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Maybe I'm not a good person, but this is how I feel

Posted by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:14 AM
  • 8 Replies


  Don't know how to start.... been married for 18 years, he is an awesome guy, but not show to much affection, I feel lonely, I want to feel wanted,  not much touching, not cuddle at all.... I'm lost..... don't know what is going on.... sex.......  not really!  kiss.....  OMG  feel super guilty, I want to have a kiss affair, just a kiss, a big kis that  I feel I make love just with that kiss....  I only want a kiss. I know is wroing to think kissing another men, but it's not going to happen anyway, so I allow myself to fantasize this,  very stupid I am!

I do tell him now and then that I think we are not in the same ship, he said that we are, sometimes I asked him, " are you ok", do you love me" are you happy"..... he is always very stress from work, all the time, I always try to talk to him about his work the other day he did talk about it and vent a bit, I listen, don't know much about it but I listen I want him to get it out his chest. I believe he loves me and I don't want to leave that's not the case,  I love my family, but  I want more affection from him, not lovely words, nothing. He does work hard and I know he does it for us, so maybe it's me maybe I am a bad person, who only thinks about love and been touch, sex and kiss, when the reality is that we need to focus in keeping this family going and kids and house, so yes, it may be me been selfish and a bad person...... oh well, need to vent. I don't have a fried to talk about it so I choose here!  thank you!


by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:14 AM
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Replies (1-8):
by Bronze Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 10:55 AM

No need to feel selfish.  You have your needs.  Just know that you have been together for a long time.  There is a reason.  Is it worth saving?  Is this just a phase in your relationship or has it always been like this?  Maybe he really is very stressed.  I know I don't feel all lovey, and neither does DH when we have a lot going on at work.  I agree with serenitycat, also.  Make sure you show appreciation for what he does.  You know that old saying- Give to get?

by Marianne on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:33 AM
1 mom liked this

 I also agree that once you start showing love, affection, and appreciation to him, he'll begin to do the same for you. Have you told him about this? Does he know how you feel about needing that affection? He can't change if he doesn't know he needs to.

by Brenda on Jul. 23, 2014 at 12:57 PM

I agree show it and then it will be returned to you or at least he should do it.. I would at least try and see what happens. Good luck!

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 2:29 PM


 photo LindaHollyJollyPinkChristmas_zps9feaf846.gif 

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 2:43 PM

Hi doll I have been married for 17 years also and my husband is a DEA police officer and he is stressed all the time too.You are not being selfish you just want a little loving no shame there. Guys get in a funk just like we do all the time . Your man is probally secure in your relationship and by the end of the day he is tapped out and unfortunately your the last person on the list to please so you get shafted . Keep trying and hopefully he starts to give it up soon lol. Hang in there doll  

by Platinum Member on Jul. 23, 2014 at 2:45 PM

 His Needs, Her Needs

by on Jul. 23, 2014 at 11:42 PM

Well, thank you all for your replying, .......  I think that I give a lot,  but maybe I need to do things different too...


by on Jul. 24, 2014 at 12:09 AM

If you initiate and start kissing him will he  not at least kiss you back and if you initiate sex will he go along with it?  Either way you need to talk to him more detailed and let him know what is really important to you and let him know what you DO appreciate and love about him and that means a lot to you and how lucky you are to have him and all he does for you and yet it would also mean more than you can say if he would kiss and be more affectioonate and sexual with you more often 

But if I were you if you haven't already I would certainly try initiating it when I want and how I want it myself and see if I can get him to go along with it. Good luck hugs

View Full Size Image YVONNE

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