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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

In Sickness and in health?

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 3:59 PM
  • 22 Replies
I have been diagnosed with a neurological disorder. I have always been busy and active, cleaning, cooking, kids, dogs, cats, volunteering, helping others, baking, crafting, etc. Same as most moms. So, I am physically able to do less and less. I get no help from dh. I have mentioned that I really need help with the house and the dogs, many times. He works all day and has a 2 hour commute.If I am having a symptomatic day, pain, extreme fatigue, uncoordinated, difficulty walking, jerky movement, extreme weakness, I cannot clean and cook. I am alone all day long with the animals, who cannot be unattended all day. Dh is fighting me on getting someone to help me out around here. I can't drive on these days, and dh will not go shopping. I am thinking about moving back to my home state and possibly getting into disability and housing. I have a progressive form of this disease and eventually won't be able to walk, feed, toilet, or bathe myself. I'm afraid that if I stay here dh is going to neglect me.
by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 3:59 PM
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Replies (1-10):
LadyBast
by Brenda on Aug. 21, 2014 at 4:26 PM

I think you should try to find a way to move back home since he is not helping at all, I hate to say it but if you have any life ins or anything I would make sure he does not get a thing from you.. Good luck with all. Hugs

youngstepmom512
by New Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:07 PM
Omgosh sweetie, if you are really afraid he will neglect you, get out Now. I know its easier said than done, but you need to care for yourself if he won't. Why wont he get you help?
cali_angel_girl
by Amy :) on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:24 PM

Yeah hun if you feel like you aren't going to get he help you need from your dh I would just move back home where you will get the care you need.

emarin77
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:38 PM

I would talk with your husband about your feelings and what is going on.  Discuss what you want to do. I also suggest you get the physical therapy you need and any orthopedics/walk aids to help you to walk more easily.  I am so sorry that your husband is not concerned about your needs.  I have a rare neurological disorder, Spastic Paraplegia, a progressive disorder but I receive a lot of assistance from my husband.

Jerzymom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:43 PM

I'm so sorry. You need to get the help you need. Time to put "yourself" first.

UCFknight
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:08 PM

I'm so sorry you are having to deal with this, essentially alone. Talk with your husband again. Let him know what you need. If he can't help, tell him your plans to move back to your home state to get the family support and care you need!! 

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:08 PM

 This.

hugs

Quoting Jerzymom:

I'm so sorry. You need to get the help you need. Time to put "yourself" first.

 

                   
    Life is divine chaos
Embrace it.  Forgive  yourself.   Breathe
           And enjoy the ride....   

rockinmomto2
by Silver Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:11 PM

Try a therapist or take him to see your doctor so he can truly understand the severity of your illness. If that doesn't work, tell him your plans to move home, and go through with them. You deserve to be taken care of, especially now. 

furbabymum
by Gold Member on Aug. 22, 2014 at 2:00 PM

 Yeah doesn't sound like he's the kind of guy you want "in sickness". However, hire someone and let that be that.

UpSheRises
by Member on Aug. 22, 2014 at 2:02 PM

How long have you been married and when did you get the diagnosis?

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