No ring.. What's the point if it's not going anywhere?!
I guess I'm hoping to reach out to woman who have perhaps been in the same situation before finally getting a ring...
SO and I have been together for 3 years, to cut a very long story short, I guess you can say that I have given more to this relationship in terms of sacrifices and changes than he has (not that it's a competition).
I'm happy with our relationship, it's not perfect but I still love it. I've been ready for marriage for a while now.
He has several issues
- Money; I only work PT at the moment, been looking for a FT job for awhile, so I'm optimistic that our current financial situation isn't a forever thing.
- He say's when we're not 'fighting' all the time he'll want to get married. He has a very high conflict ex (she's high functioning borderline disorder) who he has a daughter with, for the past 3 years she has consistently caused us stress, I am willing to accept that that's the way it will always be and trust that SO and I will always get through it (we have recently managed to get through false sexual abuse accusations together as a united couple, although it WAS stressful). The ex is the main source of contention for us, hence I think we're always going to be 'fighting'.
- He keeps bringing up his parents marriage which in his eyes was perfect! But his mother told me that her and her late husband, although most certainly were undeniably in love and great together most of the time, had many row's (not abusive) and came close to divorce a few times, however they kept all that from their sons, hence why SO has a 'fairytale' type veiw of marriage, which our 'fighting' of course doesn't fit in with his view.
Now, for us, our fighting USED to be bad! (Not abusive), we weren't very good at discussing things, we were thretening breaking up every fortnight. It was bad, even I wouldn't want to turn that into a marriage. But for the past year we have grown together SOOO much! Our 'fighting' now, is mostly just grumpiness and frustration, which in my mind... has to be normal, especially given the stress we have to deal with (the ex).
I'm at that point where I feel... if he doesn't feel he can get married now (not today of course), if he has all these issues... what's the point in continuing this relationship?!?! I just feel like this is as good as we'll get, things aren't perfect but for me, they're pretty damn good!!
I WANT SOOOO bad to get married to someone one day!
Am I being too impatient? When does one *KNOW* when to give up waiting??
I know that I don't want to work towards his idealized PERFECT relationship in order to get a ring, I'm not going to bite my tongue when his ex causes us stress and pretend I'm happy, I SPEAK my mind, if she's being a dick and trying to mess with OUR life, I'ma put my foot down!
Sorry, I wrote a novel, part vent, part plea for help and advice, if you read it all and can make sense of it, thank you so much xx