12 Steps to a Great Quickie Without the Kids Having a Clue
Let's face it, if you've got kids, sometimes having a quickie is the ONLY way you're going to have sex. And it's the smart, engaged couple who takes advantage of those spontaneous moments to sneak away for a little intensive bonding. Even if you have the time and energy for longer lovemaking sessions, a brief tryst is a fun way to keep that sexual fire lit in your marraige. But just because it's a quickie doesn't mean it has to be unsatisfying. There are many ways to get the most out of quickies.
Sex doesn't necessarily start when you take your clothes off -- it beings as soon as your mind goes there. If you’re feeling hot and bothered and expect to see your man soon, think about the sexy scenario before it happens. "Visualizing intimacy before engaging in sex will heighten your level of arousal and put you closer to sexual satisfaction," says Dr. Scott Haltzman, an assistant professor of psychiatry at Brown University and author of The Secrets of Happily Married Men.
Don't Aim for the Big O
Sex educator and founder of Touch of Flavor Cassie Fuller says her most important tip is to forget about having an orgasm. "If you have only a few minutes to fool around, just have fun with it," she advises. "Don't try to push for an orgasm. It takes the average female 15 to 30 minutes to climax, so ... if you make an orgasm the goal, you will only end up frustrating each other."
You can get yourself and your lover worked up just by flirting long before you steal those few minutes alone. Letting him know you're game is part of the fun. And it's not the worst thing in the world for your kids to see Mommy and Daddy acting playful and affectionate around each other. All the better if you have a special code, or, um, Bat Signal, to let him know you're up for some play.
Have Sex in the Afternoon
Debbie Tideman, author of The X Spot Orgasm, suggests having sex in the afternoon when your sex drives are typically at their peak. Maybe during the kids' naptime!
Or! Have Sex in the Morning Because He's So Ready
Or you could take advantage of that unique condition men often wake up with first thing in the morning. Jump on that! I mean -- well, you know. He's prepped and ready for takeoff. Have fun if you manage to wake up before the kids do.
Pump Up the Volume on Everything
Cosmo says if you're going for a short lovemaking session, turn up the intensity. "To amplify an already-intense quickie, take all your behaviors up a notch. If you usually nibble at his ear, bite him gently. Exchange caressing his butt cheeks for a firm slap."
Hey -- keep your head in the game! This is going to be over before you know it, so don't let your mind wander. "Whether you’re trying to reach a climax before the baby wakes or before the pot roast comes out of the oven, or trying to maximize on shower time before your toddler comes banging on the door, a quickie is a great exercise in the power of concentration," says relationship coach Denise J. Charles, author of How To Have Mind-Blowing Sex Without Losing Your Brain. "If you want to play hard at sex in record time, then it will involve every enthusiastic fiber of your being; no holds barred!"
Quiet That Bed
Tighten your bed's frame and move it away from the wall so your kids don't hear those tell-tale sqeaking sounds. Not that they necessarily know what those sounds mean (depending on how old they are), but you don't want to wake anyone or bring their attention to the fact that you've suddenly disappeared together. Maybe turn on the TV or some music or a loud fan. OR! Have sex somewhere new -- against the dryer in the laundry room, over the armchair in the living room, you get the idea.
Sex educator Cassie Fuller recommends using some kind of lubricant since you're pressed for time. "If you are trying to have a quickie, you most likely don't have enough time for her to get warmed up and wet," she explains. "This is an easy fix: Use some lube. Having sex, especially fast-paced sex, without the proper lubrication can lead to discomfort and chafing. You don't want that five-minute roll in the hay to be something that makes one or both of you uncomfortable all day."
Try New Positions
The right position can make your quickie more satisfying, so this is a good opportunity for trying something new ... like the Backstairs Boogaloo! Lean up againt a chair, counter top, or wall and let him enter you from behind.
Why not throw a vibrator into the mix? That could make your session even more thrilling.
Leave Your Clothes On
"You don't have much time, so why waste it on taking off clothing you're going to have to put back on? There are plenty of good positions and fun things you can do while still being mostly dressed," says sex educator Cassie Fuller. Plus, being partially dressed can be hot because of what you can't see.
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