I hate my husband. I resent him and lost all faith in him as a husband. I want a divorce. I honestly do not think I can continue in my marriage. I feel so bad because he said he married me because I never gave up on him, and he truly feels I'd never give up on marriage. But I cannot continue, and I feel like a failure.
I am wanted to go annoymous on this post because I do not want to hear snide bitchy remarks from people who swear they're perfect.But it wouldn't let me. I need advise and support. I DO NOT NEED TO BE BASHED! I am alredy in a depressed state of mind. I have already posted the back story in another group a month ago so here it is..
My husband and I got married in May this year. I found out I was pregnant at the end of June. Timing was completely off, and we're dealing with some legal issues at this time. But I was happy, I wanted the baby. I have two kids whom live with us full time, and he has three that live with their mother. When I told him that my birth control failed and we were pregnant, he's response was that we needed to abort it. He did not want kids at this time, and he has his with his ex wife. Also, he told me that I couldn't handle it with working as much as I do, plus going to school fultime. I am the bread winner, while all his money goes to support his ex. Whatever I guess. He was dead set on not having this baby. I was totally crushed. I tried for a month to talk him into having it. (FYI I am 100 percent pro-choice!!!!)
Well yesterday was the day we took care of "his burden". I have been crying since then. I am hurting and mourning the decision he made. I know I had a choice but he wasn't supportive of my choice. So I listened to my husband, who is supposed to guide us as a man. He was selfish is making me do this. Selfish for only caring about his other kids. I hate him, I resent him.. And now I resent the relationship he has with his ex and kids. (and before I here anything about birth control. I WAS ON IT! and I wanted this baby, he didn't. AND I got the Paragard now so don't waste your time)
I do not want anything to do with his kids. Call me selfish but why should I have to be around him and his kids. Always wondering what it would be like if we had our baby.
I don't know if it is worth waiting. I loved him, but I doubt his abilities to be a leader and take care of our family. This is not the man I married.
Sorry if I sound bitchy but I am so unbelievably hurt right now.