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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Torn

Posted by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:36 PM
  • 14 Replies

Ok so my baby boy is all signed up and going to full day kindergarden in a couple weeks. I was joking about the free time we will have and dh jokingly said that we could have another baby but I don't think he was really joking. I joked and said not till February cause if we got pregnant now the baby would be born in June and I already have 2 summer bithdays and later he came and said so February huh in a serious tone. We have 3 boys right now and I would love to try for a girl but I really don't want another kid. It would mean having to buy a new car and so many other things. He knows I don't want to have another kid but it seems like he's getting his hopes up.

by on Aug. 6, 2014 at 10:36 PM
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Replies (1-10):
BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 11:41 PM
I'm not sure how is feel if DH would want another. I'm done and have my tubes tied. He's had baby fever a couple of times but it's only lasted a few days and I didn't find out til after it passed. I guess I'd be a bit torn too if he was really serious. Talk to him and see if he really is serious and let him know your concerns and go from there. Good luck with whatever you decide.
M4LG5
by Bronze Member on Aug. 6, 2014 at 11:58 PM
Yeah....I would shut that down (for us). I'm done! I got 3 girls and I'm good. Haha
S-Rogers52585
by New Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 1:08 AM
I have 2 boys. One from a previous relationship and DH & I have one together. BC of my BiPolar my mom husband and OBGYN had an appointment without me and then talked me into getting my tubes tied. I would've loved to have one more. I was really hurt when the next appointment came and I was bombarded by the 3 of them. I realize they did it for my safety but I was crushed. I ended up getting them tied after my youngest was born. And I'm glad I did :)

Quoting deadlights86:

Ok so my baby boy is all signed up and going to full day kindergarden in a couple weeks. I was joking about the free time we will have and dh jokingly said that we could have another baby but I don't think he was really joking. I joked and said not till February cause if we got pregnant now the baby would be born in June and I already have 2 summer bithdays and later he came and said so February huh in a serious tone. We have 3 boys right now and I would love to try for a girl but I really don't want another kid. It would mean having to buy a new car and so many other things. He knows I don't want to have another kid but it seems like he's getting his hopes up.

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 8:04 AM

 uhmmm.... well... I would not have another baby just because my dh wanted one, if I were in your shoes.

If you know you're done, you're done.

MagicTemptation
by Christina on Aug. 7, 2014 at 9:05 AM

I think if either spouse whole heartedly does not want another child then that is the answer. Of course there might be some arguements from the one who does want more, but if you have a child just to please your spouse, you might grow to be resentful.

I am done. My dh wants more. However I do the majority of the care taking. (cleaning, cooking, homework, appointments, etc...) I know if I have another, that wouldn't change. My youngest starts school this year and I found a job I love. I spent the last 10 years putting any of my personal desires aside to be there for my family. Now I want to pursue someone I enjoy while the kids are in school. I believe I earned it and owe it to myself to find an identity outside of being child's mom or dh's wife.

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 9:22 AM

 I pretty much knew I would be done with the third one, even before she was born. When she was born, she nearly didn't make it, and the doctor who did my C section said " I would agree that you should not have any more children" so for me.. it's a non issue.  I was lucky to be blessed with three healthy, intelligent girls.

lucky3x
by Member on Aug. 7, 2014 at 10:08 AM

You need to sit down with your DH and discuss how you feel about it. Let him express his feelings too. Whatever you decide must be a mutual decision.

furbabymum
by on Aug. 7, 2014 at 10:12 AM

 I feel ya. Man do I feel ya. I've got nothing.

xXBonneMamanXx
by on Aug. 7, 2014 at 10:26 AM

It's something you should discuss. Obviously it's your body, but you don't want him to resent you for just vetoing it without knowing why.

MomToovey
by Marianne on Aug. 7, 2014 at 11:22 AM

 I agree that if both parents aren't in agreement, then you shouldn't go for it. I also agree that you should talk to him about it and let him know you were only joking, etc. It's best to shoot the idea down now than wait until he's really excited about it. Good luck.

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