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Mad at Sleep-Talking??

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 3:06 PM
  • 14 Replies

Last week me and my DH had an argument because he spent the entire morning ignoring me and not speaking to me.  When I asked him what was wrong, he said he was mad at me for something I said in my sleep.  I asked him what I said and he told me that I had said "Pedro I love you" in my sleep.  Pedro is my ex-husband, who passed away in March (we were divorced before he died).  I told my DH I thought that was a little silly seeing as how he can't possibly think there is an affair (he's dead) and he can't hold me responsible for something that I have no control over (what I say when I'm asleep).  I told him I didn't remember having any dream about my ex, which was true, and that there are no lingering feelings for him.  But he was really angry at me and said, "Well, you SAID it" but I feel like if I'm asleep, you can't hold me accountable for what I say.  Has this ever happened to anyone?!  Would you be mad if your DH said something to another woman in his sleep??

by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 3:06 PM
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by Ruby Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 3:22 PM

I would be upset yes, and I'd talk to him about it but I wouldn't hold it against him either.  I'm sure DH will always have feelings for his ex.  He says no, but I don't believe him.....anyways, if he does he can't help how he feels.  Yes, it would hurt me but I wouldn't be mad at him.  He chose me, he loves me, and he's not going anywhere so there's no reason to be angry.  I can see why your DH is upset but he's being childish by holding it against you.

by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 3:33 PM

 I was once unreasonably pissed off at my DH because I dreamed that he cheated. So yeah, lol

I'd be rather hurt if my DH was sleep talking about other women personally. Dreams are where your subconcious is free.

by Marianne on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:17 PM

 I don't believe that dreams mean anything. I never have. I probably would be ticked off if I found out my DH was having a dream about a former lover and said "I love you" to her, but I wouldn't hold it against him. I know that in real life, he loves only me :)

by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:35 PM

Hm. That is a tough one. But most likely I would not be too upset, maybe a little hurt at first because it was such a term of endearment, but at the same time, it was not like he was muttering it on the phone or when he was awake.

My Husband has a tendency to sleep talk when he is extremely tired, which is a lot due to his job. I remember even first when we were dating the silly things he would say in his sleep...mostly numbers pertaining to missions and random numbers throughout his day... I remember him muttering something like "436 Ammo..." or some odd thing it in the very beginning. It always cracked me up...and I would giggle about it.

Now, he has never ever said anything remotely close to referring to another woman, and if he did I would probably question the ever loving cr** out of him. Then I would tease him. Again, I would suppose if it was a real life person- like an ex or coworker, that would be different, but if he was like "Mmm... Jennifer Anniston...mmmm " I would tease him and laugh, and wouldn't care. Probably tell him to shush it because he was interrupting my time with Vin Diesel. Ha.

But ,my Husband and I have a very very close trusting relationship so ultimately I don't think I would be too upset or concerned. At first, perhaps- but I wouldn't be giving the silent treatment either because he couldn't control it.

by Silver Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:40 PM

I talk in my sleep but, luckily, I say really stupid things!  Good luck!

by Platinum Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 5:23 PM

 I would say he has to get over it.

I  have had very vivid dreams about sex with my exdh... and wonder if I've been thrusting or girating in my sleep...I know I must've been breathing heavily. they've been that vivid. SO has never said anything.... good thing he doesn't ask.

by on Aug. 5, 2014 at 3:03 AM

To be honest if heard him say he loved someone such as an ex or anyone in his sleep yes I would feel hurt even though logically I KNOW dreams don't mean things in a literal sense except in very rare circumstances (I know this better than most bc we had to study dreams in hypnotherapy school) and almost everything is symbolic. 

Also I have had dreams where I was with my ex h and I have no idea why bc I seriously CAN"T STAND HIM!!!!  The only thing I feel for him that isn't resentful and angry and bitter etc is pity. Pity is the kindest thing I feel for him and not even the tiniest bit of attraction as a matter of fact sadly I didn't love him even when I was with him. 

SO knowing all that.. while it would for SURE hurt my heart to hear Todd say he loved someone else in his sleep.. I would not be mad at him or hold it against him bc logically I know it doesn't mean he does love them. 

I  hope that never happens though haha

View Full Size Image YVONNE

by on Aug. 5, 2014 at 3:27 AM
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i don't think i'd like if my hubby talked about his ex in his sleep, but then, she's not DEAD either. but your ex is, and you say you have no lingering loving thots. that might not be soooooooooo true. maybe, in your dream, you were revisiting a happier time w/ him. the diff is, you don't feel the same about him now, dead or not.

i talk in my sleep. and i've said something about my ex. my hubby didn't get mad at all, cuz he understands i have a child by him. and i sure thot i loved him even if i found out later i really didn't.

tell your hubby, hey! i might talk shit in my sleep. but my body is in bed w/ YOU by CHOICE! i might not be able to control my dreams, or my sleeptalk. but i CAN control who i'm w/ and who i WANNA be w/. so shut the hell up already. i was sleeping.  i picked you and i'm  happy w/ you. so get the hell over it already!

by Brenda on Aug. 5, 2014 at 9:26 AM

I would be upset yes but you are sleeping and who is this person??? 

by Member on Aug. 5, 2014 at 11:57 PM

I'd be a bit hurt probably but it's sleep's not as if the person has any control over it.  My dh once told me (in his sleep) that 'they' had our 2 month old daughter's draft number and they'd call her when they were ready but not to worry because it was like Candy Crush Saga.  I was so confused since he seemed so sure he was telling me something incredibly important.

He really needs to get over it though.  People can't help what they dream or if they talk in their sleep.  Dreams are silly things.

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