DH and I are not good examples of communication. There are times that it has been a flat out shouting match. I hate that it has been like that. There were plenty of times that I considered separation but I was too chicken.
On top of that, DH creates a stressful environment. The girls often argue back with him because he engages in their tactics and attitude. The girls are pretty chill in general but DH gets irritated with things pretty easily and has a sense of anxiety or something if its not done the way he wants. For example, if we don't have anything to do on the weekend, I allow the girls to sleep in (they are busy with school and sports most days). DH wakes up early and wants to clean, clean, clean and expects everyone to do something right when they get up. He barks at them and so, in return, they don't want to do it. If it's up to me, I allow them to eat and then together we create a checklist, turn on music, and go. They are on board and they are great.
But, lately, I've noticed them bicker at each other a lot more. Yes, I know it's normal but the way they are doing it sounds exactly like how DH and I speak to each other.
I hate it, I feel guilty about it. I am correcting them in how they respond, I do have consequences and I, myself, am REALLY trying to not respond the way I do with DH. It is hard because I will hold it in and then explode because they way he is. He just jabs and jabs and jabs and is negative about most things.
I'm really trying to make sure the girls communicate appropropriately and talk about what they want and need instead of throw attitude to each other.
I've tried to talk to him once before but he blamed me.
I don't know if I'm really looking for advice or just needed to vent.