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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

Heartbroken new mom

Posted by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:27 PM
  • 47 Replies


I'm new to this site, and to online chat groups in general.  I've come looking for support and a place to release my thoughts and emotions. I'm a Christian woman who has been married for 8 years and have an 8 month old son. My husband revealed to me on June 8th, just days after our wedding anniversary, that he had an affair for the first 5 months of our son's life. It was with a woman who works for us and who knows myself and our son. They were invested emotionally with each other and had sex "5 or 6 times".

I have agreed to not disclose this to any of our friends or family out of respect for my husband and our marriage. But, I am still heartbroken and stuggle daily with how to get over this. We attend couples counseling 2-3 times per month and I am praying all the time, but it's very hard to feel like I am cared about and supported through all of this because I can't talk about it with anyone.

It's very unlike me to reveal this much about myself and my life, especially to complete strangers in an online group, but I just don't know where else to go. Would you happen to know of any Christian support groups online? Or even if there is an infidelity support group on this site?

Thank you for your time and consideration.


by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:27 PM
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Replies (1-10):
famiglia_bella
by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:33 PM
6 moms liked this
You need a friend, honey, one that can wrap their arms around you and give you a hug. I'd hightail it to my bff or my momma. Online support is great, but sometimes you NEED a shoulder to cry on. I'm sorry that this happened to you. You didn't deserve this kind of disrespect. I hope you both can turn this painful stumbling block into a stepping stone towards something solid and trustworthy.
The_Doodle
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:35 PM
6 moms liked this

To hell with respecting your husband. If you need to tell someone to help you get through this, then do it.

Nimue930
by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:41 PM
7 moms liked this
Your dh can't dictate to you how you cope with his betrayal. He's just trying to protect his ass from your friends and families wrath at him being a cheater. Tough shit to him. You do what you have to do to work through this. Dh will just have to live with people knowing he was such a jerk. Poor baby. He made that choice months ago now he has to live with the consequences
Jerzymom
by Bronze Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 5:59 PM
1 mom liked this

Ok I'm sorry but, you agreed to not tell family and friends out of rescpect to you husband!? Seriously! Do you think he had respect for you and your marriage while he was having his affair!? I'm a christian woman. Catholic. The first thing I would do is go to my church and talk to a priest. The church has support groups and marriage in trouble programs. Do you belong to a church that can help you? Tell them your situation. You can't keep this locked up inside. It will eat you up inside. My prayers are with you.  hugs

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:04 PM

 go to youtube and look up Mark Gungor. There's a video there about boundaries and apologies. It's  not much, but it may help.

Good luck

Fayanne
by Gold Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:07 PM

 and honestly, I WOULD share with close family and your pastor should be involved in helping you get past this. Has he acknowledged why he had the affair? What other issues are going on in the marriage?

jamamama00
by Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:08 PM
Go to survivinginfidelity.com
uriahadel
by Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:10 PM
1 mom liked this
I am also a Christian but even in the bible it says your sin will come to the light. I am assuming you have a church you are a member of. Go to your pastor and reach out to family and friends at your church. If he is really apologetic and wants to make things right then he wouldn't expect you to keep his sins undercover. He messed up and whatever consequences he will have for doing what he did, he will have to pay for them.
I commend you for trying to work out your marriage but lying to people is not going to help you or him. You need your church family and family to support you during this time. Don't deal with it alone. God did not make us to deal with our struggles alone. Counseling is great but you need the support of your family Jane church family. And he needs to be held accountable.

I am sorry you are going through this. I know how bad it hurts.
jamamama00
by Member on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:12 PM
This.

One of the 'rules' of surviving an affair includes the cheating partner owning up to his deeds and filling the family in...

Quoting Fayanne:

 and honestly, I WOULD share with close family and your pastor should be involved in helping you get past this. Has he acknowledged why he had the affair? What other issues are going on in the marriage?

rockinmomto2
by on Aug. 21, 2014 at 6:13 PM

This. I have these questions as well.

Quoting Fayanne:

 and honestly, I WOULD share with close family and your pastor should be involved in helping you get past this. Has he acknowledged why he had the affair? What other issues are going on in the marriage?


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