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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

what do you do to break the routine up?

Posted by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:38 PM
  • 13 Replies

so, I have been with my hubby for 3 1/2 years now, but livivng together only like 6 months, I have a DD that is not his, he just got married iin April this year, and I really want to do everything I can for my marriage, so many people has told me not to let rouitne get in the middle, What have you guys done to avoid routine. and I feel like sometiimes we need time for both of us only, so I have told him maybe once a month my DD can sleep at my mom's house but he says he feels guilty. do you think that's right? or how do you handle that?

CafeMom Tickers

by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 4:38 PM
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Replies (1-10):
Fayanne
by Gold Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 5:16 PM
2 moms liked this

 it's not so much that routine gets in the middle that is the issue, it's neglecting your spouse's needs because you let other things become a priority.

What did you do to show him he was loved while you were dating? Keep doing those things. Show that you love him, make him a priority, not other things.

BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 5:34 PM
1 mom liked this

I agree with this.

Quoting Fayanne:

 it's not so much that routine gets in the middle that is the issue, it's neglecting your spouse's needs because you let other things become a priority.

What did you do to show him he was loved while you were dating? Keep doing those things. Show that you love him, make him a priority, not other things.


furbabymum
by on Aug. 4, 2014 at 5:46 PM
2 moms liked this

 Fayanne is brilliant of course. Also, my kids LOVE to sleep over at their grandparents house. If they could they'd never come home. So I'd feel no guilt about dropping my kids off so I could hang out with my DH. Neither should you!

 

IMO dont' listen to people who haven't been married at least 5 years. They're still just testing things. :P

Pukity
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 7:50 PM

So true, thats another one some of my friends told me, think as a girlfriend, not the wife and try to do the same, things..good point. Thanks

Quoting Fayanne:

 it's not so much that routine gets in the middle that is the issue, it's neglecting your spouse's needs because you let other things become a priority.

What did you do to show him he was loved while you were dating? Keep doing those things. Show that you love him, make him a priority, not other things.


Pukity
by Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 7:52 PM
1 mom liked this

Yeah, that the thing, my DD loves to sleep over at my moms house too, so I dont feel guitly about it, its him but i guess I can make a plan to try to convince him maybe once a month won't hurt anyone. 


Thanks :)

Quoting furbabymum:

 Fayanne is brilliant of course. Also, my kids LOVE to sleep over at their grandparents house. If they could they'd never come home. So I'd feel no guilt about dropping my kids off so I could hang out with my DH. Neither should you!

 

IMO dont' listen to people who haven't been married at least 5 years. They're still just testing things. :P


ArmyWife112908
by Bronze Member on Aug. 4, 2014 at 11:05 PM
1 mom liked this
I think routines are vital for running a house and for kids. They are not always great for marriage, I work my routines around my DH. Dh works graves I know that on the weekends I have all morning and afternoon to run errands, clean etc. Buy the time he wakes up Im waiting for him on the couch to snuggle up too. I also think being flexible in it all is important. Dh wants to get take out instead of cooking we'll grab it. He knows that I am willing to bend over backwards to take care of him and DS and vice versa. My family is my ppriority.
earthangel1967
by YVONNE on Aug. 5, 2014 at 3:25 AM
1 mom liked this

I agree with  the  others... even once a week isn't too much if grandma doesn't mind! It's wonderful he cares so much about dd but remind him that dd loves to stay at grandmas and will be having fun and also remind him that someday dd is going to grow up and move out of the home and it will be just you and him left and you will want to have a  closely bonded loving happy relationship and not feel like strangers at that point bc you grew apart. : ) One of the most loving things you can do for your daughter remind him is to love one another and show her a healthy example of what a good relationship/marraige looks like because she will have those kind of standards most likely in her relationships when she grows up. 

Maybe that will help him feel better about it and be able to just relax and enjoy it. 

View Full Size Image YVONNE

LadyBast
by Brenda on Aug. 5, 2014 at 9:28 AM

I have to agree and you are amazing too!

Quoting furbabymum:

 Fayanne is brilliant of course. Also, my kids LOVE to sleep over at their grandparents house. If they could they'd never come home. So I'd feel no guilt about dropping my kids off so I could hang out with my DH. Neither should you!

 

IMO dont' listen to people who haven't been married at least 5 years. They're still just testing things. :P


MomToovey
by Marianne on Aug. 5, 2014 at 4:33 PM
1 mom liked this

 The kids don't NEED to leave the house in order for you guys to have quality alone time. My DH and I have at least one, if not more, date nights a week, and we never leave the house. We just wait until DD goes to bed and the night is ours. Our most common activity is enjoying some wine, a good movie, and snuggling on the couch. But there are limitless possibilities. Dinner and dancing at 10pm? Why not?! Thanks to video games, you can go bowling, golfing, etc. without leaving the house. You can play regular video games together too, my DH and I love to play the Lego series together. Board games, too! And sometimes just sitting around and talking. You can reminisce about the past, fantasize about the future, plan out what you'd do with a winning lottery ticket, anything!

rockinmomto2
by on Aug. 5, 2014 at 4:43 PM
1 mom liked this

The hubs and I make time for our relationship. My mom takes all 3 of our kids on a very regular basis (recently, she's been taking them from Saturday evening through Sunday at lunch time), so we do grown up stuff like seeing two movies in a row at the theaters or going to a concert. Stuff we can't do with our kids.

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