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Love & Marriage Love & Marriage

New here- does your family like your DH?

Posted by on Aug. 26, 2014 at 11:48 AM
  • 32 Replies
My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and have two daughters. We have a healthy relationship and have both grown a lot since we've been together. We've had our challenges with him being unemployed twice while I was pregnant both times, he is an introvert and I'm more of an extrovert, and he is overcoming video game addictions. For these reasons, my family does not care for him and actually tried to say that they think he is abusive! Which is far from the truth. We've had those issues but he is so good to me and the girls, we communicate very open and honest, we can and do share everything, we make each other laugh and encourage each other and our house is full of love and respect for each other and God. I know as we grow we can have a wonderful life together. We plan to get married soon, but I know my family isn't thrilled about it since they see the negative over the positive. I know ultimately it's my life and my choice but it breaks my heart to not have my family's blessing. Have any of you experienced family who was not thrilled about your choice in DH? How do you "get over it"?
by on Aug. 26, 2014 at 11:48 AM
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Replies (1-10):
CodJesKai
by Member on Aug. 26, 2014 at 11:59 AM
Don't worry. My family can't stand my DH. They don't like him because he's different from all the other men in my family. He doesn't have a get angry when something goes wrong so they say he doesn't care about anyone. He doesn't know how to do handy man stuff or work on the car so they say he's not a man. He like to watch movies and play video games instead of hunt and fish so they say he's lazy. He works in a call center instead on driving a semi so they say he's worthless. You just have to block them out and say that's he's perfect in your eyes and that's all that matters. It's extremely hard to ignore, but it's possible.

if you'd like to talk about anything anytime, message me. I know how you feel and talking to someone will help.
UCFknight
by Silver Member on Aug. 26, 2014 at 12:27 PM

We all make mistakes in life. You should tell your family what should matter to them is how much you are loved and cared for by your boyfriend, and the father of your kids. They aren't marrying him, you are. I wish you the best. It is usually harder when the extended family doesn't like the significant other.

Just know, you may not want to run to family if y'all start having issues. They will use it as another reason for disliking him (especially after you kiss and makeup), and hang it over his head every chance they get. Don't give them any more reason to not like him. And if they start tearing him down in front of you, get up and leave Or hang up the phone. Eventually they will learn they can't be disrespectful about your significant other. 


BonitaM
by Ruby Member on Aug. 26, 2014 at 1:05 PM
When we first became engaged his mother threatened to call the cops to our wedding to stop the ceremony. Both his parents and mine told us that we shouldn't get married.
These along with a few other reasons led us to eloping. We'll be celebrating 13 years in November and I don't regret a thing. His mom loves me now and my family still doesn't like him. Thankfully neither of us believed in marrying the family when we married each other.
Although it is much nicer to have family support; it was never a consideration for me. Neither of us cares what anyone else says/thinks as long as we love each other and are happy with one another.
cola87
by New Member on Aug. 26, 2014 at 2:36 PM

Thanks ladies, this is the encouragement I needed today. :) 

MomToovey
by Marianne on Aug. 26, 2014 at 4:02 PM

 One of my closest friends got married in January of last year. Her family (along with her) was over the moon for this guy. They saw no fault in him at all. Then less than a year later, he walked out on the marriage. Naturally, they all hate him now. Sometimes parents' blessings aren't all they're cracked up to be.

furbabymum
by on Aug. 26, 2014 at 4:10 PM

 You just said he's not abusive but "We've had those issues". I'm thinking your family has a better idae about him than you do.

Saharra
by Member on Aug. 26, 2014 at 4:32 PM
At first my family loved my DH. Now they hate him. I think my mom thought that when we got married I would continue to go to her for things. But her advice was never the best, and I respect DH. She doesn't like it and my dad doesn't stand up for me. So we still see them, but not often. Probably once a month or so and we only live 10 min apart. But I KNOW without a doubt that God put him with me and my parents don't have a say in that. If you feel this is who God wants you to be with, go for it. You will have rocky times, but the more you lean on each other and God, the stronger you will be. And who knows.... Your story is different then mine. You may find that they will learn to respect him the more they see you together :)

Quoting cola87: My boyfriend and I have been together for 6 years and have two daughters. We have a healthy relationship and have both grown a lot since we've been together. We've had our challenges with him being unemployed twice while I was pregnant both times, he is an introvert and I'm more of an extrovert, and he is overcoming video game addictions. For these reasons, my family does not care for him and actually tried to say that they think he is abusive! Which is far from the truth. We've had those issues but he is so good to me and the girls, we communicate very open and honest, we can and do share everything, we make each other laugh and encourage each other and our house is full of love and respect for each other and God. I know as we grow we can have a wonderful life together. We plan to get married soon, but I know my family isn't thrilled about it since they see the negative over the positive. I know ultimately it's my life and my choice but it breaks my heart to not have my family's blessing. Have any of you experienced family who was not thrilled about your choice in DH? How do you "get over it"?
ejkdmom
by on Aug. 26, 2014 at 4:57 PM

I've always said that if something was to happen to my marriage my family would take my Hubby's side!  They love him more than me I think!

On the other hand, his family despises me.  Going on 26 years and we are still going strong.  Sometimes, there are people who are not going to like you despite what you do.  I can't say it still doesn't sting, because it does, but really I don't let it bother me on a daily basis.  The only reason why I say it still stings is because a relative asked about my in-laws today and it got me thinking.  I don't know if you get over it, but it just becomes part of your life and you either give it your precious time and energy or you don't.  I choose not to (most of the time).

countrymomma81
by Bronze Member on Aug. 26, 2014 at 5:57 PM

They do. They've loved him since they met him. I think they like him more than they like me, to be honest. 

ladyvamp5489
by Bronze Member on Aug. 26, 2014 at 6:01 PM

My family didnt like him at first as he had long "hippy" hair and as the years went by and they got to know him better and they saw how good he treated me they love him now. They also didnt like him cuz we moved in together after 2 weeks and i was pg 2 months later. But we have been married 18 yrs now!

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