. I can't imagine asking my DH to do that. I can't imagine him asking me to do that. No, I'm not going to GPS track my DH. Yes, I have forgiven my DH for cheating.

I see several issues here. You've had a previous relationship that involved cheating. Your current relationship involves cheating. You've got extreme insecurity and imo co-dependence issues.

To me, this is you. Yes, it's partially him but mostly you. You pick shitty men. I wouldn't say that if it was just the one but it's not just the one and it's not just one occurance. They cheat multiple times, you stay and go all crazy. Then you move on to someone else who is going to do the same thing to you. So what's up with you? Go to counseling and figure that out.

Otherwise openess and communication are needed to overcome cheating. I checked my DH's email and phone quite often in the beginning. We went to counseling together, and separate. We worked on issues. He did things to change himself. Then at one point I realized I just had to make the decision to trust him again. He'd done everything he could to earn my trust back and now I had to decide if I was going to or not. I chose to trust and I don't regret it. I don't check his phone or anything now, because I have trust.

Anyway, so you need to work through this but GPS tracking him and going crazy, not the way.

Thank you for your advice.  But actually, my current husband is nothing like my ex.  They are night and day and I NEVER had any issues of insecurity while dating him even after all my ex did to me (we did not divorce over the cheating btw as I found that out after the fact).  My current husband has NOT cheated multiple times.  We were separated and we both were almost ready to file, at which point he started talking to someone and says he only kissed her.  Before finding that out, however, I had an epiphany to make a change to our situation and we've been working on things since then, but I call it cheating because we both agreed NOT to date/talk to anyone during our separation.  He broke that trust and I was VERY hurt as he is the one person I knew would never do that to me, like my ex did.  Our separation had nothing to do with cheating, or he and I for that matter.  He and I were great together actually.  It was all related to my ex and my boys and not having boundaries acceptable to my current husband, making him feel low priority.  Just wanted to clear that up.  Unfortunately, his actions after leaving and even before (gig-related, no cheating) have affected me and these are all things he must face and together help me to get through it, just like I have to make some changes for him as well so he is comfortable in coming back home.  And yes, I am in counseling, and he is planning to join me in my session today if he can get away from work.  I want to get over my trust issues, but I need his help and I don't want to be naive.


3xangel
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 12:15 PM
4 moms liked this
Yikes 😳😳😳
You might as well just get a divorce. I'm all about being transparent, but the GPS part is just over the top. If you two can't bring back the trust through marriage counseling & being truthful to each other, then there's nothing to save. I'll be damned if I spend my days tracking a grown man.
furbabymum
by on Jul. 17, 2014 at 12:18 PM

 I do not understand, if what you are saying is true, why you want to GPS his phone. Someone is crazy here, maybe it's me.

Quoting palike:

 

Quoting furbabymum:

 Wow, nuts. I can't imagine asking my DH to do that. I can't imagine him asking me to do that. No, I'm not going to GPS track my DH. Yes, I have forgiven my DH for cheating.

I see several issues here. You've had a previous relationship that involved cheating. Your current relationship involves cheating. You've got extreme insecurity and imo co-dependence issues.

To me, this is you. Yes, it's partially him but mostly you. You pick shitty men. I wouldn't say that if it was just the one but it's not just the one and it's not just one occurance. They cheat multiple times, you stay and go all crazy. Then you move on to someone else who is going to do the same thing to you. So what's up with you? Go to counseling and figure that out.

Otherwise openess and communication are needed to overcome cheating. I checked my DH's email and phone quite often in the beginning. We went to counseling together, and separate. We worked on issues. He did things to change himself. Then at one point I realized I just had to make the decision to trust him again. He'd done everything he could to earn my trust back and now I had to decide if I was going to or not. I chose to trust and I don't regret it. I don't check his phone or anything now, because I have trust.

Anyway, so you need to work through this but GPS tracking him and going crazy, not the way.

Thank you for your advice.  But actually, my current husband is nothing like my ex.  They are night and day and I NEVER had any issues of insecurity while dating him even after all my ex did to me (we did not divorce over the cheating btw as I found that out after the fact).  My current husband has NOT cheated multiple times.  We were separated and we both were almost ready to file, at which point he started talking to someone and says he only kissed her.  Before finding that out, however, I had an epiphany to make a change to our situation and we've been working on things since then, but I call it cheating because we both agreed NOT to date/talk to anyone during our separation.  He broke that trust and I was VERY hurt as he is the one person I knew would never do that to me, like my ex did.  Our separation had nothing to do with cheating, or he and I for that matter.  He and I were great together actually.  It was all related to my ex and my boys and not having boundaries acceptable to my current husband, making him feel low priority.  Just wanted to clear that up.  Unfortunately, his actions after leaving and even before (gig-related, no cheating) have affected me and these are all things he must face and together help me to get through it, just like I have to make some changes for him as well so he is comfortable in coming back home.  And yes, I am in counseling, and he is planning to join me in my session today if he can get away from work.  I want to get over my trust issues, but I need his help and I don't want to be naive.

 

tashafry
by New Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 12:20 PM
Nope. I would never ask him to do that.
ambcortez
by Bronze Member on Jul. 17, 2014 at 12:23 PM
1 mom liked this

We installed one on both of our phones when we moved out of state because I kept getting turned around with my actual GPS directions. So he would help me out with the tracker. The kids used to like watching him go from A to B sometimes. It came in handy when I had a bad wreck a few years ago and didn't know where I was. He was able to call my dad and give him my exact location.

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