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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

31 years old, 21 weeks pregnant, husband wants divorce

Posted by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:22 PM
  • 125 Replies
I never thought that my husband and I would have a child together. He has two from is previous marriage. This is both of ours second marriage. We have known each other for 10 years, together for 6, married for almost 3 years. We promised each other that no matter what happens, we would work things out between us. So I ended up getting pregnant with my first child and we both were scared. We were doing fine, fought about money, but who doesn't lol. I would ask him for help with names and help me with going though the baby items that were give to us. He said a few weeks ago that he didn't really want another child. Our alone time keep decreasing, cuddles were not all the time, but when we would, I felt love. Well last week we went to visit his sick grandpa, it was hard. We get back, to our home and get ready to go to the ultrasound appointment. We find out that we're having a girl, I was happy, he was indifferent. We told his family and mine that day. The. Wednesday after work, I come home and I go to give him a hug and kiss, he pulls away and says not now. I was shocked. We had dinner with his mom and dad that night, after dinner we got to our room to talk. He looks at me and said the words that we swore to one another never to say. He wants a divorce. I was shocked, he just said that he loves me, but doesn't love me, he feel in love with another woman and that all they have done is talk. All I could do was look at him and said "what? Why?" He said "it's done". I even said how about we do counseling, said no he is done, but will wait till the baby is born to file the paperwork. After that, he left to stay with his sister and I'm in a state with just friends and a wonderful job that I love. He says I need to stay here so he can be a part of the baby's life that it's important to him. I am so alone and scared, it's hard to look at things and see him and myself together. I don't know how I'm going to raise my daughter, how I can make it with my small check from work. I just don't know what to do. I can hardly eat now, every time I now get sick.
by on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:22 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Serenanature
by New Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:34 PM
The only problem with moving back home with my mom, there are no jobs, my town is dead. The closest one that may have any jobs is 2 hours one way. I have friends here who want to help me. My employer has also been very kind and helpful when he and his wife found out.

His previous marriage ended with his ex wife doing the cheating. He always said he hates cheaters and yet now he's with them. This woman that he fell in love with is an old ex girlfriend from high school, they've been emailing one another for years, then recently they would text and then he's had lunches with her and he never told me. We swore to never keep things hidden from one another.

I'm trying to be strong, I really am. I look at the money that I make and I just can't figure out how my daughter and I will make it. Yea he says he will help, but for how long, till his girlfriend tells him to stop. He keeps saying he will pay for my phone, pay my car payment till it's paid for, and during that time pay my car insurance. I worry about health insurance for myself, I'm not in the best of health.

I don't even know how I will explain it to my daughter when she ask why are you and dad my living together or married?
ShellsRoper83
by New Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:40 PM
11 moms liked this
All I can say is, I'm praying for you. I'm so sorry you have to go through this. Pray and God will provide and take care of you and your daughter. Also, your church can probably help ya'll as well. Hugs!
meagan517
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 3:52 PM
10 moms liked this
There are a few things you can do. Child support, file for food stamps, Medicaid for the baby which will pay for formula and baby food. So sorry I hate cheaters
otoole
by Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:01 PM
4 moms liked this
I am so sorry. I can't imagine what you are going through.
You are so strong already. And you will get through this, start talking to people tell them what is going on and they will tell you how to get things sorted.
I only learnt this in the past year I moved back home with a toddler and pregnant. It was the most scary thing ever and at times lonely but I found people talk to you when your pregnant or with a child. And the little things you tell them you will be suprised at the amount of other mums who have gone through something similar. Good luck mama. Everything will fall into place
MagicTemptation
by Christina on Jul. 19, 2014 at 4:47 PM
12 moms liked this

I call BS on him. It is so important to him that he be in his daughter's life and he still loves you, just not in love but he won't even think of the idea of counseling? 

Look into alimony for your state to see if you qualify. File child support as soon as you can. I am sorry you are going through this.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jul. 19, 2014 at 5:57 PM
12 moms liked this
Don't worry too far ahead about what you tell your daughter. Start getting legal advice. Don't sign anything until some one on your behalf looks at it. Start saving money, look into other living options, make sure part of the divorce agreement includes health care for your child, as well as child support.
UCFknight
by Silver Member on Jul. 19, 2014 at 8:57 PM
5 moms liked this

Love this! I would get legal council sooner than later. You should file, look into getting not only child support, but spousal support as well. I'm sorry you are having to go through this, but definitely start saving if you can! 

Quoting Hottmomma607: Don't worry too far ahead about what you tell your daughter. Start getting legal advice. Don't sign anything until some one on your behalf looks at it. Start saving money, look into other living options, make sure part of the divorce agreement includes health care for your child, as well as child support.


thisisbad
by New Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 2:29 AM
14 moms liked this
Geeze! That is awful sweetie! Sorry if you love him but good riddance!

First, I agree about the legal council but this bit is pricey. I would tell him you agree to the divorce but he is to pay the full cost of the divorce attorney and paperwork. It is only fair if he is the one that wants it. My guess is that he will be willing because the little poaching harlot on the other end is most likely the one aggressively pushing him in this direction. In the divorce stipulate the split cost of medical care, child-care, future education costs along with a monthly child support payment.

After that, let me tell you, as a parent of two, there is very little you truly need to bring a baby home and do a good job caring for them. Three quarters of all the stuff they sell new moms is a bunch of hype. Let your fam throw you a baby shower. tell 'em to buy you a car seat, snap-and-go, crib, diapers, wipes, pacifiers and onesies. Seriously, you are good to go! Nurse her and you'll avoid the bottle drama for a bit. (You'll also end up with a baby with a healthier immune system AND save jillions on formula! Oh yeah, and shed the baby weight sooner!) Do you have any local family that could help you with childcare after your maternity leave? This will be your biggest expense most likely but thousands and thousands of women make it work! And remember in 6 years, which will be the fastest (and most amazing) 6 years of your life, trust me, she'll start kindergarten and life gets so easy once they're in school and you can take advantage of the public school system's after-school programs, etc. you've got this nailed already girl! You can do this!!!

Keep us posted!
booaura
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 2:58 AM
2 moms liked this
Sorry you're going through this.
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ahleesha14
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:38 AM
1 mom liked this

wow. I am sorry you are going through that. Do you have your family to help you out? Things will get better. Its going to be hard once the baby is born because you will have to see him. If he wants to see the baby at all. It does happy people do fall in love with other people its sucks and it hurts. You can get through this though. 

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