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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Whats your opinion?

Posted by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 5:23 AM
  • 47 Replies
Do you think when your married that their should be privacy?
Do you think its okay or not okay for your spouse to look through your phone? Or check your fb messages?

My opinion when married if your spouse says no you cant look through my phone i deserve my privacy, i see that as they have something to hide. My husband can check my stuff anytime i got nothing to hide. But then again i usually tell him everything so he never has a reason to check. But he wont let me look at his phone. Throws the i deserve my privacy line at me every time.
by on Jul. 20, 2014 at 5:23 AM
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Replies (1-10):
MixedCooke
by Silver Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 5:53 AM
4 moms liked this
I don't think a married couple should have secrets.
Linard-1991
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 6:10 AM
I feel the same way. I tell my dh everything. He takes my phone i say nothing. I grab his phone he grabs it and says what are you doing.. Its annoying

Quoting MixedCooke: I don't think a married couple should have secrets.
booaura
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 6:45 AM
7 moms liked this
I think grammar is important.


Everyone deserves privacy. You don't automatically give that up when you get married. That doesn't mean secrets are ok, but snooping is wrong. If you see a desire for privacy as something to hide, you clearly don't trust him to begin with. I have no need to snoop through dh's phone. He has no no need to go through mine, because we trust each other.
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ReadWriteLuv
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Allright 2015, you heinous bitch. Bring it on!
Yesterday at 5:22 PM
by Casey on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:07 AM
2 moms liked this

I would be FURIOUS if my husband looked through my things, not because I have anything to hide, but because I DO have a right to privacy. Looking through things indicates a lack of trust, is immature, and is indicative of a larger problem. I don't have time or patience for other people's insecurities. Insecurity is the least attractive feature in any mate.

MonarchMom22
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:13 AM

this is not an issue for us as we use each other's phone, laptop, iPad, etc. as needed.  Passwords are known to both, and really only used in case of loss or theft.  Nothing to hide, no desire to explore.  

Neither of us do much social media - only for work purposes.  If I want to tell someone something privately I would never it do through FB or social.  I do it face to face.  There is no other true privacy.

If husband thought he needed to "look through" my phone, or vice versa, that would be a sign to me that something wasn't secure or healthy in our relationship.

Hottmomma607
by Trica on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:20 AM
2 moms liked this
*sigh* People confuse privacy with lack of trust. Two different things!
If you can't personal privacy in a marriage/relationship then you might as well not be in a relationship.
Lacking trust that you have a need to go through your spouse's phone, emails you have serious issues. Thinking personal privacy means you are hiding something? You got issues. IJS


Quoting ReadWriteLuv:

I would be FURIOUS if my husband looked through my things, not because I have anything to hide, but because I DO have a right to privacy. Looking through things indicates a lack of trust, is immature, and is indicative of a larger problem. I don't have time or patience for other people's insecurities. Insecurity is the least attractive feature in any mate.

ahleesha14
by Bronze Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 10:25 AM

I think you should have privacy. It just means he doesn't trust you

BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:07 PM

We are completely transparent in our relationship.  No secrets, we can check each others stuff, we don't hide anything from each other. 

MMerrill
by Melissa on Jul. 20, 2014 at 12:21 PM
3 moms liked this

I think there is a middle ground.

I can get on my husbands phone/FB/email and look through it at any time and he wouldn't give it a second thought and vice versa... he can look through mine at any time.

It's not that we don't trust each other, it's that we both want one another to know we are an open book and have nothing to hide.  EVER.

However, if you were going as far as putting a spy app, GPS or something similar on your significant others phone, etc, I think that is going a little overboard.


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Linard-1991
by Member on Jul. 20, 2014 at 4:26 PM
I will admit I'm insecure due to my past being really messed up. He knew that when we got married. I don't take his phone to look through his texts, i took it to play games because my phone died.. Yet he still grabbed it & said he deserves privacy.
I get not everyone is alike. So i just wanted to see what others think on the situation.
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