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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

I Hate My Husband

Posted by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:52 PM
  • 78 Replies

I hate my husband. I resent him and lost all faith in him as a husband. I want a divorce. I honestly do not think I can continue in my marriage. I feel so bad because he said he married me because I never gave up on him, and he truly feels I'd never give up on marriage. But I cannot continue, and I feel like a failure. 

I am wanted to go annoymous on this post because I do not want to hear snide bitchy remarks from people who swear they're perfect.But it wouldn't let me. I need advise and support. I DO NOT NEED TO BE BASHED! I am alredy in a depressed state of mind. I have already posted the back story in another group a month ago so here it is.. 

My husband and I got married in May this year. I found out I was pregnant at the end of June. Timing was completely off, and we're dealing with some legal issues at this time. But I was happy, I wanted the baby. I have two kids whom live with us full time, and he has three that live with their mother. When I told him that my birth control failed and we were pregnant, he's response was that we needed to abort it. He did not want kids at this time, and he has his with his ex wife. Also, he told me that I couldn't handle it with working as much as I do, plus going to school fultime. I am the bread winner, while all his money goes to support his ex. Whatever I guess. He was dead set on not having this baby. I was totally crushed. I tried for a month to talk him into having it. (FYI I am 100 percent pro-choice!!!!) 

Well yesterday was the day we took care of "his burden". I have been crying since then. I am hurting and mourning the decision he made. I know I had a choice but he wasn't supportive of my choice. So I listened to  my husband, who is supposed to guide us as a man. He was selfish is making me do this. Selfish for only caring about his other kids. I hate him, I resent him.. And now I resent the relationship he has with his ex and kids. (and before I here anything about birth control. I WAS ON IT! and I wanted this baby, he didn't. AND I got the Paragard now so don't waste your time) 

I do not want anything to do with his kids. Call me selfish but why should I have to be around him and his kids. Always wondering what it would be like if we had our baby. 

I don't know if it is worth waiting. I loved him, but I doubt his abilities to be a leader and take care of our family. This is not the man I married. 

Sorry if I sound bitchy but I am so unbelievably hurt right now. 

by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:52 PM
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Replies (1-10):
nelliesmommy
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:56 PM
1 mom liked this
I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't know what to say really. Life is too short to be unhappy but I would try to make things work before divorce. I would be very upset also but I don't believe in abortion and I would have kept my child. Please don't take that as me bashing you. I wish you the best of luck.
M4LG5
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 12:59 PM
2 moms liked this

 I don't have advice to give except it's okay to be as upset as you are.  Don't make any drastic decisions right now.  If you do, they will be impulsive decisions and that's not how you want to go about this.

I would love to give you a hug right now in person but here is one virtually....

HUG!!!!

You will figure out a way to get through this.  If you need to, go to counseling, talk to your husband when things are calm so that he at least understands your persepective.  If he absolutely doesn't want any more kids, tell him to get fixed.

You will not get any bashing from me whatsoever!

whittles
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:04 PM

Thank you! I did not taking that as bashing because you didn't tell me what I should do or what I did was wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. 

I want to try counseling, I don't want to lose him. I just wish he can do more. He is on the fence about it. First he says yes then he says that I am the one who has issues so I should go.

Quoting nelliesmommy: I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't know what to say really. Life is too short to be unhappy but I would try to make things work before divorce. I would be very upset also but I don't believe in abortion and I would have kept my child. Please don't take that as me bashing you. I wish you the best of luck.


whittles
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:14 PM

Thank you! I do feel that wanting a divorce is out of anger right now and I should allow some time. I really want to get us in counseling but don't know where to start. I have insurance and he doesn't. I call my insurance company tomorrow and see if we can go together. 

Quoting M4LG5:

 I don't have advice to give except it's okay to be as upset as you are.  Don't make any drastic decisions right now.  If you do, they will be impulsive decisions and that's not how you want to go about this.

I would love to give you a hug right now in person but here is one virtually....

HUG!!!!

You will figure out a way to get through this.  If you need to, go to counseling, talk to your husband when things are calm so that he at least understands your persepective.  If he absolutely doesn't want any more kids, tell him to get fixed.

You will not get any bashing from me whatsoever!


frankiesma530
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:19 PM
5 moms liked this

You being the breadwinner, you could've taken on that responsibility and politely kicked his ass to the curb. You've been carrying the family as it is. I don't think he should make you sacrifice like that. 

You don't want anything to do with him or his kids and this is a very serious situation you guys have going on, it could be anger talking but I'd be walking away if I had those kind of feelings. I'm sorry . :(

Serenity7
by Platinum Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:22 PM
1 mom liked this

 ((((((((((((((((Hugs)))))))))))

 

Linda photo LiaprLinda.png
whittles
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:29 PM

Thank you. I know I shoudln't resent his kids but I do. You are right, that should tell me to walk away. It's not their fault their dad is the way he is. 

Quoting frankiesma530:

You being the breadwinner, you could've taken on that responsibility and politely kicked his ass to the curb. You've been carrying the family as it is. I don't think he should make you sacrifice like that. 

You don't want anything to do with him or his kids and this is a very serious situation you guys have going on, it could be anger talking but I'd be walking away if I had those kind of feelings. I'm sorry . :(


24clark
by Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:30 PM
2 moms liked this

This is all fresh and raw for you. Take your time to nuture yourself and mourn the loss of your baby. 

Couseling would be a very good idea for you. I could give additional advice but with what has happened and what you have been through, you need time to deal with the immediate issues at hand. You can pick up on the marriage once you have healed a bit from this week. I am very sorry for you and your situation. I pray that you are okay and that your husband steps up to the role he committed himself to as a leader of your family.

3xangel
by Bronze Member on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:34 PM
1 mom liked this
Yeah, sounds like it would be best for you to walk away from him. Hugs
nelliesmommy
by on Aug. 10, 2014 at 1:36 PM
1 mom liked this
You're welcome hun. I would definitely try counseling. You are angry right now and it's not best to make major decisions when you're mad. And he needs to be understanding and not just brush your feelings off. A therapist will help him see his errors. He has issues also and he needs to go.

Quoting whittles:

Thank you! I did not taking that as bashing because you didn't tell me what I should do or what I did was wrong. Everyone is entitled to their own beliefs. 

I want to try counseling, I don't want to lose him. I just wish he can do more. He is on the fence about it. First he says yes then he says that I am the one who has issues so I should go.

Quoting nelliesmommy: I'm sorry you are going through this. I don't know what to say really. Life is too short to be unhappy but I would try to make things work before divorce. I would be very upset also but I don't believe in abortion and I would have kept my child. Please don't take that as me bashing you. I wish you the best of luck.

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