Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

my husband wants to separate....

Posted by on Aug. 1, 2014 at 1:33 AM
  • 81 Replies
Im so heartbroken. It started as a stupid arguement and it went way too far.. so long story short, I told him how I felt, he got angry, I told him to get out, then he told me to get out, then he locked himself in the bathroom for almost an hour, he was lying on the floor, he was still mad, then he says "I think we should separate".

I have been crying ever since he said those words... I cannot sleep. I have 2 kids. Im 19. Been married 2 years. Idk what to do...
by on Aug. 1, 2014 at 1:33 AM
Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Replies (1-10):
hismommy2010
by on Aug. 1, 2014 at 1:55 AM
1 mom liked this
Is he young as well? The first time i married, i was 18 - he was also. Our marriage had alot of that and him cheating. I think its the age. No real advice
Just hang in there
mrs_torres2629
by Member on Aug. 1, 2014 at 4:04 AM
Yes he's 21.

Quoting hismommy2010: Is he young as well? The first time i married, i was 18 - he was also. Our marriage had alot of that and him cheating. I think its the age. No real advice
Just hang in there
little.worthen
by Tessie on Aug. 1, 2014 at 4:06 AM
Do you think he's serious? It sounds like he might have just said it because he was irritated with the situation and probably the fact that you kicked him out..
mrs_torres2629
by Member on Aug. 1, 2014 at 6:39 AM
He seems serious. Hes really stubborn and he kept saying he just can't do it anymore. And I said are u still mad? And he said no. But if he wasnt mad then he would've gotten over it already. He just left for work a little while ago. He just walked out. Hes hard to read so idk if he's going to text me later saying im sorry idk what I was thinking or nothing at all. Hes so dramatic.

Quoting little.worthen: Do you think he's serious? It sounds like he might have just said it because he was irritated with the situation and probably the fact that you kicked him out..
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Aug. 1, 2014 at 7:52 AM
14 moms liked this

 as my SO said last week, "Playing grown up is fun until the reality of being a grown up hits"

19, married 2 years, 2 kids... yikes. What examples of marriage and parenting do you and he have? Do you have parents who can support you (emotionally, both of you) and guide you? By the end of 2 years of marriage, the honeymoon phase is well over.

If it all started over a stupid arguement, I am guessing neither of you has the skills to talk through your issues, and I don't mean that to be a criticism. I think it takes a long time and a bit of maturity to learn how to deal with stuff without making stupid little things blow up into big arguments, especially in light of your personalities, and how you learned to handle conflict in the past. I suggest counseling. If you can't pay, maybe your pastor can help.

If he is the only one working to provide for the family, he probably feels an incredible burden. Two kids by the age of 21.... that's not easy.

Good luck!

TommyAbby
by Melissa on Aug. 1, 2014 at 8:04 AM
1 mom liked this

Why the rush to get married? 
You were only 17 FFS.


And what did you tell him that pushed him? You said you told him how you felt.. 

 

UCFknight
by Silver Member on Aug. 1, 2014 at 8:13 AM
1 mom liked this

Oh my. I'm sorry to hear this. What was said that made this go this far? You both are still so young! Learning how to communicate takes time. How do you guys handle discussions? Just wait till tempers have calmed down, and sit down and talk. You both need to be able to express your feelings to one another, without the other person getting angry and going crazy. The key in communicating is also being a good listener. You both have lots of growing up to do. Find communication books and start reading them. If you can afford counseling, go, or find a pastor to meet with.

mrs_torres2629
by Member on Aug. 1, 2014 at 8:22 AM
I try to sit and talk with him but he has a short temper. And he blows me off when I try to talk to him. I ask him what's wrong and why does he feel this way, then he says that he doesn't wanna talk. So its miscommunication and he just is tired of arguing.

Quoting UCFknight:

Oh my. I'm sorry to hear this. What was said that made this go this far? You both are still so young! Learning how to communicate takes time. How do you guys handle discussions? Just wait till tempers have calmed down, and sit down and talk. You both need to be able to express your feelings to one another, without the other person getting angry and going crazy. The key in communicating is also being a good listener. You both have lots of growing up to do. Find communication books and start reading them. If you can afford counseling, go, or find a pastor to meet with.

SlightlyPerfect
Report
Yesterday at 10:16 PM
by Slightly Perfect on Aug. 1, 2014 at 8:25 AM
Where the hell has your dad been?
UCFknight
by Silver Member on Aug. 1, 2014 at 8:34 AM

Short temperaments are very hard to work with communicating. If or when you see him getting heated, just say I can see things are not getting through right now. Let's take a break till we can talk without getting so upset. I want to be able to hear you, and not the anger talking. And he needs to understand. It's not arguing. Adults have discussions...often. He needs to learn how to talk and listen like a grown up, and not a hot headed teenager.

Has he Always had a short temper? How have you guys gone two years married without really communicating?

Quoting mrs_torres2629: I try to sit and talk with him but he has a short temper. And he blows me off when I try to talk to him. I ask him what's wrong and why does he feel this way, then he says that he doesn't wanna talk. So its miscommunication and he just is tired of arguing.
Quoting UCFknight:

Oh my. I'm sorry to hear this. What was said that made this go this far? You both are still so young! Learning how to communicate takes time. How do you guys handle discussions? Just wait till tempers have calmed down, and sit down and talk. You both need to be able to express your feelings to one another, without the other person getting angry and going crazy. The key in communicating is also being a good listener. You both have lots of growing up to do. Find communication books and start reading them. If you can afford counseling, go, or find a pastor to meet with.


Add your quick reply below:
You must be a member to reply to this post.
Join the Meeting Place for Moms!
Talk to other moms, share advice, and have fun!

(minimum 6 characters)

close Join now to connect to
other members!
Connect with Facebook or Sign Up Using Email

Already Joined? LOG IN